I've never really called myself a fan of poetry, but I like this. The only grammatical error I saw was in the second line where unnatural should be unnaturally.
You use the line "one of those.....days" at the beginning and close to the middle. I think that if you added one more line such as that near the end it could add a tiny sense of repetition to this poem, and create a three-part structure/form. It seems like you were on some sort of path towards that because the 1st and 9th lines are where you place the "one of those...days" lines.
I like the wood symbol, especially the bit about the carving.
Anyway, this was a cool read. I hope I gave you some food for thought.
Points: 1355
Reviews: 27
Donate