Published February 21, 2008
Roadwork
An impossible task is set before me. I stare at it. It stares at me tauntingly, and I know I will fail if I try. What is the task? Good question. Explaining it is part of the problem. Let me see . . . No, no. I can’t. I can’t explain the task. Nothing I say will show you my anxiety or how hard it is. So I will have to talk about something else, something like it, and hopefully it might help you to understand.
I love to travel. I go to many places, several times a year, to help with the vexation. I won’t bore you with the travel details. There’s only one memory that stands out to me right now, anyway.
There was a sizeable stretch of wilderness between two cities, in a country I was visiting. Somewhere on the road, I came to two workers. One man was tearing up pieces of the road, the other laying down new pieces.
“Doing some patchwork?” I said as nearly as I could in their language.
“We’re always fixing this road,” said one man.
“Does it get used much?”
“No, not much.”
“It gets damaged by weather or wildlife?” I asked.
“No,” said the one doing repairs. “I have to keep repairing the road, because he keeps tearing it up.”
“Well, why don’t you tell him to stop?”
“He can’t stop, of course.”
“Why not?”
The other man set aside his pickaxe after extracting a good-sized slab. “If I ever stop breaking the road, then he will never fix it.”
“So stop breaking the road and he won’t have to.”
“That’s just it. He’ll never fix it if I don’t break it.”
“But you’re not getting anywhere. Roads are supposed to get you places. You don’t tear up something good to fix it if it’s not broken.”
“Exactly,” they both said at once, and went back to work.
Perplexed, I shook my head and walked away.
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140,277 Literary Works • 673,071 Reviews
Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I can see that you already have plenty of reviews on this piece, but I liked reading it so I thought I would share my thoughts as well.
I really like your writing style. You have a way with your words and you present them in such a way that it really ends up intriguing the reader. I loved the fact that despite using a rather informal tone, you still manage to show off your writing skills through your narration. The beginning feels like the narrator is conversing with us and inspite of that, we cannot help but feel hooked to the story, to understand what is going on.
I also thought it was interesting how you tried to solve the confusion of the beginning with the help of a more confusing ending.
I really liked the simple way you addressed such a complicated discussion. Of course, it seems rather unlikely that any person would have to engage in such a conversaton with road workers, but it still grabs the readers attention and actually makes them think. I loved the paradox that you have introduced here so simply and I really enjoyed reading the story for this simple reason. You have given us some food for thought and it is not often that stories manage to do that.
That's all!
Keep writing and have a great day!
**LOCKED**
-:pirate3:
~Azila~
The mistake most of you are making is that I have anything to say. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But literature isn't always a handout. I could tell you what I mean by this exactly, but that's not why we read literature. If it's not doing anything for you, skip it, move on. Let's end this thread. If anyone wants to talk about this short story or anything else, just PM me. I think there's enough said here for now, though. Thanks, everyone, for your input!
I'm not sure what I think of this. It was interesting and what I liked about it was that it made me think.
But other than that, I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell the reader. I know it is supposed to be symbolic in some way but I'm not really sure what that is.
I know, from the reviews that I've read from above, that not always a piece of literature is transparent but opaque and I totally understand that.
Well, I can't really come up with anything else to say to you besides that I think you are a good writer and you know what you are talking about and that's all that matters.
It is a vexation. The problem the main character faces is vexatious. Obviously, the piece is allegorical. Pervasively so. The allegory isn't exactly spelled out, but. They shouldn't be, methinks.
Hi, Scribe!
I'm not sure "vexation" is the word you're lookin' for... To the best of my knowledge (I might be wrong) to vex is to irritate, or annoy. That might be what you're trying to say, and if it is that's fine--I just think you should elaborate on why MC's vexed?I would like to see just a tad more imagery, so that we can picture the events clearly in our minds--but it's not necessary for a piece like this. The main point of it is the content, which I love. It confused me, but in a good way. I will be pondering...
~Azila~
I was speaking to the reader, yes. And the story which follows has everything to do with what's said. The story isn't self-evident; I don't mean it to be. Not every piece of literature is transparent on a first reading. The fact that you're puzzled shows me that I've succeeded, not failed, in writing a piece which requires some thought from the reader.
It was okay. The was a couple things I didn't like, and one was how, in the beginning, you write as if you are speaking to the reader. I don't know why, but it doesn't feel right for this particular piece. Just going with my gut. There really wasn't that much to comment on... is there going to be a continuation? I know you said this piece is complete, but is there going to be another piece? Because it feels like you've only begun the plot, and left us hanging.
Just wondering... what was the point of this? Is there supposed to be something deep with the road thing? Because it isn't very clear...
The piece is complete.
This piece seems incomplete. You begin talking of a task set before the MC, then you talk about how they travel, then you introduce us to a conversation they had, but you never explain to us what the task was, or even return to a similar area of detail. It makes the piece feel like half of it got destroyed during the submitting process.
I hope you extend or continue this piece so it can give some sort of background as to why you started where you did.
Hello Scribe! *waves* I don't think I've read any of your work? May I? Why thank you. =P
That comma after "cities" feels unnecessary to me.
Huh. This is... interesting. I definitely like the paradox you present here. Seems like it could be quite the one to puzzle over for a while. Although... I just feel like there needs to be more to this. Maybe... not? I have no idea. It feels right, but at the same time I feel like I want more.
Bah. Another paradox. -.-
But yeah! I definitely like your writing style. Very straightforward, but leaving a lot of it up to the reader, which is refreshing. Definitely something I enjoy. I'll have to remember to raid your portfolio later on.
-Saint Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate