Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

I woke up in the morning and saw the Eagle waiting for me, then i ate my breakfast. "Marcus, i have a suprise for you"the Eagle said. Then it took me to a beatiful cave. "hey Glose, are you here to party?"an Hamster said. "yes, and tell janet someone is here to see her"Glose said as it entered and came out with Janet. "who are you?"?Janet arked. "Marcus, i am Marcus your older brother"i replied in amazment. "wow, how did you find me?"Janet asked again. "i was kidnapped and now i can talk to Animals"i explained. "me too, i can speed, super jump, super strenght, super sight and i can talk to animals, what are yours big bro?"Janet asked. "happy birthday, you clock 13 today, and i only know about talking to animals"i said. "Introduction first, Ral is the grasscutter, Don and Min are honey badgers, Rew and Bow are squrells"Janet introduced. "don't worry, i will discover my powers soon"i whispered to myself. "c'mon let go guys"I said aloud as we all entered. I saw a lot of fruit and water, then we celebrated.

Oooh it looks like we're dealing with the sister a little bit earlier than I thought we were going to, and well I think that's rather wonderful. We're going to have a nice and early reunion of the family and it seems like that backpack from earlier might end up being just that bit more suspicious as a result. I have a feeling that maybe we'll be finding out more about that very soon there.

Either way this reunion here was quite fun to see. The two of them seem to be quite excited to meet even if it seems the younger sister wasn't fully aware of her brother immediately. It'll certainly be a lot of fun to see them bonding here. The little introduction to several more animals and the little powers was also rather cute already although I will say that part had a bit too much of listing power. It sort of breaks up the flow there a little. I think maybe you could work that in just a little bit more subtly and spread that out more across a few more lines of dialogue, maybe have one of them mention the animals then have the other one agree and then introduce the other powers a bit later, just a thought there.

Beyond that though, this has overall been a really great start to chapter two here. Janet seems like a lovely person and quite a powerful person too if that list is anything to go off of. I look forward to seeing what shenanigans these two get up to.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate