Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Your hair is to red, your teeth are to long! The repetitive nagging of my mother through my mind Your just not human! I was quite fed up with all her verbal abuse and was on the verge of suicide. I was slowly making my way through the dark streets of my gloomy town. I took small clumsy steps as I thought... The air was slightly chilly and I had to button up my black coat and hunch up my shoulders for warmth. Small clouds of white breath billowed out of my mouth and past my red chapped lips. So far my life was quite miserable and there was no way out of it...I was destined to be a mutant in these lands and I would have to live with it until my demise witch at this rate was rapidly approaching. I was so lost in thought that I had accidentally bumped into into a tall muscular man. I reluctantly lifted my face; I looked up to a tall darkly robed man. His hood was drooped over his face covering it in a shadow of mystery. I took a weary step backwards before noticing that it was The Black Priest!
Okayyy well we've got ourselves a few moments of intrigue there to start off with. For starters, I think you're doing a really good job in terms of building up this sort of personality and the situation this person finds themselves in and sort of what tends to surround them. Its immediately clear that life isn't going too well here and that it seems they've almost sort of given up on hoping for anything better too, which compounds on all of this nicely to get our attention and sell this situation here. This all work wonders with that end to the paragraph to really make us already worry for this person here.
This was not good...They had been following me for days and where obviously planning to kill me. I turned on my heals and scurried through the streets. The loud clatter of my shoes against the cobble stoned streets was like thunder through the muted lands. I ran from person to person begging for help. But with no luck. No one dared intrude with The Black Priest duty. It was hopeless even my own mother turned me down with a dim glance. Small tears stung my icy blue eyes. I was trapped and all alone. My emotions started to overflow my mind in a sea of anger and sadness This is it...I die here. I let out a screech of pain as the boon cracking grip of the hooded figure above fastened around my wrist. Before I could think I flung myself at him and bit down hard on his tough leathery hand. He snarled in rage and flung a cold fist right into my nose. It let out a painful crack before spewing out streams of blood. I screamed in horror before falling to the ground unconscious.
Oooh well I was not expecting that to branch off into a straight up chase sequence there but I am certainly not complaining. You do a pretty solid job not just of showcasing how dire this situation is turning out to be, but also the attitude of everyone else around this person to what's going on. The ending there is perhaps a touch on the slightly exaggerated side, but that's never that big of an issue and for a prologue I think you can let that slide although I would tone it down a bit just for realism's sake.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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