Young Writers Society



The Revenge

by Jamie_rocks


Okay, so this is the edited version of preface I submitted about a year ago and haven't touched since then. I wrote it today while I was waiting to be picked up from school, so I'm sure there are so problems I haven't caught yet. Please give constructive response, so I can fix it up and make it better.

Preface

The Monster

Annie Arballo stood knee deep in the tossing waves, not noticing the wetness or the cold chill they brought with them, not feeling the icy wind that whipped her hair around her head and made her oversized t-shirt flutter and snap against her. She was aware only of the horrifying scene taking place less then ten feet out lake, causing the waves that slapped into her bare legs again and again. She wished it were cloudy, too dark to see the nightmare that she could not force herself to look away from, but the full moon shone down mercilessly from a clear night sky, illuminating with perfect clarity everything that she did not want to see, the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

She would have given anything to be bigger, older, stronger, able to help her big brother fight this monster off, the way he had helped her so many times, but her small body stayed rooted in place. Even if she could have forced a response from her frozen muscles, it would have done no good. There was nothing else she could do now, except draw the monster’s attention to her and face the same terrible fate her brother was facing. There was nothing anyone could do now, even the faint sirens in the distance growing rapidly louder as they raced to help. They would be too late.

Annie did not realize she was screaming until her throat ached and all she could manage was a choked whisper of denial, did not know she was crying until she tasted the salt on her tongue. Already Mike had stopped coming up for air. The churning water slowed down as his struggles to stay alive grew weaker. Above the surface of the water, the monster Annie had not known existed bared her teeth, and the moonlight made it too easy to see the wild light in her eyes, that animalistic frenzy that lent strength to her muscles and dominated any rational thoughts. The monster's terrible excitement grew, peaked, and dimmed, as the struggles of the ten year old boy under the water grew feeble, and ultimately stopped.

This was a bad night to have a good imagination. Annie stared into the dark water, imagining she could see Mike’s body, bloated, purple lips, sinking deeper into the lake. In her mind she could see the long tendrils of weeds reaching up, pulling him down into their depths… She shuddered and looked up, locking eyes with the monster, who finally seemed to have come back to her surroundings enough to hear the now-deafening sirens, see the little girl standing almost within reach.

For a second, the monster reached out to Annie, confusions and disbelief clear in her eyes, her fingers curled into claws. Annie flinched away from her, praying the sirens would arrive before the monster could kill her, too. The monster saw Annie shrink away and dropped her hands, a spasm of pain shooting across her face. With a brief look to the east, where the flashing red and blue lights of an ambulance and two police cars were finally visible on the horizon, she turned and splashed deeper into the lake.

Annie thought she heard the monster exhale before plunging deep into the black water, making waves break against Annie’s legs again, and raising goosebumps on the already icy skin. By the time the sirens arrived, the water was as flat and calm as black glass, reflecting the peaceful moon in a starry sky. Annie’s mother did not resurface.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
3848 Reviews


Points: 209766
Reviews: 3848

Donate
Mon Dec 05, 2022 5:54 pm
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Annie Arballo stood knee deep in the tossing waves, not noticing the wetness or the cold chill they brought with them, not feeling the icy wind that whipped her hair around her head and made her oversized t-shirt flutter and snap against her. She was aware only of the horrifying scene taking place less then ten feet out lake, causing the waves that slapped into her bare legs again and again. She wished it were cloudy, too dark to see the nightmare that she could not force herself to look away from, but the full moon shone down mercilessly from a clear night sky, illuminating with perfect clarity everything that she did not want to see, the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

She would have given anything to be bigger, older, stronger, able to help her big brother fight this monster off, the way he had helped her so many times, but her small body stayed rooted in place. Even if she could have forced a response from her frozen muscles, it would have done no good. There was nothing else she could do now, except draw the monster’s attention to her and face the same terrible fate her brother was facing. There was nothing anyone could do now, even the faint sirens in the distance growing rapidly louder as they raced to help. They would be too late.


