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You did a great job with this poem. I think this does a great job of expressing emotion. I love the idea of the rhyme scheme, but I think it takes away from the meaning of the poetry itself. Your ideas could be much clearer if you changed the rhyme scheme, or took it out completely. If you want to add another stanza, you could make it a different, more subtle rhyme scheme. I think this poem was really well written. Great job, keep on writing!