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Young Writers Society


18+ Mature Content

LMS VI: Something About Monsters - Mermaids

by WeepingWisteria


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

Trigger Warning: Graphic depiction of suicide

I’m sure my last story left you with some burning questions that even I can’t answer. Did Jackson actually have a warm embrace from Death? Absolutely not, but I can’t precisely say what occurred, either. Only that Death was angry, and every time I try to ask Death what had occurred, Death tended to lose face. And turn into a beast of pure shadow. As for what Lucille found when her spirit was finally cut free from this plane, I can’t say that either. I can only wish she found herself in a nursery, the ghost of some dead infant now in her care. Not the one she would've given birth to, but one that needed some care.

No matter what she finds, I hope she’s happy. It makes me sick how much pain she had gone through. Call me a sap if you dare.

But we’re not here to keep talking about Lucille. We’re here for a new young lady, a few years younger than Lucille. She was fourteen, a truly tumultuous age for humans. Her name was Andrea O’Connell, and she used to be everything her parents dreamed of. In middle school, she always had straight A’s, and her teachers absolutely adored her. Every parent-teacher conference was the same, with cries of “She’s so smart!” and “One of the smartest kids I’ve ever had!” Andrea ate up the attention.

That was all until she went to high school.

You see, Andrea was used to the whole “high school is hard” and “prepare to be tested” speech. All of her teachers said the same thing about middle school and looked how that turned out! Middle school was a breeze, and she was sure high school would be too.

Until she got her end-of-the-semester report card, a bolded ‘F’ beside her Biology class, she had failed a class for the first time in her life, a failure that would haunt her forever.

From there, everything seemed to spiral. She tried to spend more time studying, only to fall asleep in class and make a complete fool of herself. She tried tutoring, only to get laughed at by the kids she used to surpass easily. Soon enough, her perfect 4.0 turned into a mess of A’s and B’s, all while that one F stared at her with its beady Times New Roman eyes.

Andrea felt like a failure. That’s what F stood for, right? Fail? Fail a class. Fail at school. Fail at life. Fail everything you were supposed to be good at. Fail, fail, fail again.

Apparently, in high school, Andrea was only good at failing.

So, Andrea stopped being her parents’ pride and joy. She stopped being the best student ever. Most of all, she stopped getting attention. No one remembered her. She felt like she was fading away. A part of her wanted to fade away because evaporated people aren’t failures.

That’s what drove Andrea to mermaids.

Andrea first read about them online. It was the story of a girl just like her, someone who used to be everything and then learned just how quickly silver can tarnish to nothing, who decided that she wasn’t going to just take life beating her over the head with mistakes. So, she wandered to her nearest bluffs, staring out over the sea, when she heard chatter in the distance. She walked down the bluffs until she stood on simple sand, and there, off in the distance, was a group of girls giggling about this or that, and the girl in the article had been so jealous. They were in the middle of the sea, so far out that the water lapped against their shoulders.

Before the girl could walk away bitter and jealous, the gigglers invited her to join them. The girl waded into the ocean to join those girls, only to never return home. Some say those girls drowned her; the body simply never washed ashore. Some say the girls never existed and the girl just ran away.

And some say the girls weren’t girls at all but mermaids with shimmering scaly tails and gills across their necks, and now the first girl is one of them, giggling and living out her days in the sea.

And before you expect me to tell you which one is right, don’t. Which one is true doesn’t matter yet. All that mattered is what Andrea believed. Or, well, wanted to believe.

Because, in reality, Andrea didn’t know what she believed. She knew people were cruel enough to drown someone innocent and unsuspecting, and people were awful enough to turn a teen runaway into a sensation.

But the world was odd enough for mermaids, too. Andrea wanted her gaggle of mermaids to giggle and chatter with. She wanted a happy ending of swimming off into the deep sea with no report cards, failures, or disappointed parents to worry about.

And that is what led Andrea to write a note to her parents early in the morning when the sky was dark and the world slumbered. She didn’t like spending time alone with her thoughts. They always seemed to be too bitter. She had recently learned that cyanide was bitter too, so she imagined her thoughts to be little cyanide capsules that would burst, coating her tongue in that sharp lye burn. It didn’t make the thoughts hurt less; it just made them easier to describe. Just another cyanide wave, nothing to worry about.

But her parents deserved a letter, so she wrote one. She didn’t use the English skills that would make her teachers beam; she just wrote down what she needed to say.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am leaving. If my dream comes true, I won’t be back. Goodbye.

She folded the note in half. Then in half again. It wouldn’t stay closed, and the paper kept pushing its way to be a triangle shape. She just left it. A messy note from their screw-up of a daughter—the perfect sentiment, really.

She left, taking only her clothes, phone, and bus card. She had a card to take the bus and wouldn’t get in trouble with her parents. She would never see her parents again. She stopped for a moment to consider that. That was something people were sad about. They would miss their parents. Never seeing them again would be a tragedy. But Andrea felt this strange sense of numbness. She didn’t care. It’s not like she didn’t want to see her parents. She just didn’t need to see them, either. She just couldn’t care.

So, when she stepped out of her house, hands stained with pen ink, she didn’t feel anxious at all. If she was attacked on these streets, she could easily die. She glanced down at her hands. The black ink smeared across the side of her hand, and it was easy to imagine as blood. Blood someone else would wipe off to hide evidence of a crime. Maybe that should’ve pushed her to turn around and hide in the safety of her home, but she couldn’t even think of that. Would be jumpers be damned, she had a dream to achieve.

She walked to the bus stop, her eyes flitting to the sky above. She couldn’t see the stars where she lived. But they must be amazing out on the open ocean with no light to block them. She swore that she wouldn’t sleep at sea for the first three days. She’d just be transfixed watching the sky.

She paid for one bus ticket and bluntly ignored the driver’s query about why she was alone. She didn’t care if her parents were worried. They didn’t love her anyways. They wanted a perfect straight-A daughter, not whatever she had turned into. Honestly, she was ready to bet that her parents were happy to get rid of her.

Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of instances where adults had children because someone told them they had to, ending in perfect disaster. But, somehow, Andrea’s parents felt different. They were anguished when they read the note the following day. If Andrea had come to them with her feelings, they would’ve reassured her quickly. But she didn’t give them that choice. She kept all of her pain inside of her.

And like an object that kept all of that pressure inside, it burst. And now Andrea was in a cramped bus headed straight for an idyllic beach just an hour away. It was the same beach from the story. Maybe the girls would still be there, giggling and swimming, and they’d let Andrea into their ranks.

No one sat next to her on the entire ride. It was still early enough that no one in their right mind, as the saying goes, would ride the bus. She practically buzzed with excitement. The suspense was killing her. She needed those mermaids to be real. She desperately needed them to be real.

An hour later, the sun was finally starting to dip over the horizon, casting everything in a sea of oranges and yellows. Ocean sunrises must make the sea glow. Nothing was blocking its path. She plugged the coordinates for the beach into her phone and started walking. The streets were almost entirely empty here. She wondered how many people had walked this very same path. Was there anyone else who took that same bus route and then walked down the road, the sunrise behind them? Were they excited? Nervous? Skeptical?

Did they get what they wanted?

She held her head high, feeling freer than she ever had in her life. It didn’t matter how long this process took. She had nothing else to do. And if the mermaids said no…

Well, she was the head of the debate team in eighth grade. She could handle them.

At around six-thirty, she got the first text from her mom. It asked, Where are you?

Andrea swiped it off of the screen. She didn’t have time to focus on something like that.

Another text. Andi, you better respond. We’re worried sick.

She just cleared that notification too.

Why is your location off?

Andrea put her phone in her pocket. Fine. If they wanted to blow up her phone, she’d just ignore them.

But then it pinged. And then it pinged again. And then several more times until Andrea kept it silent to fix the issue. But then, it started to vibrate. She took it out with a huff of frustration.

Get home. Now.

We saw your missing bus card.

Where are you even going?

Come back before you get hurt.

Andrea.

Andrea!

She turned off her phone completely, holding it like a thirty-pound weight. Why were her parents so intent on pretending to want her around? She was the disappointment now. She was only worth it when she was the best.

She threw it to the floor as hard as possible. “Leave.” She stomped on the screen. “Me.” She stomped again. “Alone!” The screen shattered, and Andrea finally stopped, heaving for breath. She yelled in frustration and kicked the ruined remains of the phone. “I hate you!”

A pedestrian walking past her gave her a concerned look, but she didn’t care. She had much more pressing issues to worry about. Namely, her walk to the ocean.

“Okay, Andrea. You took the bus. You made it to your stop. Now we just have to make it to the ocean.”

Andrea often talked to herself about what she needed to do. She often felt weird about it until she learned it was a common trait in geniuses. And even though her genius pass has been thoroughly revoked, it was a hard habit to shake. So now, she was just a non-genius who talked to herself.

She was starting to feel bad about it again.

Andrea kept walking down the sidewalk until there was a gap in the fence alongside her. She grinned. There! The opening to the beach path. All she had to do was walk down the path until there was soft beach sand. Oh, she could smell the salt in the air! And she could practically taste the rotting seaweed strewn about the shoreline. The song of the ocean was calling to her very soul! Her new home was just a short walk away.

She turned onto the path, ready to run the last bit until she skidded to a halt.

There, right in front of her, was a barricade blocking off the path. On the front was a standard metal sign: “Beach closed.”

Andrea just stared, dumbfounded. Who had the authority to close an entire beach? Did someone die? Did several someones die? She has half a mind to march up to this barricade-putter and demand what gave them jurisdiction over a stretch of dirt and the Pacific ocean.

She took a deep breath. There was no time. The mermaids had only been recorded coming to the beach at specific intervals. While Andrea was an ex-genius, she could comprehend basic patterns. And this one told her that marching off to demand answers would only make her lose her chance.

“What am I willing to do to join the sea?”

She stared at the barricade. The barricade, as an inanimate object, didn’t stare back. It was rather unbothered by the whole situation, really.

Andrea examined everything again. She had already lost her genius. Why not her rule-follower attitude? What had sitting still and smiling pretty and raising her hand got her? She violated her parents’ wishes by taking a bus and smashing her phone. She could break a few more rules. Beach closed? Yeah. Not on Andrea’s watch.

She took a few steps back and ran at the fence, ready to jump over it.

She failed. Miserably, in fact. A rebel attitude did nothing to change the fact she had no athletic training, and the barricade went up to her waist. However, she managed to crash right into it and knock it over. It knocked the breath out of her lungs, but it solved her problem.

She lay on top of the metal, trying to catch her breath. Her ankle throbbed. “Good to know. Jumping over metal. That’s a bad idea.”

The metal did not apologize.

She sighed and stood up, wincing as she put weight on her foot. It didn’t matter, though. She was going to make it to the beach. Swimming would feel better on her ankle, anyways. And then she won’t even have ankles anymore!

She continued her journey, now walking on the stone path. She finally had a good view of the ocean, sprawled out in front of her as far as the eye could see. Did mermaids live long to explore every nook and cranny of the sea? Could she make it to depths no human has ever seen? See reefs undiscovered by man? The giddiness overtook her again, turning the pain in her ankle into little more than a whisper. A whole world was before her. What could possibly be more important than that?

When she took her first step on soft sand, she squealed, jumping up and down and making a complete mess of herself. Ugh. I hated sand.

She grinned and turned her attention back to the water. “Okay, mermaids. Where are you?”

There was no response. The mermaids, if there were any, were painfully silent. Andrea frowned. She had just conquered her first obstacle. She could find a mermaid!

She took a deep breath. “Mermaids! Come out, come out wherever you are!”

She continued her march through the sand until her shoes were filled to the brim. She sighed. “Okay, mermaids. You have until I take my shoes off.”

She plopped to the ground and started struggling against her laces. She probably should’ve worn sandals, but she had to pretend to go to school. You can’t go to school in sandals, which was also why she was in jeans and a regular t-shirt. Very unbeachlike attire. They would probably laugh at her for trying to swim in denim if she did find the mermaids.

Andrea finally pulled her shoes off and took a moment to dump out the ludicrous amount of sand in them. She sighed. “I guess I won’t be needing you.” She peeled off her socks and stuffed them inside one of her shoes. “Maybe someone else will find you. They’ll need you more than I do.” She stood up, trying and failing to brush off the sand on her jeans. “Okay, mermaids! Did you hear my warning?”

If they did, they certainly weren’t going to tell her. She sighed. “Maybe I’m too far away. I’ll just get closer.”

The ocean was at low tide, and the wet sand was covered in glittering seashells, spread open like butterfly wings. She stopped to admire them, taking in the vivid pinks and oranges. This was a part of her new home. Maybe seashells became her new stars, and she would float upside down in the water and trace constellations out of crustaceans. She grinned. That sounded pretty fun.

She took a deep breath and continued, stepping forward until sea foam lapped at her ankles, soaking the cuffs of her jeans. She frowned. What would happen to her clothes once she transformed into a mermaid? Were they expecting her to arrive already without them? The idea made her shudder slightly. No. If they could give Andrea a tail, her clothes could get an epic transformation too. It’s what she deserved.

She walked along the ocean, taking another moment to admire how the wet sand and water devoured her footprints until there was no trace of her ever being there. Sometimes, that made her feel small. Like at the end of the day, she didn’t matter. The beach would erase her footprints; her middle school would throw away her school records; her gravestone would erode until her name disappeared. But right now, it just made her feel at home. The ocean didn’t need her footprints. It already had her soul.

“Hey, ocean?”

The ocean responded by crashing into the shore. Maybe the wave in the distance was a little bit taller than before. Maybe it was waving to her. But, that didn’t quite feel very oceany. When she went to the beach on a field trip for the last day of her eighth-grade year, her science teacher, Ms. Bonvill, said that the ocean loved to sing. That’s why conch shells played their music and mermaids formed a chorus. The ocean and all of the life within were just one big symphony. But Andrea wasn’t good at singing and never had an ear for instruments. Would the ocean still want her?

She shook her head. No. She had come too far to have silly thoughts like those. She took a second to imagine packing all of her thoughts into a duffel bag and sitting on top of it to zip it up. Then she imagined leaving it on the bus, tucking it under a chair so it was out of the way. She wouldn’t let anything get in her way. There was nothing left for her anyways. If the ocean didn’t want her as kin, if it just let her drown in the waves, preserving nothing but her bruised and battered body in water and salt…

Well, it couldn’t be any worse than failing biology. It couldn’t be worse than losing her life’s purpose. Because everyone tells you to have a plan for life, to know who you are. But they never tell you what to do if you’re wrong.

She remembered seeing her school therapist in high school. He had heard how amazing she was and was excited to guide her to college.

“You’re a girl who has it all figured out. Hold on to that. It’s so rare, especially at this age.”

Tears started bubbling in the corners of her eyes. “I hope you want me. No one… no one else does. So, I guess I can’t blame you if you find me just as useless as everyone else. But please. I just want to be wanted again.”

I… I must say. You mortals seem to jump to that conclusion quite often. That your world was ending, and everybody had collectively agreed to stop wanting you. It was far too late for Andrea, unfortunately. By the time I found her story, her head was so far deep in that cycle that even if I appeared next to her and tried to pry it out, she would’ve kicked and screamed and cursed my presence. But, you, my reader. Maybe you I can reason with.

You are not special enough to be so viscerally hated as that. Name any evil person, serial killer, dictator, or genocidal mastermind, and I can steer you to armies of people who adore them. People who see the blood on their hands and swoon.

So how is it that you, killer of none, persecutor of none, would do what the worst dredges of humanity couldn’t? What makes you special enough to be hated by the entirety of the human race? Please, I really would like to know.

And Andrea was wanted. She was still wanted if she had truly mastered the impossible and turned all of humanity against her. The forces that hang in the balance outside humanity have taken a strong liken to it, including Andrea.

But that’s a story for another time.

One that absolutely does not involve me. Don’t even think about it.

Andrea watched the ocean for a moment. It roared from the middle distance, and the waves kept up their eternal cycles of pulling back and rushing forward. She sighed. “The mermaids will tell me.”

She continued on her journey until another barricade loomed in the distance. She froze. She had managed to topple the mighty state barricade, but this…

She couldn’t exactly knock over a cliffside.

“Uh, ocean? What do I do?”

Being a small body of water, the ocean didn’t magically gain the ability to speak and, therefore, didn’t answer her. Oceans had a bad habit of doing that.

She glanced behind her, trying to see if she had just somehow accidentally passed the mermaids. I don’t know how she could have possibly done so, but who was I to question her?

Alas, no mermaids were behind her, so she settled for speedwalking to the cliff. “Maybe I can scale it! Or swim around it. But these aren’t good swimming clothes, and I’ll be too stiff, and the mermaids will think I’m not good enough.” She cried out in frustration. “What do I do? What do I do?”

There was no one to answer her. She was starting to feel hopeless. Her duffel bag of doubts was starting to feel less left on the bus and more currently knocking her to the floor. “I’m trying my best here! Why isn’t that enough?”

She huffed and kicked at the ocean, spraying water at an incoming wave.

“Okay, think, Andrea, think!”

She turned back around, facing the street parallel to the sea. “Right! Oh, I’m so stupid! It’s that easy.”

She shook her head and marched back to the street. “I can walk around to the cliffs. Stupid, Andrea.” She made a series of frankly unnecessary frustrated noises as she kicked up more sand than ever. It clung to her jeans and was somehow coating her legs too. It had to be an agonizing experience, to say the least, but she kept trucking along like it was fine. I wanted to brush off my legs in sympathy.

Once Andrea made it to the street, having kicked enough sand to fill a few dozen terrariums, she faced one massive problem.

Andrea had notably sacrificed her shoes to the needy, and now they were on the other side of the beach, which was at least half an hour's walk. She groaned. “It’s okay, Andrea. By the time you’re a mermaid, you won’t need shoes! You’ll never forget your shoes again.” She laughed, gulping as she quickly approached the hot, blistering street. “Ignore that you’ve never forgotten your shoes before! Because your usual hobbies don’t include discarding them.”

She reached the edge of the sand. “Oh, dear. Why did I have to take off my socks? Mermaids, please be there. Please, please, please!” She lifted her foot and placed one toe on the pavement. She pulled away with a yelp. The concrete was scorching, just as she predicted. She squeezed her eyes shut and stepped down. The heat wave almost made her sick, but she placed her other foot down. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she took another agonizing step forward. She tried to imagine the ocean. The ocean would help.

She’d swim with her mermaid friends to water so clean you could see the deepest depths of it. And it would be that teal water you see in the tropics. And she could make friends with all the fish because everyone knew mermaids could talk to fish, and all the fishermen would stop fishing and get new jobs because everyone knew that fishermen had to listen to mermaids. Being a mermaid would be so fantastic that she would forget what it even felt like to have feet, so she definitely wouldn’t remember this burning. And everything would be fine and perfect and just amazing. Completely, utterly, entirely, other words for completely amazing.

Andrea opened her eyes just enough to see a sliver of shade cast across the concrete. She sprinted for it, practically sobbing in relief once the ground was cool enough for nausea to calm down. She promptly collapsed into a sitting position, sobbing freely. It hurt. Her feet hurt so, so bad. She decided to glance back at the cliffs behind her. Maybe it would help to know how much progress she had made. It had to be a lot, right?

She’d be exaggerating if she claimed to have made it a quarter of the way. She lay flat on her back, feeling defeated. How was she supposed to do this? She couldn’t wait until nightfall. The mermaids would be gone! She couldn’t turn around to get her shoes. She would have to make that awful trek, and besides, it would take so long that the mermaids would be gone! No matter what she did, she was doomed. If she didn’t make her way forward somehow, she’d never become a mermaid and have to live her life in shame as a failure and a runaway. The police would find her, her school would fine her parents because she was truant, and then she’d get tossed in juvy.

Andrea stared up at the cliff face that was about to ruin her life. How could a pile of rocks be so cruel? They didn’t even have a brain! She huffed. What could she possibly do here?

That’s when a brilliant idea sprouted to life in her head. The cliff looked much more climbable from this angle. And sure, she was barefoot, but no matter what she did, she would suffer. She could scale the rocks and get around them that way! No need for tickets or juvy. The world was saved!

She stood up slowly, trying her best to avoid stepping on the scorching bits of concrete. This was fine. She could do this. She would do this! She held on to the edge of the rock and found her first foothold, very unsteadily pulling herself up until she was entirely on the rock. This was perfect! Absolutely perfect. She awkwardly bent her leg and found a new spot. This was easy too. Awesome!

The next time she braced her foot against the rock, it slipped, and she cut herself. She could feel the blood start to wet the sole of her foot, the cut stinging. She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter at all.” She braced on that foot and stepped up to the next foothold. She had come too far to turn around. Besides, no feet equaled no cut. It would all sort itself out soon. She kept climbing until she could finally pull her knees to the top of the cliff. She collapsed on top of it, gasping for breath. She hadn’t noticed during the trek up, but that had taken so much strength. And her P.E. teacher said she was doomed to be out of shape forever. She grinned. This was it.

After sufficiently catching her breath, she unsteadily rose to her feet. “Take that, rocks!” She laughed, running around in a victory circle before the stinging cut on her foot stopped that. “Ow. Right. Ow!” She huffed. How was she supposed to walk through the sand with an open wound? That was asking for an infection. Had the rocks won, after all? Was she doomed always to be defeated by a very malicious pile of stones?

Before she could sit down and wallow in defeat again, she heard a sharp giggle float in the air. She furrowed her eyebrows. No one was on the cliff. Who could possibly be laughing? And were they laughing at her? She walked to the cliff's edge, peering at the sand below. Nope. No people down there either. Was she hallucinating? Were failure-induced hallucinations a thing?

Narrator popping in there. No. You may continue.

Andrea groaned. “This is stupid. This is so stupid. I should’ve never failed biology. I should’ve never attended high school. I should’ve never been special in eighth grade. I never should’ve been born!” She stomped her foot, heaving for breath.

“Well, that’s just silly talk.”

Andrea whirled around, but there was no one behind her. “Hello? Who’s there?”

“Down here, silly! Come on.” There was a splash of water.

Splash. Water. Down. Mermaid.

Mermaid.

Andrea sprinted to the edge of the cliff over the water.

Four people were in the water—a pale redhead with a braid over each shoulder, a black girl with navy blue cornrows, a Hispanic girl with dark curly hair tied back into a low bun, and a Korean man with a black buzzcut. The Hispanic girl waved. “Hello! We heard you up there. Are you alright?”

Andrea blinked. How many people had asked that since her epic fail? Hey, Andrea. I saw you weren’t performing—because they always said performing like she was a little computer or a dancer they kept in their pockets for entertainment—like usual. Are you alright? Because they only cared about the answer if it was an answer that would let them fix Andrea, turn her back into the perfect machine she always had been. “Honestly…” She sat down on the cliff, staring down at the people. “Not too well.”

The redhead frowned. “Oh? Mind sharing?”

Andrea sighed. “Well, I ran away from home, smashed my phone, left my shoes on the beach, burned and cut my feet, and now I need you four to be mermaids, or I will have nothing to show for it.”

The four people in the water exchanged a glance. The man spoke first this time. “You heard of the mermaids?”

Andrea nodded. “Yeah! I heard the story of Lia Serrano. Some people said she disappeared on this beach because she joined the mermaids. I wanted to join her. And the rest of you, really.”

The Hispanic girl glanced at her companions before looking back up at Andrea. “I’m Lia Serrano.”

Andrea gasped. “So it’s true?”

Lia took a deep breath. “Around four months ago, when I was walking home from school, I took a detour and decided to walk to the beach. It was busy that day, so I climbed the rocks for some peace. That’s when I heard them.” She looked at the three others again. “And I finally found home. So, welcome to the merfolk. You found us.”

Andrea grinned. “Oh my. Thank you. Thank you so much.” She felt tears spring to her eyes for an entirely different reason this time. This was it. It had all been worth it.

The redhead grinned. “What’s your name, o’ searcher of the merfolk?”

Andrea sniffled. “Andrea. Andrea O’Connell.”

The redhead nodded. “Well, I’m Hannah Mark.”

The man waved. “I’m Lucas Byun.”

“And I’m Tariana Smith.” She smiled, giving Andrea a two-fingered salute.

Andrea couldn’t help but giggle as her tears spilled over. Four whole merfolks. Honestly, thinking mermaids this whole time was rather insensitive. Of course, there would be mermen. And mernonbinary people! She shoved that aside. That wasn’t important right now. “It’s nice to meet you.” She sniffled, wiping her eyes.

Lia smiled softly. “It’s nice to meet you too, Andrea. Now, let’s talk about what you were saying before I stopped you. Why do you think you don’t deserve to be born?”

Andrea waved her hand dismissively. “I only thought that when I couldn’t find you guys. Now that you’re here, I don’t think that!”

Tariana narrowed her eyes. “For some reason, I highly doubt that.”

Andrea frowned. “Well, you shouldn’t.”

Tariana swam closer to the rocks. “Things like that don’t flip-flop around overnight. You felt that way before you heard about us, and it didn’t change when you met us.”

Andrea flushed. “What?” She forced herself to laugh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

But she did. They were completely correct. She thought she should’ve never been born when she first got that F in biology. That’s when she lost her life purpose. That’s when she should’ve died and been left behind and abandoned, and woah, where did all of that come from?

Tariana sighed. “You just had the moment, huh?”

Andrea blinked. “The moment?”

