Published February 6, 2012
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,419 Literary Works • 672,008 Reviews
Hello there, KattieCurtis. In the name of the Knights of the Green Room and our Most Sacred and Tireless Quest to ensure that no works go unreviewed in the realm of the Literary Area, here I have come to free your long unreviewed piece from its state of reviewlessness on this fine Review Day. I hope you don’t mind. :3
First things first, I'm wondering what happened to your line breaks. From the capitalization, I'm assuming that you had line breaks when you pasted this piece into the editor, but that the submissions editor ate them.
In any case, I'd strongly recommend that you go back in and edit the line breaks back into this as right now, this poem is really hard to read without the line breaks.
With that said, it might be due to the formatting, but this piece was a bit confusing for me. I'm not sure what's going on, or who the narrator is, or what it is that "he" is doing. Having the line breaks would definitely help, but I also think including a few more background details and specifics would also help. Right now, I don't have any real idea of what's going on that lead up to this, and so this poem loses me.
It's kinda like he's invisible? Maybe The Unnoticed or the invisible n.n
Ok right, i'm finding this new set up really hard to work can someone please help me