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Young Writers Society



A hole in your fishing net.

by GrymmRipper


You cast a net into the river.

After a long wait and almost puffing up every bidi you had,you haul the net.But eh!There are way few fishes and a hell load of rubbish. So much for a days worth of catch. You separate the fishes from the plastic bottles, soggy branches and God-knows what. Place them in a basket and throw the rubbish back into the river. The sun is about to set and soon the day will be over.

You look around and see other fishermen going upstream towards the village.Guess they themselves have called it a day. You wonder if you should do so too. What you've caught today is only enough to fetch you a meal for tonight.

After a moment of hesitance, you said to yourself "I'll try again tomorrow,this is enough for today.'' You started making headway towards the village. As you kept rowing,you wondered how long will you be able to keep on with this trade.

The river is dying. It is polluted with industrial wastes and rubbish that is causing the schools of fishes to decline in number. Many of your fellow fishermen has given up fishing altogether. They sold off their boats and equipments to move to the city in hopes of better paying jobs. The very few who are still hanging onto this trade which has been long passed down by their forefathers are struggling from day to day, to make ends meet.

You are aware that one day you will be forced to abandon fishing too. For once,you feel a sense relief at the thought that you don't have a family to bear.You've been able to stay a bachelor for long and make do with the occasional affairs with the few widows back at the village.

While you were contemplating on these thoughts, you didn't notice a stray timber log that is being led by the current heading towards your boat. Before you know it, the timberhits your boat. Your boat is overturned and you're thrown into the river . You swim back up to the surface and hold on to your boat. The strong current is dragging you away. You try swimming towards the bank which was quite a distance away but to your dismay the current became fierce.

The river began swallowing you into its belly. You begin to struggle as you feel water entering your lungs. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and your chest was about to explode. At that moment, you realized that you were going to die.

"Why struggle?" you questioned.

"If I survived, I would suffer from poverty and die in a pathetic way. There is no family waiting for me at home. There is nothing to look forward to in this life."

You stopped struggling, began to let go and give in to the river that is claiming for your life. Besides, you owed your livelihood to the river. Guess it is time to repay its kindness.

Grymm Ripper. :]


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66 Reviews


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Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:39 am
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Angelreader77 wrote a review...



Hey there!
~here to review~
Hehe, I liked it. It was not really an expected ending. :)
Also, I liked the name of the story. At first I thought it was a spoiler but was I wrong. xD
The grammar is fine... I just think you should put spaces after the punctuation. Just this sentence:
There is way few fishes and a hell load of rubbish,so much for a days worth of catch.
Subject verb agreement: Plural subject, plural verb. Since it's 'fishes' it should be 'are'. Also I think you should make the part after the comma a separate sentence as the two sentences aren't relevant. Like:
There are way few fishes and a hell load of rubbish. So much for a days worth of catch.
You used 'oaring' somewhere in this story . I don't think that's a word. :P
Overall, it was a nice story. I liked your choice of words and use of present tense.
Keep Writing! :D
Angel




GrymmRipper says...


Thank you for the corrections! :D



GrymmRipper says...


I've made the necessary corrections. :D Thank you once again!





:D My pleasure.



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Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:18 pm
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MasterGrieves says...



May I ask about the paragraph without spaces? I can understand if this was by accident, but if it was intentional, can you elaborate on why? Does it add meaning to your piece.? I found it very depressing too. I also happened to love it. It had a nice feeling towards it. The lack of spaces make me think that the events in this piece are SO linked that they cannot be separated. However, if you are intending this lack of space, I'd say use it for ALL of the lines. People might think you're not an able writer (which you are) because of the inconsistencies. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed it!




GrymmRipper says...


It is definitely not intentional. I kept editing it but once submitted it keeps going back to this.I'm not sure what is wrong. Thank you for the review,I'm glad that you enjoyed it.



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Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:26 pm
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Kabloozleman says...



Spaces after punctuation? I liked. Depressing.





Some people file their [tax] returns inside of a dead fish.
— John Oliver