Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is a lovely little piece. Its got a very simple goal and you absolutely nail it here, Lilith really comes across a sadistic character who has quite a lot of power over the people here and enjoys it tremendously.
Anyway let's get right to it,
"Did you miss me?" Lilith smiled brightly, an skip in her step as she approached the imprisoned. One of the men spat at her, "psychotic bastard."
She pouted, suddenly leaning forward in front of the man. "That's no fun. Didn't your parents teach you not to say bad words?"
"Oh right..." Lilith giggled, "They're dead aren't they?"
Well this is quite the start right there. Starting off with a powerful little moment showcasing exactly how crazy this particular person is. There's no room for a second though there with how fast and clear cut that opening is. Loving this so far.
The man opened his mouth angrily for a response. A retort. Maybe even a poem. But sadly he wasn’t able to finish his soliloquy before Lilith plunged a dagger into his chest. He let out a gurgle, choking on his own blood, before keeling over. She tilted her head at the corpse, before turning toward the cellmate. “Terribly sorry about the mess, guess he just couldn't…handle a sharp conversation.”
The man's eyes widened in fear as Lilith’s laugh echoed across the basement. She leaned in closer, her grin widening, relishing in the terror she could sense radiating off him.
Oh dear, well if that taunt about the dead parents wasn't enough that super casual stabbing is something else entirely and then the pun right after that is just perfect icing on the cake.
"Let's play a game," she whispered. "I'll ask you a question, and if you answer correctly, I might let you live just a little longer. How does that sound?"
The man swallowed hard, nodding hesitantly.
"Good boy," Lilith cooed, patting his cheek. "Now, tell me, what's the one thing you fear the most?"
His eyes darted around, searching for an escape that didn't exist. "You," he finally managed to croak out.
Lilith's laughter echoed off the walls. "Smart choice," she remarked, her fingers tracing the outline of a blade tucked into her belt. "But fear won't save you now."
And that's the perfect ending to cap that one off right there. Its set up absolutely perfectly there showing both just how terrified this person happen to be and at the same time how much this person absolutely relishes in that feeling, a chilling scene this.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think you've done a wonderful job here with this character, looks like someone with quite a backstory to reach this state. A powerful little piece.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
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Reviews: 4237
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