Young Writers Society

i know that this is out of the green room, but i wanted to give my two cents on its meaning. i feel as though it has been misconstrued into "i dont know" when to me there is a very clear usage of symbolism to portray a theme.

a lot of your symbolism is anatomical. the image of crying into another persons skin carries weight to me, suggesting a deep emotional connection between the two figures. skin represents a boundary between individuals, yet here, it becomes a conduit for shared emotions & experiences. it is very vulnerable & vulnerability is another theme ive noticed. it is both intimate & uncomfortable. you oscillate between moments of tenderness & harshness, yet the overall idea of shame still lingers. intimacy equates to embarrassment.

with that being said, i think this poem is overall describing an intimate encounter with a former partner. your physical imagery, such as "her fingers digging into my ribcage," can be interpreted as a metaphor for both physical intimacy & emotional pain. i think that is very reminiscent of rekindling an old flame or a fleeting encounter. i could also bring up the line "make sure youre quiet when you leave" as that is likely the strongest evidence to me. however, i could imagine many meanings.

overall, this is a beautiful poem. the juxtaposition of contrasting emotions & overarching symbols throughout is perfect. i think it is your best.

envy

"make sure you're quiet when you leave." - I don't know why but this sentence alone, draws me in with a sense of familiarity. Overall this is a good poem, I'd like to see more like this from you

Hello again! Orabella here with a quick review. ^^

Your poetry has such a unique tone to it - it's chalked full of meaning and it's so personable too. I can feel everything you describe, even if they are feelings I'm unfamiliar with. (Which is incredible, by the way. Getting people to feel while reading what you wrote is a great accomplishment, and absolutly beautiful when the writer can pull it off.)

every house is unfamiliar to me now.

i can be as gentle as she'd like.
i can be mean and nasty. i consider everything
for a brief moment. this is it, right? this is all there is.

i feel her fingers digging into my ribcage,
bones creaking like an old staircase.

Hello Hello, I hope you don't mind me coming in with a review. This is a short poem but packs so much into it with a very strong voice. Forgive me If this comes off as insensitive but I enjoy how clear the conflict is in this piece it gives such a peek into whoever's pov this is meant to be. I do hope that if this is based on your real life I wish you peace and good things.

" i feel her fingers digging into my ribcage,
bones creaking like an old staircase." Is such a strong line I love the imagery it is vivid and striking. I am a sucker for metaphor and prose so that might be my opinion.

I only have a few nitpicks that you by no means have to use. The first one is the lack of capitalization I understand that might be stylistic, so It is no big deal. The second one is simple, in the first stanza I feel the impact could be improved by describing the feeling of being held if that makes sense. The heat in the crux of a neck or the pressure of arms around you that sort of thing.

Overall I really like this, Keep writing remember to drink water and keep going it does get better.