z

Young Writers Society



barbe-à-papa

by Liz


plastic nostalgia, it's a world where it's only
pink, blue or yellow - there's no black.
glow-in-the-dark singlets and stripes on shoes.
chunky clumps of happiness amidst every perfect colour -
this barrier blocks all darkness, black tears, evil bars.

only candyfloss, castles and carousels.
i believe in the utter purity of magenta
ribbons, blonde curls and tiny teeth.
it's halloween but laughs dart around
the electric orange of pumpkin heads, laughs of
chocolate and pistachio icecreams in your hand,
melting sugar trails down your wrist.
bangingly thrilling rides leave your head
drummed into a glucose headache.

the sun sprinkles down in dense caramel rays.
and outside the thick colours of different splotchy parts,
time racks on, clearing its throat like i do,
my cough crackly and static like a dying clock.
written: Monday 4th October 2004, 11:00pm.

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Tue Mar 26, 2024 10:28 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



This poem is lovely, Liz! It really captures the feeling of missing a childhood and reflecting on how things used to be. I really loved these lines:

only candyfloss, castles and carousels.
i believe in the utter purity of magenta
ribbons, blonde curls and tiny teeth.


I love how you used alliteration to really help the flow. This is something I have seen in your poems that has really drawn me into your writing, as I have gone back and read some of your older poems. I think you are really a poetic master! This poem feels very flowy, for example, some sentences feel like they go on for a very long time. but it isn't in a way that makes me feel bored.

these lines:

time racks on, clearing its throat like i do,
my cough crackly and static like a dying clock.


how lovely is your writing :D I love the idea of time "clearing its throat" and the fact that you are able to bring that back to you, back to the ice cream and sweets, back to being a child, growing up, and losing what you had </333

love this, as always!

Ellie-Mae




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Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:14 am
Liz says...



Thanks for the comment.
It's not specifically about dolls, but you're definitely getting the right idea. I wrote this after going to Disneyland Paris and it's just about the loss of childhood and missing it so much. So it's great that you can get something personal out of it, something you miss about your own childhood. That's the general idea.




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Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:48 pm
Chevy says...



Is this about small little girls or dolls or something? If so, the concept is great because you don't often see poems on that subject. Even if it wasn't, it made me think about all my old dolls who are all tied up in the attic now.





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