Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
All I could see was a blur of colour whizzing by me. I could hear only the crunching of the dead leaves beneath my feet and the wind howling in my ears as I sped along the overgrown trail in the forest, dodging between trees to reach my goal. My hair, caught in the wind, flowed behind me like a billowing cape. Only one was thing on my mind, I had to retrieve the Cherry Code.
The secret of my tribe, wrapped safely in a little scroll made of old parchment and covered in ancient magic. I had to get to it before he did. If he were to read the Cherry Code he would know everything about us. Just that reminder was enough to give my determination a boost and I ran faster. I still hadn't figured out who he was, but my gut feeling was that he wasn't someone who would want to help. The occasional bird sang it's soft melody, but I no longer had time to listen to what it had to say.
Hmm, this is off to a pretty intense start here. We've got someone in the middle of an intense chase of sorts here aand it appears that we've got a situation where some very important object that can spell disaster for an entire tribe is hanging in the balance and needs to be secured. Its a classic premise there, not the most unique, but as always it is a really fun premise to play around with, and I'm liking this start far. It does a good job of getting a reader's attention here.
"Amiria!"I froze... "Amiria", I heard the voice again. This time it was only a whisper riding on the wind.
Breathing hard, I turned around and looked to see who was calling me. No one was there. Who could be calling me? No one is supposed to be here. I told myself. Silently I waited listening to the sound of my pounding heart and straining to hear the voice again. Five minutes passed and still nothing, slowly I turned back to continue on my journey with now another mystery to ponder on. The voice. Who did it belong to and why was it calling me?
Oooh, adding a little touch of some classic horror into the mix of this already intense chase sequence makes for a pretty awesome start here. Now we have ourselves a fairly powerful sense of unease being mixed into this situation and it really does drag you fully into the setting with these wonderful descriptions adding on top of the feelings that we're getting from our protagonist here.
I looked ahead at my goal, resting on the horizon was the Aloe Mansion. Just as in the tales, its towers kissed the clouds and the many walls seemed to hug the once green land it was sleeping on. It was a strange emerald colour and I could see a faint yellow mist wrapped around it like a blanket. My eyes strained to see even the tiniest detail. I was almost there. Yet something was wrong, I felt as if the leaves tossing in the crisp air were laughing at me instead of cheering me on. A chill ran down my spine.
Then I saw him.
Oooh, with that sort of cliffhanger there at the end, I daresay that this is more suited to be a first chapter than a prologue here. Its got a distinctly more first chapter like feel to it when you introduce how this person's in pursuit of this goal and then runs into this mysterious figure.
Overall, this is a pretty strong start for this piece here. It manages to do its job well enough that I find myself wanting to read more here. The way you show this characters emotions especially creates such a powerful impact on the reader.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Here as requested.
Please read Chapter one and tell me what you think!
So, the sentence could be: "A blur of colour whizzed by me, the leaves chrunching...." or "A blur of colour whizzing by me, I sped along the old trail...." 
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