Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I don’t remember much. In fact, I only remember one tiny detail. All of the rest is a blur. Sometimes, if I really concentrate, I remember a sound, maybe a voice, maybe even a face. If I’m lucky. And then I forget. I only remember one tiny detail.
Sometimes, I get scared. Sometimes, when I forget why and what I am trying to remember, and I am just lying in the black, bottomless pit that is my head, I get scared. Scared, because I can’t remember. Scared, because I know I will forget. Scared, because I don’t know why I forget. Why? Why am I trapped; trapped inside my own head? I can’t remember. I only remember one tiny detail.
Okay...so this makes for a pretty intriguing start here. It looks like we've got ourselves a situation where this person here appears to have been subjected to a very shocking and traumatic situation where they can't seem to remember much of anything at all...and are struggling as a result of that inability to remember anything. It does a good job here of getting your attention as a reader.
I think they speak to me. Sometimes. Whoever “they” are. I have so many questions. But who would I ask? Who, exactly, when I can’t even remember who my family are. Oh my God. My family. My mum. My dad. Do I have any brothers or sisters? I don’t know. I only remember one tiny detail.
It taunts me. The constant beeping. When I think, it gets louder. I think it’s because I’m closer to being awake. Other times, I can fade it out, until it’s just background noise. It’s been around for so long, that I’ve learned to block out the noise. I am almost used to it. Almost. But not quite. I can’t decide when it started. But I want it to end. That I do know. I only remember one tiny detail.
Even though I know I am asleep, my mind is awake. Always awake. Maybe it is my brain, teasing me. Maybe it taunts me with the feeling of being wide awake, whilst my body stays fast asleep. Day after day. I lose track of time, after a while. I am awake inside, though I can’t ever remember actually being human. Actually being awake and out of my head. I think I have always been like this. Why can’t I open my eyes? Why can’t I wake up? I only remember one tiny detail.
This is creating a powerful sense of being trapped inside one's own mind here, and it manages to create a startling effect there in how terrifying it would be to genuinely not know what its like to be out of your own mind. It sounds a bit fanciful when its just stated but you manage describe it in such a way that you really bring the fear across quite well here. And the further descriptions of things forgotten seem to suggest that this person has some form of amnesia here and has perhaps lost nearly all of their memory here with the exception of only this one thing it appears.
I want to escape this living hell. I don’t even know if I am alive. But it’s hell all the same. Am I even sane? Maybe if I could actually remember something, at least I would be able to tell if I was sane or not. If I just knew what it was to be alive, to live. I just wish I could end this nightmare. I want to remember something. What am I trying to remember? I only remember one tiny detail.
Once, just once, I got so close to waking up. I could hear voices. Though now, I don’t know what those voices said. But I do remember one thing. One thing that was said. I held onto that word, that one precious word. Why? Because it was an answer. It answered one of my many questions. One tiny little detail: I have amnesia.
Hm, the voices in the head certainly seem to be adding another level of horror and general mystery to this piece cause you do wonder what that could all be about. This ending does it's job very well here I think, it leads the steadily building sense of dread with this condition to a proper climax of how they don't even know if they're alive and end it on the final punchline of them having amnesia. It makes for an overall powerful start here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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