Young Writers Society

With tunes, this song itself is good enough to win a Grammy. It sounds like a song with good lyrics. Unfortunately, the tune's not there. You could try setting a tune to this one and give a performance.

I think this was very good I didn't notice any 'break's, where the others did. I like the last line.

Great job

I’m living the moment,
The moment is now. (I actually liked that part a lot)
I loudly applaud, as you take a bow.
You’re a marvelous actor,
You’re great at pretend,
A romance, with a tragic end. *this part breaks the flow, I think to make it right you have to add at least one syllable to the last line-I would have gone with "A romance with a tragedy end"
They give you a Grammy,
I watch from my seat,
A standing ovation, I rise to my feet.
I cannot complain,
You mastered your part,
Although it’s ‘break a leg’ - not heart. *This part also breaks in flow...I think it should be "Although it's 'break a leg' not 'break a heart'*

I like this poem a lot overall. Brilliantly written. Where did you get the idea?

Pretty good

"I’m living the moment,
The moment is now. "
This part sounded redundant as you've already implied the second line in the first line.

"A romance, with a tragic end. "
That comma really interrupts the flow of the poem.

"Although it’s ‘break a leg’ - not heart."
This reads like it needs an "a" after "not." Not sure if there should be one though.

I loved your rhythym, and it's actually quite funny in a dark (though, the light side of dark) humor way. All in all, I really liked it.