“It’s funny how such a shocking event can slip away from your mind so easily. One minute you feel as though it is taking over your every thought and movement and then just as suddenly as it arrived, it vanishes from your head.
Every so often we look around and ask ourselves ‘How did we get this far?’ or feel the buzzing high of pride or sadness and think ‘Why did this happen to me?’
Memories can shrink to insignificance in the mind and then swiftly grow back into a thought of immense importance and take over with overwhelming power. And so the unexplainable cycle continues.
But what is a memory? A memory can be the faded photograph of yourself when you were young, shoved inside a dusty drawer. Or, a memory is the crimson flourish on the wall behind a startled victim. A memory is the dazzling but terrifying mirage that you experienced during your first drunken night out. No matter how hard you try to keep these things permantly swept under the carpet, it's impossible. Like pushing at a pulling weight. They’re always present and there will always be things, moments, conversations that remind you. It’s like the copy of that battered, dated novel that you store in a cardboard box out of sight. Now matter how many years later you open the book, the musty smell will be just as pungent, just as choking…just as, well, memorable.
So, the million dollar question is how can these memories which are almost imprinted in a person’s mind just vanish into what seems to be nothingness? Sure enough, the memories are still there because the person has lived through the experiences but why don’t they remember? Is it a punishment? Is it God’s doing? Or is it simply because the person doesn’t remember how to access the memories?
I mean, one moment a person can recall everything about a major memory such as the first death that they experienced. You remember every aggravating detail as though you’re still in the moment. You can feel the bladed tears scraping down your face. You can feel the punching rhythm of a broken heart in your mouth. You can feel Grief’s fists clenching your insides. The physical pain. And then with one swift movement, it’s gone. The mind has been emptied of its contents and is nothing but a hollow shell with the potential to be refilled…”