Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I stared blank faced at the wand clutched between my cold fingertips. This could not be real. My boyfriend of almost a year Damien & I have only had unprotected once and now look where that has landed me. Cold regretful, and 3 weeks pregnant at age 17.Here I sat, in my empty 3 foot deep Jacuzzi bathtub, clad in Damien’s football jersey, underwear and my SpongeBob socks. My fire red hair is a curly mess on top of my head and mascara is running rapidly down my face. I picked up my cell and dialed Damien’s number, got no response. So I simply decided this wasn’t something that could wait. I shot him a text.
“I’m Prego!”
Well, this off to an interesting start. For a second when a wand was mentioned I was assuming this was going to be some sort of fantasy story, but then it just went in an entirely different direction there with what looks to be someone that's found themselves in a rather surprising and judging from their reaction at any rate, not necessarily welcome situation here which does make for a very intriguing start. As a first paragraph, I think this manages to get your attention as a reader quite well here.
One minute later he texted back “WHAT, is it mine?”
I looked at my blackberry screen as if I were seeing things. A brief rage over came me and I got up and threw my phone on my bed and screamed. “Endless Love” by Luther Vandross continuously blared from my phone. I really wasn’t in the mood for Damien right now. All of a sudden he wants to call me? I should have listened to my mom when she said it was a bad idea for me to date a college boy. These past few months have been hard dealing with him. He has admitted to cheating on me twice and it’s really hard for me to trust him especially when he’s hundreds of miles away at A & T State. Damien is a freshman in college, cute, smart & a Quarterback on the football team. I’m pretty sure he has gorgeous girls throwing their love at him every second. Yet, I’m stuck here without a watchful eye upon my sweetheart. There I lay buried beneath my pink silk sheets, hurdled in a fetal position with a million thoughts racing through my brain. This could not be happening. It could only be a cruel and lonely dream.
Hmm, well the ending there gets rather intense. You can certainly seem some very powerful bottled up emotions in the protagonist there and you can see how much this current situation is hurting them and the kind of mental state they are in. It paints the picture of someone that's questioning a few life decisions and not at all liking some of the answers that they are getting. The one tiny issue I'd have is perhaps on how that line that was texted back set it all off, cause it just doesn't quite seem to be something that would trigger a reaction like that. That is the only sort of inconsistency that we've got here. Otherwise, this makes for a pretty powerful little prologue here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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