Hurt

Simple yet really deep poem.

I like the idea that individually we don't hurt, we all hurt together.

Nice Poem...
Plus, I really like the repetition that you built in this poem.
Good Job. But you're really hurt, are you?

Hey there, beauty!

My first major suggestion for this piece is that you elaborate! You have, right now, a series of statements regarding a very muted hurt that the reader gets no perspective of! Honestly, with what you've given me, I want to be one of those people asking idiotic questions, like what's wrong with you, why you're hurting, or who hurt you. I, as the reader, want to know more, but you've given me literally nothing to work with.

Now, it gets a bit better later on when you introduce the second person; you enter a tiny bit of narrative that gives us an insight into what we can guess is friendship--helping someone who is hurting because you understand. But then you say no one understands. So you've contradicted yourself quite nicely.

But..We hurt!

That's the ending, and it really doesn't connect to the reader. You have a lot of bones here. Some are connected, some aren't. But you have no muscle, no meat, nothing to really sink into. It's just the lining of a poem. So I want to challenge you to really enlarge this to beyond a sentiment. Pull me as the reader into your words and make me feel your hurt, whatever it is.

Keep writing, and let me know if you have any questions.