Tariana nodded. “Everyone who becomes merfolk has a reason. But it all leads to one thing.”

Lucas sighed. “We all think we deserve to die.”

“That we should’ve never been born.” Hannah nodded. “Such is a merfolk’s birth.”

Lia snorted. “A human gets depression; a mermaid gets its tail.”

Andrea blinked. All four of those people knew exactly how she felt? They woke up with the same hollow feeling in their chest, and no matter what they did, nothing would fix it?

Andrea sniffled. “And you tried all of the therapists?”

Lia, Tirana, and Hannah nodded, but Lucas just scoffed. “I didn’t get that luxury. Men are supposed to be tough, remember?”

Andrea cringed. “And you did the very best you could?”

“There was nothing left to do!” Tariana huffed. “I had done everything but wasn’t good enough.”

“And you failed at the one thing you were always destined to be good at.” Andrea finished with ease. “And no matter what you did at the point, the damage had already been done. You were nothing.”

The four of them just watched her, like they had just seen her from a new angle and discovered some part of her previously uncovered. Lia smiled. “You’re definitely merfolk material.”

Andrea let out a choked sob. “I would hope so at this point because no human wants me. No one wants me anymore.”

Hannah shook her head. “We do. We do, Andrea. Don’t say that.”

Andrea wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

Tariana nodded encouragingly. “It’s okay. We’ve all been here before.”

“But you never have to be here again.” Lia smiled, and it was so warm, much warmer than anything Andrea had ever seen. “Because you’re going to be one of us now. And the waves will wash over you, and that feeling evaporates.”

Andrea sniffled. “Really? Just like that?”

Lucas nodded. “Just like that.” He snapped, the noise echoing up the rocks and straight into her heart. Andrea grinned. Just like that. Just like that, she would be worth something again, loved and wanted again.

“Okay. Tell me what to do.”

Lia clapped. “Good, good. Well, it’s simple, really. You just… jump.”

Andrea furrowed her eyebrows. “Jump? Like from the rocks into the water?”

Hannah nodded. “It’s not that high. You’ll be fine.”

Andrea took a step away from the edge. “But jumping into water hurts. Because of cohesion and surface tension. I might as well be jumping onto a bag of bricks.”

Tirana laughed. “That’s from way higher up. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”

Andrea shook her head. “No! That’s insane. I can’t jump.”

Lucas sighed. “Come on, Andrea. You’ve made it this far! Final stretch!”

Andrea eyed the water. It’s not like she could measure the fall and see if their claims were accurate. Was that a chance she was willing to take?

“Andrea. Look at me.” She looked at Lia, who was back to smiling softly. “We’ve all made this jump before. And yes, it will be scary. But it will be worth it.”

Andrea swallowed. “But-“

“But what, Andrea?” Lia sighed. “Let’s say you do turn around. Then what? You go back to the life that’s always made you feel worthless? What do you gain from that?”

Andrea sighed. “What if I jump and it doesn’t work?”

Hannah circled to float by Lia’s side. “What if you jump and it does?”

Andrea took a deep breath. “Then it would be the greatest thing in my life.”

Tirana joined Lia’s other side. “So, come on! You got this!”

Andrea took another step back. “Okay! I’m… I’m going to do it!”

Because in the end, the worst thing that would happen is she would fall to her death. And that would still be better than going home to her failed grades and disappointed family.

Lucas clapped. “We all knew you could do it, Andrea!”

Andrea grinned. It was her first genuine smile since her grade started falling. “Watch out! I’m coming in!”

The four merpeople cheered as Andrea sprinted. She didn’t think about anything else. She was going to be a mermaid. A beautiful, free, life-loving mermaid. She closed her eyes as she approached the cliff, squealing as there was suddenly nothing but air underneath her feet.

“Andrea! Andrea! Andrea!” All four of them chanted in unison as she fell. Andrea’s stomach swooped, and she felt sick, alive, and so free all at once.

And then she hit the water.

And she never knew such pain could exist.

It shot through every inch of her body. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She could feel her beat stop beating instantly.

Lia stroked her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I know it hurts. It’ll be worth it. All that pain is necessary.”

Andrea couldn’t respond. She couldn’t breathe long enough to choke out a word. She couldn’t move her broken neck enough to nod. Her vision tunneled.

Lia smiled, but it seemed… hollow now. Lia seemed hollow. “It’s alright. Just breathe.”

Andrea stopped fighting and just let herself blackout. The last thing she saw before her vision faded was an empty ocean and an evaporating mist where the merpeople once were.

xxxxx

A few hours later, the rocks are taped off by police tape. Officer Elsa Hoffman, a tired woman who wanted to go home to see her kids, crossed the line with a sick feeling in her stomach. She approached Officer Timothy Randall, an old coworker of hers. “Talk to me, hotshot. What’s going on?”

Officer Randall sighed, fixing his glasses. “Forensics thinks it’s suicide. No evidence of foul play.”

On the beach below, a forensic team lifted a girl’s body into a body bag. Even from this distance, it’s easy to tell she’s young. Far too young to do something like this. Officer Hoffman sighed. “That’s what, the fourth one on this beach alone?”

“Fifth.” Officer Randall shook his head. “Don’t forget that boy last spring.”

