Young Writers Society

Hi there anasahmad! I'm Atticus, a legend on the site It's been a while since I've reviewed poetry but I'm excited to sink my teeth into it!

and minds confine

This line didn't make a lot of sense to me, particularly because the full thought seems to be "minds confine the digital glow". To me that sounds like you're saying that minds are limiting the digital glow or boxing it up somehow, and that imagery doesn't track for me. Maybe something like "and minds are confined" is more in line with what you're expressing, as that seems to match the flow of the poem thematically?

Stylistically speaking, I appreciated the rhyme scheme, as it gave the poem a light, lilting feeling. However, I think it would have flowed better visually if it was broken up like this:

In fields of green we used to play
Where laughter echoed every day
The sunlit skies, the open air
Our childhood dreams were everywhere

This flow is both more conventional and reads at a better pace, in my opinion.

In a sense this poem felt too short for me. There isn't a complete development of the ideas that are hinted at in the stanzas you have here. That's not because the stanzas themselves are incomplete, but rather that they need more content to flesh out the big idea you've started to explore. Honestly I think that to fully wrap everything up, this poem should be double or triple the size, with multiple stanzas devoted to both the reminiscing on how life before technology was so joyous and several stanzas describing how technology has changed this.

I also found myself expecting a stanza that was "mourning" these effects, as that's the implication but never stated outright. The tone is very much reminiscing fondly on these days before technology, but nothing is directly stating that these days were "better", or that the pre-technology state was preferable, which to me causes the poem to feel a bit incomplete.

Overall, this is a great start and an interesting theme to explore, and I think what you have so far is splendid! I hope my thoughts were not too disjointed to follow (I am by no means a poet and always feel a little out of my depth giving thoughts on poems). If not, feel free to shoot me a PM and I'll do what I can to clear things up.

Best,
Atticus