Young Writers Society

Hello again! Sorry for the wait but here is the final review, as requested

After reading this the first time I'm little confused about the time gap from the last chapter. So far, none of these chapters connect very well. It's like one exciting scene immediately to the next exciting scene with no transition connecting them. I want to know how we moved from the last chapter to this chapter. Where are we?

Here are my nitpicks:

Miles had once asked me why this was the only place I drew, it was the same picture always; with the religious edifice, the fence, the park and it's one resting place.

It was the scene that reminded me why I was with Miles in the first place; why his kidnapping and theft, with me as an accomplice didn't scare me.

Which brought me back to here. The second theater in our old beaten school, Miles had told me to wait here. The second reason why I was sketching the old church again was it felt safe when I didn't. It seemed to calm me, at least temporarily. I had a lot a lot to feel worried about, last nights heist nearly got us both caught.

Miles injections were supposed to work. They weren't supposed to remember three minutes before it entered there (their) blood stream. But for some reason, last nights victim had.

"Quiet!" He glanced around the empty auditorium then shrugged, "You're overreacting. He saw a girl and the schools logo, the police can't hold down the whole student body. They will investigate an absent or truant girl." I folded the paper in my hand nervously.

"Renee." He looked at me, his green eyes bore into mine. "No one will find us out. Then, after this all settles we can keep it up. Think of what we could gain. Just trust me." I looked down again as I began folding the picture into a paper airplane. This was another fear; Miles schemes. This was the first time we had cut it this close but I was bending under the guilt. The knowledge that my assistance helped in stealing, which hardly bothered me, but yesterday and Holly....

"It's new, I couldn't sleep all last night so I stayed up working on it."

"if they die it will be there (their) own fault.

"Look on the bright side, if we survive the day I have something else for you." I glared and stood up, "Better than this?" I lifted up the case.

"I don't know what could be better than that." He said in a way that seemed sarcastic but I wasn't sure. "I think the right question to ask is, will you think it's better?" He paused as I touched the auditorium doors. "The answer to that question would be, yes" He finished, I pivoted on my heels.

Hi there!

I'm here to review as requested.

I like the relationship you are building here between Miles and Renee. It makes me want to read on a figure out what's going on between them. It seems confusing at times, but I'm sure that's only because Renee is confused by it all too.

Comments/Suggestion/Critiques:

The tall triangle point of a steeple, a round bell that loyally chimed every hour, and in front of the church a barbed wire fence, and a park with large oak trees.

Which brought me back to here. The second theater in our old beaten school, Miles had told me to wait here

Hello.

I had a bit of a hard time reading this. It started from your beginning, with the line "I woke up again." What is the 'again'? Because you haven't given any sort of prelude to this, you should cut 'again' out. It implies she has been doing actions we should know about, when we have no way of knowing about them (since this is the beginning of the story). The remainder of the paragraph didn't really grab my interest. It was description I'd rather skim to get to something interesting going on in the story. Despite the description being beautiful, it needs to have something special about it for readers not to skim it over, or worse, not read the story. Beginnings need to hook readers in order to have them continue reading the story. This article goes into more detail on beginnings.

You also add in a lot of details, such as the character's looks. Most of them we don't really need. Descriptions of how the person looks can often be cut. This article goes into more detail about unneeded information.

Also, something else that really bothered me was how you come out that the MC is going to save the world in paragraph three. So far, we have no emotional connection to the MC, no reason to care about the world, no investment in the story what so ever. I read that she was a destined hero and rolled my eyes, because of how cliche a "destined hero" has become. In order to make that work, the revelation of who she is needs to be a lot farther away from the beginning. The reason I say this is the story needs to have hooked us before you start venturing into cliche-territory.

I'd do this by actually showing the scenes with her grandfather instead of just summarizing them. Right now, her backstory is shoved on us at the beginning, and it's all summery of what's happened in the past. Readers want to find out what's going on in the present. By showing her time with her grandfather, that important part of her life becomes the present. Therefore, readers are more interested.

Another option is to have her go off and do what she has to do, and slowly cluing us in on who she is without the massive info-dump. My rule of thumb is to only reveal backstory as needed in the story. Something happens that makes readers wonder what happened in the past, and there's a short explanation that is just enough to answer the question. No more. Sometimes, though, you can get away with not answering the question completely. If done correctly, not giving enough information is a great reason to keep readers interested.