Officer Hoffman hissed. “A real hotbed. How do people stomach coming here? Knowing that kid after kid keeps throwing themselves off of this cliff. Makes me sick.”

Officer Randall shrugged. “People don’t think about it, I guess. It’s not like they can change it now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Give me the information. Who was this girl?”

“An Andrea O’Connell. Parents noticed she was missing around six-thirty am. She left a note for them saying that she hoped not to return. She was caught on camera riding a bus to the Missonary Beach Station, and appears to have walked from there.”

“And no one stopped her?”

“Nope.”

Officer Hoffman groaned. “Unbelievable.”

She imagined her little girl, who had just turned five a month ago, growing up to do something like this. How did Andrea’s parents never notice? She must’ve felt so alone.

Officer Randall sighed. “You can’t blame every pedestrian for not keeping her safe.”

“You’d understand if you had kids.”

He snorted. “Never going to happen. Just because you and the missus couldn’t wait to have them doesn’t mean my wife and I feel the same way.”

“I know, I know. But have a heart. I’d rather be driving a crying teenager home than watching forensics drag away her body for an autopsy.”

“That was nothing to do with having children. That’s called being a decent human being. But you still can’t blame every pedestrian. It’s not illegal for teenagers to be outside.”

Officer Hoffman sighed. “I hate it when you’re right, you know?”

Officer Randall sighed and pulled her into a side hug. “I’m sorry. I know you hate these cases.”

She sighed. “But there’s nothing to be done. I just wish I knew what made her jump.”

“I don’t think anyone can know that but her.”


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Fri Jun 02, 2023 11:03 pm
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Spearmint wrote a review...



Hello hello, Wist! ^-^ It's mint, here with a review! (Finally, omg, I'm sorry it took me so long XP) So… continuing with my chocolate comparisons, this one is dark chocolate with sea salt, of course. :’) This story personally feels the most relatable to me of your stories so far, considering Andrea’s age and circumstances (although I have no intention of jumping off a cliff, aha). Anyways, like Kate mentioned below, I’d just like to give Andrea a really big hug. <3

So before I go on to specifics, I’d like to comment on one thing that kind of bugs me. If Andrea did so well in middle school, it seems a little bit unrealistic to me that she would completely fail high school? And not knowing she had an F in Biology until the end of the semester— I don’t know, I think you can generally get a sense of how well you did after tests.
What would be more realistic to me is if you showed Andrea slipping a little earlier. Like, maybe she feels alright on the first day. But then as more work piles up and she can feel herself not being the smartest person in the room anymore, she starts to lose confidence. As a straight-A student myself, I can tell you how shocking it feels to get a B, even if it’s only temporary. :’) Like, even though I know I have time to make up for it, it just makes me feel bad, y’know? And when I don’t feel good, it’s hard to muster up motivation to work, lol. And since Andrea’s used to being the best, it’s probably hard for her to ask for help too, so she likely ends up falling even farther behind.
Anyways, yeah. I like how you have the part about Andrea getting laughed at by students she used to surpass when she tries to get tutoring (they are awful tutors if they're laughing at their tutees, by the way). But I think it’d be nice if you could explain Andrea’s academic struggles a little earlier, instead of having the F come up all of a sudden. ^^

That’s my main critique. Overall, I think your writing in this story is very poignant, and I really got to care about Andrea. </3 T-T

Here are a couple of specific parts I liked~

Soon enough, her perfect 4.0 turned into a mess of A’s and B’s, all while that one F stared at her with its beady Times New Roman eyes.

"beady Times New Roman eyes" is such a great description. XD

A part of her wanted to fade away because evaporated people aren’t failures.

T-T You write your characters' thoughts so beautifully and realistically. It's slightly poetic without seeming forced, and somehow these lines just hit so hard.

It was the story of a girl just like her, someone who used to be everything and then learned just how quickly silver can tarnish to nothing, who decided that she wasn’t going to just take life beating her over the head with mistakes. So, she wandered to her nearest bluffs, staring out over the sea, when she heard chatter in the distance.

"life beating her over the head"— in hindsight, this line seems intentional. xD
Also, in "her nearest bluffs," is "her" supposed to be "the"? I feel like something's a little wonky with that sentence, haha. Maybe: "So, she wandered to the nearest bluffs. She was staring out over the sea when she heard chatter in the distance."

She had recently learned that cyanide was bitter too, so she imagined her thoughts to be little cyanide capsules that would burst, coating her tongue in that sharp lye burn.

The way you imply things... ahh... I love how your writing is so nuanced. Andreaaaa :C

Get home. Now.

We saw your missing bus card.

Where are you even going?

I know her parents care about her, but they could definitely work on their texting tone... I mean, those texts sound so demanding. Couldn't they add a "we love you" or something? :/ At this point, I'm wondering whether anything could have changed Andrea's path. Maybe a kind text from her parents about how they didn't care about her grades as much as they cared about her could have saved Andrea.

She has half a mind to march up to this barricade-putter and demand what gave them jurisdiction over a stretch of dirt and the Pacific ocean.

Typo (should be "had," not "has"). But LOL, I love her little rant. XD

The mermaids had only been recorded coming to the beach at specific intervals.

Hm, really? What specific intervals?

