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Life of a Jesus freak (summery)

by dafreak


Basicaly the story starts off takeing place in heaven. a angel is being pulled from an intense war to be put on a special assignment. however god dosent tell him that the angel's assignment is to actualy confront the human that he has been fighting for. its a privlage for the angel to meet a human so the suprise and shock on both of them when they finaly meet.

Basicaly the mission sent out by god was sapposed to change both of their lives. the boy who thinks god dosent care even after he witnesses an angel. and an angel who belives humans take things for granted while his men fight to the bone for them. it is going to be filled with commedy sence the two are bound together. and even though the boy can see him nobody else can.

later on in the series the boy notices a few other people followed around by angels. he confronts them later on and finds out there going through the same thing. and also as the boy realized the intensidy of the fight by one day seeing with his own eyes the war rageing on right infront of him with demons vs angels. he gets the power through god to help the war.

these powers include speaking with such power that it shakes the ground. the ability to attack the demons. later on he gets spiritual daggers. a sheild. and soon the full armor (ofcorse he dosent just walk down the street with all of this on). later on he learns ranged attacks that basicaly shoots scriptures from his hands like mini bolts that peirce them. and later on he learns a very powerful move that requires the angels help called gods presence, wich locks nearby demons in a box. and as a breeze rolls by there bodys shred away with the wind.

at first he belives this is all in his head. the realization finaly hits after a night were he saw the war, and to prove to the angel its all in his head he runs to a demon and allows it to strike his face. he wakes up after the hard blow to realize he still has a noticable open wound on his face. he then comfirms it with his mom who almost faints at the sight of a giant open cut on his face.

all together the seriesis about a journy both the angel and human must take. and as the 2 work together they also wonder if they will be sperated at the end. their care for each other increeses. there hasnt been an end to it yet. but the amount of other angel bearers increase and im thinking of adding a demon bearer, who despised god so much he made a contract with the devil to have a demon help him with life.

Please give me feedback on rather this story is worth it and also if i should write this in 1st person or naritive? and if 1st person then what character should i pick. and if narritive if i should use god as the narritive.


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Sat Oct 16, 2021 4:50 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: So this is a proper summary here, and I think there's quite a lot of potential in this idea. At the moment it seems like you have a pretty solid premise, some solid character designs and also a decent outline for a plot so most of the work is done, its just a bit of fleshing out that you'd have to do here and there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Basicaly the story starts off takeing place in heaven. a angel is being pulled from an intense war to be put on a special assignment. however god dosent tell him that the angel's assignment is to actualy confront the human that he has been fighting for. its a privlage for the angel to meet a human so the suprise and shock on both of them when they finaly meet.

Basicaly the mission sent out by god was sapposed to change both of their lives. the boy who thinks god dosent care even after he witnesses an angel. and an angel who belives humans take things for granted while his men fight to the bone for them. it is going to be filled with commedy sence the two are bound together. and even though the boy can see him nobody else can.


Well this one appears to be just an actual summary of what the story is meant to be...and so I'm not really going to talk about the way its presented here, I'll to what I think of the ideas...aaand well the premise seems like it could be interesting. Its not a situation that I've seen too much of before, so it is pretty unique and the potential for some good comedy is something I always love to see in a story.

later on in the series the boy notices a few other people followed around by angels. he confronts them later on and finds out there going through the same thing. and also as the boy realized the intensidy of the fight by one day seeing with his own eyes the war rageing on right infront of him with demons vs angels. he gets the power through god to help the war.


OOoh...looks like there are potentially going to be some sort of superpowers happening in this story too, so that's also quite cool. You could certainly build this whole thing up into quite the story here. :D

these powers include speaking with such power that it shakes the ground. the ability to attack the demons. later on he gets spiritual daggers. a sheild. and soon the full armor (ofcorse he dosent just walk down the street with all of this on). later on he learns ranged attacks that basicaly shoots scriptures from his hands like mini bolts that peirce them. and later on he learns a very powerful move that requires the angels help called gods presence, wich locks nearby demons in a box. and as a breeze rolls by there bodys shred away with the wind.


Those seem like there are pretty on point for the source of the powers and actually seem like they'd be pretty effective against a lot of things. I think you've balanced it all out relatively well, I can already imagine how all of these might work in action.

at first he belives this is all in his head. the realization finaly hits after a night were he saw the war, and to prove to the angel its all in his head he runs to a demon and allows it to strike his face. he wakes up after the hard blow to realize he still has a noticable open wound on his face. he then comfirms it with his mom who almost faints at the sight of a giant open cut on his face.

all together the seriesis about a journy both the angel and human must take. and as the 2 work together they also wonder if they will be sperated at the end. their care for each other increeses. there hasnt been an end to it yet. but the amount of other angel bearers increase and im thinking of adding a demon bearer, who despised god so much he made a contract with the devil to have a demon help him with life.


Okayy....so I feel like maybe the paragraph before the last one probably happens a bit earlier. It would be a bit odd for this person to get powers and then only afterwards realize demons are real. On the whole I think you've managed to do a pretty good job here. You've certainly built up quite the character there and I think the themes you're trying to hit are some pretty good ones there.

Please give me feedback on rather this story is worth it and also if i should write this in 1st person or naritive? and if 1st person then what character should i pick. and if narritive if i should use god as the narritive.


I would personally think the POV of the human or perhaps the angel would be the best. Especially the human perhaps cause then the more celestial parts of this story can be introduced nicely and cleanly and so the readers can also learn new information at the rate of the human, which seems like it'd work good for the story.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think you've managed to do a pretty good job here. I like this idea, it seems like a story that I'd potentially read. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Points: 1040
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Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:53 pm
dafreak says...



i have been gone off the site for a while. however now that i thought of a few ideas. im back to see what you guys think :)





He who knows only his own generation remains forever a child.
— Cicero