Overall, I'd really focus on making this interesting. You have some okay bones here, but we need to be emotionally invested in the story before you start loading readers with a bunch of information we are very likely to forget once the paragraph's over.

Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions or comments!

~Rosey

I liked this story. Because JulNoWriMo is now running, this review is mostly grammar and mechanics. I do like your descriptive writing in the first section, though.

#00FF00 ">Green is added text
#FF0000 ">Red is deleted text
#FFFF00 ">Yellow is replaced text
#FF8000 ">Orange is spelling and capitalization
#0000FF ">Blue is notes

I woke up again, as a spoonful of rain fell from the branch above me. The last cold bead of rain ran down my cheeks like a tear, leaving a trail as it finally fell from my face to the dewy grass. I sighed. I needed my sleep, but there was no way I was going to get it with the light drizzle from the leftover rain falling on my face. It would be wise to clean up after last night’s storm. I hugged the soft bark of the tree - my arms #FF8000 ">barely able to go half way around - enjoying the only thing close to sleep I was going to get.

I sadly let go and crawled #0000FF ">(Is this the word you want to use?) across the wet grass over to the nearby brook. The sun pulled free of the branches and shone on the water, sparkling and dancing as if it were alive. I peered over into the stream of rocks and pebbles, gems of the forest, on top of the water a girl looked up at me #0000FF ">(phrasing is a tad awkward).

Through the crystal clear water#00FF00 ">, her long, dark brown#00FF00 ">, almost#00FF00 ">-black hair hung like a thin, dirty shield over her shoulders that framed her oval face nicely. Her blue but #0000FF ">(misspelling, or do you mean "her blue, yet dressy tunic), dressy tunic brought out her starry#00FF00 ">, sapphire#00FF00 ">-blue eyes that glared into the water. A small sprinkle of freckles made a line over her nose and cheeks. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

The only thing that would betray her for what she was#FF0000 ">, remained hidden under a brown glove on her right hand; a star constellation, a triangle, an Elvin mark. I removed the strings and ties that kept my glove from coming off to easily. The simmering mirror image of the star constellation Balance seemed to smile up at me.

I remember when I was young; I used to compare it with the night sky. Points and destinations littered across a big black blanket. My grandfather would have told me, “You are confusing the night sky with a map.” I smiled then sighed. My grandfather; he was the one who had been preparing me about the purpose of my existence. The one I had to fulfill and would determine the fate of my race, the Elvin people over the Humans, my destiny. #0000FF ">(What are you trying to get across? It's awkwardly written.)

I easily recalled learning this a long time ago#00FF00 ">, when I was still young.#FF0000 ">...... It seemed as if I had always lived with #FF8000 ">Grandfather#00FF00 ">. I knew in my heart that this was only true because I had existed in harmony. I lived in a place of childish innocence surrounded by peace. Before Grandfather I had lived with two other people very dear to me. Surprisingly#00FF00 ">, Grandfather#00FF00 ">'s presence brought out the temporary happiness#00FF00 ">; because#00FF00 ">, before the events that forced me to meet the aged man#00FF00 ">, my life had been happy. I closed my eyes#00FF00 ">, wincing from the pain that this memory brought me. Beginning to draw a picture with my mind#00FF00 ">, I could see his face clearly, a ring of gray hair#00FF00 ">, like a half#00FF00 ">-halo circled his head. Worry lines covered his forehead and wrinkles seemed to orchestrate over every part of his face when he smiled. He was always so happy, especially when he would look at the stars at night.

I don’t remember what he thought of them#00FF00 ">, but to me they were priceless gems worth more than anything in my possession. The only time he was unhappy was when I talked about my parents, so I didn’t mention it much, but when I did he just repeated a story about Elves and Humans.

“It started centuries ago,” he began his voice as low and everlasting as the wind. “When the world was new and full of life#00FF00 ">, everything depended on each other like the rain and tree#FF0000 ">’s#00FF00 ">: Elves and Humans needed each other for everything.” Then his face would harden, “There was the king of the Humans that corrupted the balance of the world#00FF00 ">. #FF8000 ">His name was Garin. Garin felt like he had lost everything he had and gained nothing he wanted.”