Well this is a very powerful note to be starting on. I don't believe I've seen too many stories starting off like this with someone having to helplessly watch frozen in what seems to be quite a bit of terror as they have to watch someone they love get torn apart a bit by whatever creature happens to be attacking them in this particular moment.

Annie did not realize she was screaming until her throat ached and all she could manage was a choked whisper of denial, did not know she was crying until she tasted the salt on her tongue. Already Mike had stopped coming up for air. The churning water slowed down as his struggles to stay alive grew weaker. Above the surface of the water, the monster Annie had not known existed bared her teeth, and the moonlight made it too easy to see the wild light in her eyes, that animalistic frenzy that lent strength to her muscles and dominated any rational thoughts. The monster's terrible excitement grew, peaked, and dimmed, as the struggles of the ten year old boy under the water grew feeble, and ultimately stopped.

This was a bad night to have a good imagination. Annie stared into the dark water, imagining she could see Mike’s body, bloated, purple lips, sinking deeper into the lake. In her mind she could see the long tendrils of weeds reaching up, pulling him down into their depths… She shuddered and looked up, locking eyes with the monster, who finally seemed to have come back to her surroundings enough to hear the now-deafening sirens, see the little girl standing almost within reach.


Oh wow, that description really got a lot more powerful than I was expecting it to get and you really haven't held back at all as far as the horror aspect of things is concerned. I love the way you've gone about things there. I think you've really done a wonderful job of conveying the raw power of this creature and the sheer terror its so clearly instilling in this poor girl here whose now had the horror of watching her brother be torn apart like that.

For a second, the monster reached out to Annie, confusions and disbelief clear in her eyes, her fingers curled into claws. Annie flinched away from her, praying the sirens would arrive before the monster could kill her, too. The monster saw Annie shrink away and dropped her hands, a spasm of pain shooting across her face. With a brief look to the east, where the flashing red and blue lights of an ambulance and two police cars were finally visible on the horizon, she turned and splashed deeper into the lake.

Annie thought she heard the monster exhale before plunging deep into the black water, making waves break against Annie’s legs again, and raising goosebumps on the already icy skin. By the time the sirens arrived, the water was as flat and calm as black glass, reflecting the peaceful moon in a starry sky. Annie’s mother did not resurface.


Oh wow that one really pulls a rug right out under our feet there. I did not expect the monster to actually be this person's mother. Wow, that definitely pulls one over you as a reader. A very powerful moment in this piece. I have to say I couldn't have predicted that all, but now that we get that little bit of a reveal suddenly it all seems much more powerful and visceral here. Overall a very strong bit of horror this one.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 52

Donate
Wed May 20, 2009 2:19 am
Jamie_rocks says...



Yes. Like I said, I'll clarify that later, but this is just a secondary project and I really don't have the time right now. I'm just collecting input so that I'll have some ready when I finish with my current novel and restart on this one. ANd thanks for the good marks! :)




User avatar
143 Reviews


Points: 3793
Reviews: 143

Donate
Mon May 18, 2009 11:17 pm
LovelessSummer says...



well first of all im confused is annies mother the monster? just asking other than that i think you did i pretty good job i liked it alot :P ^^




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 52

Donate
Mon May 18, 2009 8:36 pm
Jamie_rocks says...



Anyone? Please I need feedback!




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 52

Donate
Thu May 07, 2009 3:01 am
Jamie_rocks says...



Okay, thanks you guys so much for all your effort. I know I'm really horrible with typos and run-on sentences; my critiquers get on my back about it all the time. I'll fix it up, but right now I'm at school, so this probably isn't the best time...

Anyways, thanks for all the input, and I'll be sure to do all those things when I rewrite.

Oh, and no trouble with the belated review. You real life is more important than my story's review.




User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 1188
Reviews: 38

Donate
Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:03 pm
JordanEmert says...



Hey Jamie!
I'm Jordan and I'll be your critique.
I thought it was a very good beginning of a terrific story.
The only thing I thought you needed to add a better description of the monster.
Other than that, pretty good!

-- Jordan




User avatar
107 Reviews


Points: 803
Reviews: 107

Donate
Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:55 am
fluteluvr77 wrote a review...



Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!!! I know this review is EXTREMELY late, but life was hectic lately I could've sworn I reviewed this too...And, I thought I was done until you reposted. So, sorry!!! :oops:

:arrow: Characterization - Alright, I know this is just the preface, so I'm only gonna concentrate on your MC, Annie. She seems extremely flat, which bothers me. What exactly is she scared of? There's nothing she could do. Mmhmm...That seems like you're blatantly telling us that. Why does she feel that way? I know that I can be scared in different ways. Sometimes I'm just weak, and not brave. There's a dramatic difference in this when comparing it to just being helpless. It would be nice to see which one Annie is. Another thing is why she's not feeling guilt. At the moment, I'm not a big fan of your MC. And that's not good at all. I would like to sympathize with her a lot more than I do right now. This is mainly because she abandoned her brother, with barely a second thought. That makes me think that she's quite evil. Make her feel that guilt. Make it like she's ripping her heart out by not saving her brother. Simply put, make us sympathize with her not hate her. Ya?

:arrow: Descriptions - Pretty good job here. I just felt that the descriptions were too clumped together and telling not showing. Like your first paragraph is all description then it all dies out. I think you have all the descriptions you need just...spread it out a little more. Don't tell us about her clothes there. Just describe the scenery. Then, as the waves lap by her legs, talk about how she shivers in her t-shirt. 'Cause, this way, we aren't getting a load of information, which we lose track of. Descriptions are extremely important, but how you write them are even more so. Right now, I can totally picture the scene at teh beginning. But, as the story goes on, I picture it less and less. This is because I'm getting a lot of plot. However, I'm not getting enough imagery in the middle and end. So, I lose that wondrous picture in my mind. So, just spread out the descriptions, 'kay?

:arrow: Mood - Eh. This bothers me because there's too much telling and not enough showing. You say that she would've given anything to save her brother. But, this would be a lot more dramatic if you showed it. Show us the pain she's feeling over having to abandon her brother. Maybe compare the feeling to walking over broken glass. Then, show us how fear overcomes this. Maybe it was a battle between her heart (telling her to stay with her brother) and her brain (telling her to run). Show us her internal struggles. Then, tell us how she just cna't help him. This would greatly enhance the fearful mood that you develop later in the story.

:arrow: Overall - nice job! I'm a big fan of horror-ish stories, so I loved this. Sorry for the extremely slow review, and thanks for using my thread darling. :D




User avatar
158 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 158

Donate
Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:21 pm
Lauren says...



Okay, I stand corrected! :*)
I'll admit now that I've never seen a lake in my entire life.




User avatar
127 Reviews


Points: 4299
Reviews: 127

Donate
Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:07 pm
Incognito says...



Lauren, I shall correct you.
I live right near a lake, Lake Ontario to be exact, and trust me, there is a tide, and the waves can get extremely large thought not enough to surf on or relatively as big as the waves in the ocean. Our tides come relatively seasonal, so there isn't necessarily a repeative tide. And it would not be called seaweed, but in lakes, depending on where you are, you can get plants that grow in the lake and can get quite annoying.

~Incognito




User avatar
158 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 158

Donate
Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:00 pm
Lauren wrote a review...



Hello! I don't think I've seen you around before, but I'm Lauren. I'll try to give as helpful an input as I can. x]
I critique as I read and then conclude at the bottom.

Annie Arballo cool name, memorable enough stood knee deep in the tossing waves, not noticing the wetness or the cold chill they brought with them,I think it starts to get a bit elongated here. Maybe another sentence? not feeling the icy wind that whipped her hair around her head and made her oversized t-shirt flutter and snap against her. All good but maybe too many adjectives--however, it isn't overkill yet! She was aware only of the horrifying scene taking place less then ten feet out lake, For impact, I'd have ended the sentence there. causing the waves that slapped into her bare legs again and again. She wished it were cloudy, and too dark to see the nightmare [s]that[/s] she could not force herself to look away from, but the full moon shone down mercilessly from a clear night sky, illuminating with perfect clarity everything that she did not want to see, the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Last bit somewhat cliched!


She would have given anything to be bigger, older, stronger, and able to help her big brother fight this monster off comma the way he had helped her so many times, but her small body stayed rooted in place. Even if she could have forced a response from her frozen muscles, it would have done no good. Like, like, like! There was nothing else she could do now, except draw the monster’s attention to her and face the same terrible fate her brother was facing. There was nothing anyone could do now, even the sirens in the distance growing rapidly louder as they raced to help. They would be too late. This is a skillful closure, full of impact and tension


Annie did not realize she was screaming until her throat ached and all she could manage was a choked whisper of denial, blah! please stop the run-on sentences did not know she was crying until she tasted the salt on her tongue. Already Mike suddenly he has a name had stopped coming up for air. The churning water slowed down as his struggles to stay alive grew weaker. Above the surface of the water, the monster Annie had not known existed bared her teeth, and the moonlight made it too easy to see the wild light in her eyes, that animalistic frenzy that lent strength to her muscles and dominated any rational thoughts. The terrible excitement grew, peaked, and dimmed, as the struggles of the ten year old boy under the water grew feeble, and ultimately stopped.


This was a bad night to have a good imagination. Annie stared into the dark water, imagining she could see Mike’s body, dash, not comma bloated, with purple lips, sinking deeper into the lake wait a minute, I thought they were in the sea? lakes don't have waves, long tendrils of seaweed if it is a lake... I could be wrong, but do you get seaweed in lakes? Maybe you mean reeds? reaching up, pulling him down into their depths… She shuddered and looked up, locking eyes with the monster, who finally seemed to have come back to her surroundings enough to hear the now-deafening sirens, seeing the little girl standing almost within reach.


For a second, the monster reached out to Annie, confusion[s]s[/s] and disbelief clear in her eyes, her fingers curled into claws. Annie flinched away from her, praying the sirens would arrive before the monster could kill her, too. The monster saw Annie shrink away and dropped her hands, a spasm of pain shooting across her face. With a brief look to the east, where the flashing red and blue lights were finally visible on the horizon, she turned and splashed deeper into the lake.


Annie thought she heard the monster exhale before plunging deep into the black water, making waves break against Annie’s legs again, and raising Gwhy the capital letter?oosebumps on the already icy skin. By the time the sirens arrived, the water was as flat and calm as black glass, reflecting the peaceful moon in a starry sky. Annie’s mother did not resurface.



Good! Very atmospheric, tense, and exciting. Biggest faults: sentences dragged, not enough variation in that respect and a slight tendency to overdo it on the adjective front. But otherwise splendid, with the right combination of description and action.
I think you need to decide whether this is lake or sea. I'm guessing lake, seeing as how you mentioned it a few times. However, lakes don't have a tide and thus not waves--I think! I'm pretty certain there's no seaweed in lakes, as well. But do correct if I'm wrong, please.

Thanks for the lovely read.

Regards,
Lauren 8)




User avatar
127 Reviews


Points: 4299
Reviews: 127

Donate
Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:26 pm
Incognito wrote a review...



Hello there!
I am just going to take a quick gander at this story. I am interested. ;)

I. Nit-Picking

Annie Arballo stood knee deep in the tossing waves, not noticing the wetness or the cold chill they brought with them, not feeling the icy wind that whipped her hair around her head and made her oversized t-shirt flutter and snap against her.


This is an awfully long sentence, fairly run-on if you ask me. I recommend spliting the sentence into two sentences so that it will seem less over done and make it more fluent, connecting the other part of the paragraph to it also.

You also use 'her' a lot. I know you can't really replace that with much, but try to make it more varied. Like here is the perfect chance to add some description, like saying 'the girl' or 'woman' anything that will help the reader get an idea of what she looks like in the process. This also helps with avoiding infor dumping.

less then ten feet out lake,


I believe you may be missing 'in' or another word because otherwise the sentence might not make much sense and gets the reader confused.

causing the waves that slapped into her bare legs again and again.


I would rephrase this becuase even though it does make sense, it can get almost hazardous for the reader to miss a word and half to back-track like I myself had to do.
For example;
'causing the waves to slap against her bare legs over and over again.

She wished it were cloudy, too dark to see the nightmare


I see what you are going for here, but again I would rephrase that because it took me a couple minutes to figure out that there wasn't really an error with the wishing part. I thought you were describing the dark.
For example;
'She wished it were cloudy so that it would be too dark to see the nightmare'

She wished it were cloudy, too dark to see the nightmare that she could not force herself to look away from, but the full moon shone down mercilessly from a clear night sky, illuminating with perfect clarity everything that she did not want to see, the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life.


Just to let you know, this is again getting quite run on. That whole thing is one sentence which is way to long. I would refrain from using too many commas in a sentence. Don't go past maybe 3 depending on the circumstances. I recommend making this into more sentences. ;)

Annie did not realize she was screaming until her throat ached and all she could manage was a choked whisper of denial, did not know she was crying until she tasted the salt on her tongue.


I would rather have the comma a period and for you to start off the sentence with 'She'. That is the same reasons as before, your sentences are extremely long.

Above the surface of the water, the monster Annie had not known existed bared her teeth,


I thought I would not have had to do this, but you are missing appropriate commas here.
For example;
'Above the surface of the water, the monster, which Annie had not known existed, bared her teeth'
I would also recommend saying 'its' instead of 'her' because it gives it more of an effect even though I understand that the mother is the monster.

Above the surface of the water, the monster Annie had not known existed bared her teeth, and the moonlight made it too easy to see the wild light in her eyes, that animalistic frenzy that lent strength to her muscles and dominated any rational thoughts.


After 'bared her teeth', I would end the sentence there and make the appropriate changes to make the other part into a sentence.

Also, after
that animalistic frenzy

I would place a comma.

The terrible excitement grew, peaked, and dimmed, as the struggles of the ten year old boy under the water grew feeble, and ultimately stopped.


Is this the monsters excitement? I would like you to specify that in the piece. Make sure the reader knows what you are talking about. That is crucial.

Mike’s body,


The comma should be a semi-colon because you are about to list characteristics after you revealed what you were describing.

bloated, purple lips, sinking deeper into the lake, long tendrils of seaweed reaching up, pulling him down into their depths…


This part seems incredibly awkward for me because there is so many commas and not many words in between. I would add some additional words to avoid confusion.

who finally seemed to have come back to her surroundings enough to hear the now-deafening sirens


I do not know what you mean by this. Do you mean that the monster had been lost in the ecstacy of killing and just realized that there was trouble coming?

see the little girl standing almost within reach.


There should be a 'to' before this line. xD

praying the sirens


I would describe the sirens a bit more. The only reason why is that when you say sirens I think of the mystical creatures that are called sirens. Be specific. Are they police sirens? Firemen sirens? Ambulance sirens? All three?

exhale


The only thing I have to comment on is, should this be inhale? Because before people dive into a lake they inhale to hold a breath. Or do you mean exhale, that the monster was trying to drown itself so it let out its own breath?

and raising Goosebumps on the already icy skin.


I would get rid of 'and' because I am pretty sure 'and' is not supposed to come after a comma, only for some exception.

I also think that 'goosebumps' shouldn't be capitalized.

Annie’s mother did not resurface.


I would change 'Annie's mother' to 'the monster' because I believe that since this is only a preface, revealing that the monster was Annie's mother would make a great twist in future chapters.

Otherwise this was an effective ending.

II. Grammer and Punctuation

You grammer was spectacular. I was incredibly impressed. I found no errors with them, and mind, you vocabulary is great for your age. You have to be careful though using the pronoun 'her'. You could have used Annie's name more, or saying 'the monster's' when describing the monster's actions. That was an occurence I noticed. I would also have liked for you to say a different word for sirens, maybe describing it like 'the endless wailing' or something. I would also like you to specify what sirens. ;)

Your punctuation was great. You had some moments when you needed commas and moments when you did not, but commas are tricky business and I am still not perfect with them myself.

You also had one mess up with capitalization. That doesn't matter, but be careful with that king of thing.

III. Character Development.

I really like Annie's character. She seemed like the person I would personally like to hang around. The only comment I would like to make is that I would have loved you to give more description of the character for I had no idea what she looked like. I had to figure it out using tiny clues that weren't very helpful like 'little'. That made me guess young. What was her age by the way?

You have to be careful when describing characters also for you do not want to info dump it and keep it logical.

I would have liked to see dialogue, but dialogue is not need in a preface so I am okay and I would dwell on that much.

I would have also liked you to describe her mother better also. I believe that you should have decribed what the monster looked like because the reader certainly had no clue. Decribing things not necessarily resembling humans is complicated, I understand, but it is necessary.

IV. Writing Format.

Your writing was beautiful. I absolutely adored it. You can blend words together greatly but there was one continuous happening that kind of got on my nerves. Your sentences.

Your sentences were getting extremely long. You have to be careful. You probably think really quickly like myself and you just want to get everything out as quickly as possible, yet you tend to have extensive sentences. If you see this happening, the remedy is simple. Just break the sentence into two or three. Do it logically too. If you have to move things around, do so because if you do not it could take effect away from the story.

The menacing nature in this story was entertaining, but I would have loved you to use more sinister adjectives and adverbs to add to the flaring emotions and alarm in this piece. It is ultimately a sad idea that the mother was the monster, but you have to see it. Give it emotion with your writing.

Otherwise, some of your description was great. I really did like it.

V. Overall.

Your plot line in this was creative and ingrenious. I loved the idea and it certainly was mesmorizing. It kept my attention all the way through. You portrayed it well, and I believe this length was good for a preface, and a great length for critiquers like me. ;)

Few things I do have to comment on is that water can't be manipulated so easily with just one child being drowned. His struggles wouldn't make much of a difference. Also near the end, the lake wouldn't have stilled so quickly unless there is some odd explanation for that that I do not know.

I was also alarmed at the sirens logic. You said that she could hear them, but still they took so long to come near and even at the end you made an impression that they were still far away, and if they were that far away then the sound would not travel that far. I would recommend describing at some points how loud the wailing of the sirens actually are.

Otherwise, this was a very good piece and I would love to read more of your work.
~Incognito




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 52

Donate
Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:52 am
Jamie_rocks says...



Okay thanks. And I guess I should clarify on one point in the piece - the monster is her mother. I'll try and make that clearer as soon as I can, but it's late on my end and I have to get off soon, so not tonight.

I'll fix the typos right away though. There was supposed to be a comma there




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 52

Donate
Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:51 am
Jamie_rocks says...



Okay thanks. And I guess I should clarify on one point in the piece - the monster is her mother. I'll try and make that clearer as soon as I can, but it's late on my end and I have to get off soon, so not tonight.

I'll fix the typos right away though. There was supposed to be a comma there




User avatar
51 Reviews


Points: 3101
Reviews: 51

Donate
Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:10 am
Mira wrote a review...



Hiyas, Jamie! I'm Saphire! :)

This was really good. I was totally hooked and was completely scared for Annie. Oh, well... Here goes the critique!

Annie Arballo stood knee deep in the tossing waves, not noticing the wetness or the cold chill they brought with them not feeling the icy wind that whipped her hair around her head and made her oversized t-shirt flutter and snap against her.


I think if you add some sort of break between 'the brought with them' and 'not feeling the icy wind', then it would make a big more sense. Perhaps a comma?

Annie’s mother did not resurface.


This confused me. Wasn't it her brother that had drowned?

:arrow: Characters: Annie was a very well-developed character! You portrayed her very well.

:arrow: Description: Amazing description! I felt as if I was there, watching the scene play out. *shivers* Not a place I'd want to be, but still, good job! Perhaps, though, if you added a little bit about how they got in that position, then a little bit of confusion could be put aside.

:arrow: Plot: Very good plot and very interesting. I was mesmerized the entire time.

:arrow: Overall: Very, very good! I was a bit confused at first as to how they were attacked at the beginning, but I managed to lose the confusion and fill up with fear as I read on. This was a really good piece, though. Please PM me if there are any other parts of this. :)

Smiles!

@;~ Saph





Your presence can give happiness. I hope you remember that.
— Jin, BTS