Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

The night has come, falling from distant trees. We rain from the clouds with melodies around us, bringing us life and harmony. Everything you've wanted is right in front of you, here in this place, where your dreams can finally come true. Your heart may never be ready for the trials that you must take, but your soul and mind are waiting for a time when they can unleash their power. We wait among many for this joyous day to come, and many years may pass, and no destiny shall reveal itself to its fellow neighbors, but soon, in the dead of night, by the graves that have been still for generations, a movement shall now emerge from the land. Shaking shall be heard from the very bottom of the earth, and the still sand will start to turn into a whirlpool as the once dead now resurrect and come to life once again. But this time, their minds are changed, and their souls are not what they used to be. They may look the same, but everything is different now. There is a newfound energy inside them—a twinkle behind there eyes—and even the most dangerous people can never take them down again!

Was not meant to add another part. Sorry.

An amazing read. if there was more to it, I'd gladly look around for it all day just to find the rest. Recommended it to many of my friends cuz this deserves more reads and likes. Keep up this amazing work and in the next upcoming days, I'll read anything else you will or have posted.
Great short story.
Demi <3

Whoa. That was a really cool little read! Could definitely be made into a longer story. I enjoyed how there wasn't a definite meaning, and can probably be interpreted in varying ways, depending on the person. Nonetheless, however, the vocabulary and metaphors were.. to say the least inspiring, and well thought out.

Amazing story! 10/10 would recommend.

Hello, friend!
I'm here to check out this short little story of yours!!



Per my interpretation, this was an interesting way to write a story! There was a lack of punctuation and other grammatical errors that made it a tad unclear in some parts, but the overall message along with the descriptive language was really good!! So, let's dive into this piece!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be related to your sentence structure, or lack thereof. This short story, while very short, seemed to be one giant run-on sentence. There was no distinguishing punctuation or capitalization to separate any of the sentences, and that got a little confusing in some parts.

You put commas where periods or semicolons could have gone and forgot periods in other places altogether. I don't know if this was a conscious choice of yours, but if not, this is a relatively simple fix that can be accomplished by simply going through and finding phrases that seem to stand alone, capitalizing them, and adding the proper punctuation. (because that is a lot of text to work through, i added the changes i would make to the comment under this review!)

But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, it would absolutely have to be the imagery spread throughout this short work!! You seem to have a real knack for portraying your thoughts in a very vivid way! I mean, I could picture almost everything you said so lucidly!

To pick one specific part that really caught my eye, I would use the quote that states,

...by the graves that have been still for generations, a movement shall now emerge from the land shaking shall be heard from the very bottom of the earth, and the still sand will start to turn into a whirlpool...