“There was also #00FF00 ">a king of the Elves named Ismalack#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">He created seven stones that were as bright as stars, so in the worst of times he could use them to restore peace by erasing the memory of the humans. He would put them in an amulet the world seemed complete as if he had returned the stars back to their proper place in the night sky. #0000FF ">(What? This sentence is confusing.) Garin found out about the Seven Stars and was furious that the Elvin king had such power. He felt threatened by him#FFFF00 ">, #FF8000 ">as if the Elvin king were planning to take over the human world. Garin formed an amulet of his own for his own gain, so when the Elves and Humans disagreed, Garin would use his amulet and the Elves would die#FFFF00 ">, #FF8000 ">not caring about the balance or if it was right. He just wanted his people to seem superior#00FF00 ">, but he was a vile and frivolous ruler and nothing good could ever come from this.”

Looking into the distance, as if he were daydreaming#00FF00 ">, #FF8000 ">Grandfather continued, “Soon after Garin created the Human Amulet a plague struck that was killing off the Humans. Even though the Elves were doing their best, Garin felt like he had been cheated and would soon be a slave to King Ismalack. Garin devised a plan so this would not happen.

#00FF00 ">"He was planning to kidnap the king’s daughter Freesia. #0000FF ">(When a new paragraph is started that is the continuation of a quote, the new paragraph begins with a quote.) She was the next heir to the throne of Etan Nogard. Night came and darkness fell on the land of Orion as if it were the apocalypse. He swiftly and sneakily entered the room of the king’s daughter only to find Ismalack himself. Garin had become furious#00FF00 ">, as his plan had been seen through; violently he killed the Elvin king in a fit of uncontrollable rage.

When he returned to his own people#00FF00 ">, he told the Humans that Ismalack was the cause of the plague and was planning on making them slaves in return for saving their lives. In the darkest hour of the Elvin people with no king#00FF00 ">, a fight soon broke out#00FF00 ">. #FF8000 ">Riots were happening in every corner wherever humans and elves were together.

Then it became a bloody, filthy war between the two mighty races, Elves the kindest #FF0000 ">creatures and most loyal race#00FF00 ">, and Humans#00FF00 ">, who wanted nothing more than to see the Elvin race as a lesser. Garin was losing the fight and wanted desperately to use the power of his own amulet, but he needed seven simple things . . . The Seven Stars. Garin gathered together his spies and discovered that King Ismalack had sent his beautiful daughter Queen Freesia to hide The Seven Stars on the night that Garin was going to kidnap her. He then sent out his eldest son Ryan as a seeker for The Seven Stars for the Humans and deployed his spies to kidnap Queen Freesia.

They returned with her but she said nothing of the Stars only that she had sent out her eldest daughter to find them, her daughter knew not where they existed only that she was the Seeker of the Seven Stars for the Elves. That is the story of the Seven Stars and the war that still goes on to this very day.” He would conclude, but that was the last time he told me the story. I recall the last thing I said to my grandfather, “I’m glad I have you#00FF00 ">, Grandfather#00FF00 ">, my parents do not know what #FF8000 ">they're missing.” I remember on that strange night, the night that changed it all, he sighed and looked away from his telescope.

“Sora,” he said, his hands trembling, “Sora#00FF00 ">, your parents died in the war, the War of The Seven Stars, now it is time for you to know the truth. You are the last descendent of Ismalack’s granddaughter the last Seeker of The Seven Stars, you’re an Elf! I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I had to protect you, if the Humans of Garin knew#00FF00 ">, they would kill you, there are only a few Elves left in this poisoned world#00FF00 ">, and you are the only Seeker.” He spoke as if it was a great secret. I knew this. I had always known this. My lies had fooled everyone, even me. He sighed, his expression near tears. Then he grabbed my shoulders, “Will you Sora, five times great-granddaughter of the Elfin King Ismalack, take up this responsibility as Seeker of the Seven?” he asked, what could I say? The world would be a better place if I succeeded, but if I failed...

“Yes#00FF00 ">, I will be the Seeker of The Seven Stars for the Elves.” I replied. This was a choice I had already decided. It was the first time I had said it vocally#00FF00 ">, and my voice held strength and surety as I said it out loud. I looked up at my grandfather and it seemed a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he closed his brown eyes. He sent me off to live with the three Elf warriors Drucco, Koren and Zoroso after that. I needed to train with the bow, sword and nature.

