Young Writers Society

Hello! I was looking for some poetry to read and I found this. It's really good I love the repetition, it really adds to the affect. I also love how at the beginning it starts with "I'm running, I'm running away." and then it ends with "I'm falling, I'm falling down." I'm not sure if I'm just reading to much into it but I feel like it really conveys when you first start struggling with something and your trying to avoid it, then in the middle-ish part of the poem you realize you need help and you don't really know how to do it alone. then at the end you realize it is to late and you're already falling deeper into the struggle. Overall I think this is really well written I will definitely read more of your work.

Hello! I was looking for some poetry to read and I found this. It's really good I love the repetition, it really adds to the affect. I also love how at the beginning it starts with "I'm running, I'm running away." and then it ends with "I'm falling, I'm falling down." I'm not sure if I'm just reading to much into it but I feel like it really conveys when you first start struggling with something and your trying to avoid it, then in the middle-ish part of the poem you realize you need help and you don't really know how to do it alone. then at the end you realize it is to late and you're already falling deeper into the struggle. Overall I think this is really well written I will definitely read more of your work.

Hey friend, Ellie here to leave you a quick review for your lovely poem

To begin, I really loved the repetition that you used throughout this piece. What really stood out to me was the contrast between the first line and the last line of this poem.

It begins with:

I’m running. I’m running away.

I'm falling, I'm falling down.

I'm running, running away.

I don't want to fall.

I'm running.

I'm afraid.

I'm running.

I'm lost.

I'm running.

Somebody help.

I'm running, I'm running away,

I'm falling, I'm falling down.

I happened to stumble upon this and, wow, I can barely describe the emotions I felt while reading this. It could just be me, but I felt this rising sense of unease as I read. The use of harsh sounds, like “ruNNing”, or “how To stoP”, only added to the effect. The repetition of “I’m/I was running” really helped to hammer home the idea of running away from your problems, which I choose to interpret as a form of escapism or procrastination (and that’s super relatable, because I struggle with it too). And the building up tension towards the end? Frankly, I still feel tense even now.

I have a question, though. Why the rapid change in tenses from present to past and back again somewhere around the middle of the poem? Maybe it’s for contrast, the emphasise how “this is happening here and now” but to me, it’s a bit confusing. The segment “how do you do it alone.” is a bit jarring with the use of the full stop. Maybe it’s just me being picky, but well.

So here is my input! Sorry if it’s a bit lacking, as I know next to nothing about writing or poetry! Your work was splendid, and made me feel intense feelings, which is a good thing? Hopefully my review will encourage someone else to post a more detailed review, though! Cheers to you and keep writing!