I remembered on those hard days of training#00FF00 ">, my parents, wincing at the pain of it. I lied to myself every day of my life since then. I never smiled anymore. Happiness was not the reason I was the Seeker. It was a birth right, a privilege, and an honor. I only lived and died for my race. There was no more room in my heart for more disappointment, more failure, and more death.

Some could call me foolish or self#00FF00 ">-centered#00FF00 ">, but they didn’t know everything. My past was a secret to everyone. I didn’t need sad faces or happy ones. I only needed hope. I saw it in the eyes of many that had already crossed my path#00FF00 ">. I saw it in the ones the truly raised me, my parents. I just lied to everyone#00FF00 ">, saying that “#FF8000 ">Grandfather” was the only person I ever knew and ever cared about. Lies, that’s what my life was. A web of lies so tattered and torn that fixing it would be impossible.

I stood feeling the squeeze of pain in my leg. Why did the burn on my leg help me remember? Memories flooded in me as I tried to push them back. Then I was swept away into the past.

“Good night Mother, good night Father,” I called from the back bedroom. It was such as happy life here on the border of the human wall.

“Good night#00FF00 ">, Sora.” They called together in the Elvin tongue. I smiled to myself as I looked up to the stars through my only window; it was big enough for me to get through if I needed it. A constellation that matched my hand to the dot looked down at me lighting my room with a comforting glow. I listened to the patter of the light rain on my roof as I drifted toward unconsciousness.

I groaned, why was it so hot? There were strange noises for the middle of the night, low anxious whispers floated to my room followed by a loud crash and whimpers. It was so different from the peaceful quiet sounds of midnight, when the wind lurked into my sleep as the only thing that disturbed my dreams. The contrast of the noise would startle anyone with alarm. I kicked my covers off of me. I listened now that I was so far from sleep. I heard strange noises for the middle of the night. I opened my eyes and sat up. I saw from my half opened door a shadow of my mother as she wept over a broken, lifeless body engulfed in flames. Another figure reached out to my mother and slapped her.

A low voice said, “We have been aware of her, just waiting, planning to attack#00FF00 ">, and now that she is just within our grasp you expect us to leave? You are too foolish to be wise#00FF00 ">, #FF8000 ">Aros. #0000FF ">(I would suggest capitalizing Aros. Even Negro was capitalized.) Now, where is she?” I was the Seeker. Why did they want me? I was useless at this young age and with no training.

I saw her flat black shadow stand and try to run.

“Guards#00FF00 ">, restrain this #FF8000 ">Aros!” #FF8000 ">the wicked man barked#00FF00 ">, using the terrible name for Elves. She ran to the opposite side of the room#00FF00 ">, so I could see her face through the door. It was bloody and tear-stained. Her face was hollow#00FF00 ">-looking, empty#00FF00 ">. #FF8000 ">It was the face of defeat. My eyes pierced into a glare at the evil man who felt it was his duty to harm such a gentle creature. Her smooth lip was bleeding and a streak of silver blood #00FF00 ">was dripping from her mouth. She never looked so old, so much in pain. The Humans had broken her from the inside by torturing and eventually killing those she loved. There was nothing left, no more tears to cry over a broken race. No more pure blood to be shed over an innocent family. No more words to say to the assassin. I did not need to open my mind to know that even if she gave up and knew there was no other choice#00FF00 ">, I had to live. She had no intention of allowing me to end the war when there was still hope.

The guards trapped her in #FF8000 ">their muscular arms. The man#FF0000 ">, who had been talking#FF0000 ">, slowly walked over to her. I could see his face; #FF8000 ">he had a long nose, deep set eyes, and a scar that lined across his profile.

“TELL ME#00FF00 ">, AROS!” she cringed away from the loud sound#FFFF00 ">. “We will hunt for her. We will never stop looking.” Her eyes flashed for a fraction of a second to my bedroom and quickly looked away. It was enough for the human #00FF00 ">to #FF8000 ">mutter, #0000FF ">(deleted new line) “Thank you, aros.” He smiled wickedly at her. Her eyes were wide with fear as she saw him advance to my bedroom.

“NO!” she screamed, “RUN#00FF00 ">, SORA#00FF00 ">, RUN!” she chanted.

I toppled off my bed #00FF00 ">and onto the hard floor as my wooden door slammed open. My breathing was heavy#00FF00 ">, #FF0000 ">and my hands felt around the wooden floor#00FF00 ">, and I was blind in my own haven. I felt the wall as my fingers crawled up it trying to find a way out. I slowly clamped my hand to the edge of the open window right as a big hard hand grabbed me and twisted my leg in the wrong direction. My hands and arms were sharply pulled as my elevated body slammed onto the ground. I fell on my arm, my elbow pushing into my navel as heavy weight from the killer’s body drove my bone deeper into my body. A piercing scream echoed in the house#00FF00 ">, making my toes curl#FFFF00 ">. I thrashed my body as my ears suffered the intense sound. Only then realized it was me.

“Stop running#00FF00 ">, young Seeker,” The harsh voice lured, “Come and live with humans and rid the world of the stars.” I heard the lies in his voice.

“No! No! I will never disrupt the balance! You can keep killing us#00FF00 ">; it will be the end of you! Stop!” I shrieked. My air was becoming thinner now; it grew harder to draw in a breath. My chest pushed harder. I knew that this discomfort was only because my body was being squeezed to allow for more pain.

“Hard words for an #FF8000 ">Aros#FFFF00 ">,” He commented. Then there was heat. It was overwhelming on my right leg. I looked over my shoulder and it was aflame. He was burning me alive!

“Antros!” A woman called from where my mother was. The savage Human turned around, lifting his body off me and allowing me to breathe. My chance was dependent on the energy #FF8000 ">my already exhausted body had left. I rolled over to the edge of the window, grateful for the freedom from my pursuer. The already open window was only a few inches from me. I hauled myself up climbing over with one leg and jumping out onto the dirt behind a shrub. As I laid my head down on the shaded part of the house#00FF00 ">, I heard the dying screams of my mother fading into the #0000FF ">(What?). I woke later a dawn crawling with my badly burnt leg out of the shrub. I could feel the broken bones and feel the coolness of my silver blood pooling on the ground. My mouth filled with dirt and it still being night I knew it was too late. I couldn’t save her and I couldn’t move. I used all the energy I could muster to lift by body up. I fell, my arms landing to my sides. Again I fell into a deep sleep.

I yanked myself out of the memory as another raindrop fell on my nose from the long branch of the Aspen tree over the brook. I stood - tied my glove back on #0000FF ">(insert space) - and smel#FF8000 ">led the sweet smell of after #00FF00 ">a rain. It was like wet bark with a hint of forget-me-not. I heard a movement in the brush, this was a Human.

Then he emerged from a bush, his face covered in leaves, sweat, and dirt. Beads of rain dripped down his dark brown, shaggy hair. His warrior#00FF00 ">-like tunic was black and I could see his muscles pushing the cloth. His blue eyes#00FF00 ">, light as the sky#00FF00 ">, looked around quickly like a scared little rabbit. His rounded nose and pale skin made his small lips blend well. His eyes darting around quickly made me nervous of this tall, male, Human. I drew my sword.

“Who are you?” I asked, his eyes were wild as I took a step closer.

“Speak#00FF00 ">, stranger from the east!” I yelled. He smirked,

“I am Tobin.” Then I saw it, on his neck, the Human Amulet. I wasn’t foolish enough to wear it on my neck like a prize. It was under my tunic unseen by all.

“And you are?” Tobin asked#00FF00 ">, fumbling with his gold handled sword. I swiftly walked up to him an in an instant his neck was touching the side of my silver sword.

“I am Sora and I am only who I appear to be.” I replied.

“This is not the time for shedding of blood #00FF00 ">,perhaps we could postpone this to a later date#FFFF00 ">,” #FF8000 ">he said coolly.

“” I whispered. I fe#FF8000 ">lt giant tremors from the ground shake my body, only which could be caused from trolls.

“Who are you running from?” I asked, though I knew the answer#FFFF00 ">.

“Trolls.”

“Why?”

“I happened to cross the#FF8000 ">ir path#FFFF00 ">.” I released him; he wasn’t giving any valuable information.

I opened my mind. It was a gift I was born with as most of my people are. Others do not have very dramatic gifts. I had the chance to see into peoples thoughts, into the#FF8000 ">ir mind. I rarely used it after I had learned to control it. It seemed second nature to me, almost like breathing or blinking. It was the first time I had looked inside a human mind. Sora…she sounds familiar almost like I’ve heard the name before…It do#FF8000 ">es not matter. I wonder how she is. I hope she is safe. I need to go back; I need to be brave like her…

I tried to understand the jumble of thoughts the flowed through his mind. The only one I could decipher was where he needed to go back to. Trolls did not attack unless someone had attacked #FFFF00 ">them first. The only place I had proof of him returning to was the Trolls.

“Trolls should not be that hard to find#00FF00 ">, just try to keep up.” I said answering his unsaid thought#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">Closing my mind#00FF00 ">, I sprinted past Tobin and went the way he came.

The trees were blocking the sun#00FF00 ">, so it was cool underneath the canopy. My steps were quiet under the earth as I ran#00FF00 ">, but Tobin’s were loud and I could tell he was behind me on my left side.

We slowed down to a walk and looked around a bush to see a troll not two feet from us; its skin was a murky green color and muddy#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">It was a life sized rock expanding with every breath. Insects gathered around its head#00FF00 ">, landing #FF8000 ">wherever the slimy green skin showed. It raised its arm to swat away some flies#00FF00 ">, revealing a filthy stench coming from it#FF0000 ">'s under arm. I heard a twig break behind me#00FF00 ">, then the mass of rock turned around. I ducked into the bush#00FF00 ">, grabbing Tobin’s tunic#00FF00 ">, and observing the beast through the branches. It had a large head with yellow teeth and yellow eyes. The teeth were like upside down fangs, like dusty yellow daggers waiting for action#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">It drooled out a black liquid and stank a smell so fo#FF8000 ">ul I had to hold my breath. It was fat around the wa#FF8040 ">ist and a black cloth, a lot like the drool color, covered its lower body. Its hands were as big as an adult human’s head and its dirty unclipped fingernails #0000FF ">(one word) grasped a thick club, sharp and heavy#00FF00 ">-looking. It bent down#00FF00 ">, sniffing the bush with its large nose; the yellow beady eyes scanned the forest.

The stench of its mass was unbearable. I could not hold my breath any longer. I looked at Tobin and his face was a pale blue-green color, the odor and the lack of air showed clearly on his face. I was certain it was the same for me. Tobin’s end was coming, I could feel it. He was going to give in#00FF00 ">, and when he did the monster would know. I clutched the hard handle of the sword#00FF00 ">, waiting to strike. Then a high-pitched, ear-piercing shriek, loud enough to make me cringe against the bush#00FF00 ">, came from the opposite direction. The troll’s long, boney ears twitched and it moved away, slowly walking and dragging its club on the ground behind it.

Tobin was coughing and gasping beside me, “I’m sorry,” he said in between coughs, “It was my fault.” looked down at him as he said that, sticks were matting down his dark brown hair. He smiled apologetically. I looked away.

I stumbled out of the overgrown #0000FF ">(one word) bush and looked around the small clearing. It was big enough for two or three massive Troll’s like the one Tobin and I had just encountered. I heard a buzzing on my left and looked to see a pair of dead rabbits bleeding on the fertile green grass. The flies#00FF00 ">' feast was not something I wanted to see. I looked away from the horde of flies to Tobin, #00FF00 ">and with the sick face he was making#00FF00 ">, I inferred that it was the Trolls interrupted meal he was looking at.

Something with the softest pressure touched my boot. I looked down and picked up a piece of paper with lines and squares all over it. A map? The Troll was out of sight#00FF00 ">, but not out of hearing. I could still make out its grunt with every step.

“That was a scout#FFFF00 ">,” I whispered#00FF00 ">. “If we follow him, he might lead us to what you are looking for.” I looked away from the map. He grabbed it from me and studied over it, his eyes scanning every detail like a hawk locked onto its prey#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">He handed it back.

I folded up the map and put it in with my quiver of arrows#FFFF00 ">.

“Let’s go#FFFF00 ">,” I said feeling a small smile spread on my face. That was a first#00FF00 ">. I hadn’t smiled since…I looked at a tree to forget the thought#FFFF00 ">. #FF8000 ">The smile #00FF00 ">now gone from my face, I could feel my bitter mask reforming. Then I walked out of the clearing with Tobin by my side.