See reefs undiscovered by man? The giddiness overtook her again, turning the pain in her ankle into little more than a whisper. A whole world was before her. What could possibly be more important than that?

She's like a reverse-Little Mermaid. Wishing to give up her legs for a tail...

Ugh. I hated sand.

Same, Narrator, same. :')

and trace constellations out of crustaceans.

Aaah! Love this. =D

Because everyone tells you to have a plan for life, to know who you are. But they never tell you what to do if you’re wrong.

</3 This. Yes.

So how is it that you, killer of none, persecutor of none, would do what the worst dredges of humanity couldn’t?

Hm, you're assuming things, Narrator. I'm afraid I'm a killer... of bugs... >.>

But that’s a story for another time.

One that absolutely does not involve me. Don’t even think about it.

*thinks about it* Now, what other forces could there be? Will we get to meet Time and Space, perhaps? Beings of other planets? >.>

She shook her head and marched back to the street. “I can walk around to the cliffs. Stupid, Andrea.” She made a series of frankly unnecessary frustrated noises as she kicked up more sand than ever.

I feel like the lead-up to getting to the cliff could have been shortened? But honestly, each moment of agony makes meeting the mermaids seem sweeter, so it's just a suggestion.

I saw you weren’t performing—because they always said performing like she was a little computer or a dancer they kept in their pockets for entertainment—like usual.

Aaaa this !! (Excuse me while I fangirl for a moment about your word choice and writing-)

It shot through every inch of her body. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She could feel her beat stop beating instantly.

*heart, not beat
Akslfjaklfjiea, you build up the readers' hopes even while we might be suspecting that things are too good and fantastical to be true, and then really shatter it with this line and "The last thing she saw before her vision faded was an empty ocean and an evaporating mist where the merpeople once were."
This was executed so well. :')

A few hours later, the rocks are taped off by police tape.

*were instead of are

“I don’t think anyone can know that but her.”

T-T
I hope Andrea has found her merpeople friends in the afterlife and is living out her ocean dreams... Do let me know how those crustacean constellations are...

You are seriously such a talented writer, Wist, and I'm in awe of your story-weaving skills. It's been wonderful reading your writing, and I wish you the best with LMS and Blizzard!! =D (Hopefully I can catch you on the doc one of these days, now that school is wrapping up for me! ^^)






Ahhh thank you Mintttt! Both for catching those typos (we both know these are written way later than anything should be) and for all of those lovely compliments. I will definitely revise this with a heavy hand to clean up the pacing and the missing pieces. So thank you for your assistance in that!! ^^ Hope you enjoy your next round of suffering reading!



Spearmint says...


Of course!! And I will XDD <3





Good, good. <3



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Horisun wrote a review...



Hello! Happy Review Day, I hope you're doing well!

This story is heart wrenching. It starts by establishing Andrea's cold reality, then drifts into her fantasy, and ends with a return to the truth.

The connection made between mermaids and suicide was very hard to read, as it should be. I felt an immense amount of dread while Andrea walked up and down the beach, because I thought every paragraph would be her last.

The revelation that Hannah, Tirana, Lia, and Lucas had all met the same fate was, while predictable, extremely upsetting and served your theme perfectly. I don't think any other conclusion would've worked near as well.

I did feel a little confused about some stuff towards the beginning, such as here when we're learning about Lia:

Before the girl could walk away bitter and jealous, the gigglers invited her to join them. The girl waded into the ocean to join those girls, only to never return home. Some say those girls drowned her; the body simply never washed ashore. Some say the girls never existed and the girl just ran away.


I thought, for a moment, that "the girl" was Andrea. This story definitely hit its stride once Andrea ran away from home, but before that, I felt a tad overwhelmed by information. There was a distance between the reader and Andrea in the introduction that there wasn't in the end.

I also didn't think that the narrator was present enough to warrant their interjections. So while I really liked their line here:

You are not special enough to be so viscerally hated as that. Name any evil person, serial killer, dictator, or genocidal mastermind, and I can steer you to armies of people who adore them. People who see the blood on their hands and swoon.


They didn't have a consistent enough presence, so their sudden thoughts jarred me a bit out of the story. I would've liked to see their involvement more throughout.

That being said, this was an extremely well written story. I was swept away by its fantastical elements, only to be yanked right back down to reality. You did a great job characterizing people who only appeared briefly, such as Officer Randall and Hoffman, and I was genuinely distraught when Andrea threw herself off the cliff, even when I saw it coming. (And that's how you write a tragedy!)

Amazing job, all around. Keep on writing, and have a great day! :D






Hello, Horison!

Thank you so much for the review!! I am glad that you enjoyed the story and the ending. I was worried the cut to the police officers would be a bit too on the nose, so thank you for telling me your thoughts on that. As for the Narrator, this is a series of short stories that starts with my work Death, where the Narrator is properly introduced. If you are confused about the presence of the Narrator, I would suggest going back to read the earlier works so you have a better idea of the role they play in the story and the overall universe.



Horisun says...


Oh, my bad! I thought this was a standalone story. The narrator thing makes a lot more sense now!

I love the cutaway to the police officers, personally. It brings the story full circle and was very impactful! I don't think it was on the nose at all, lol





No worries! ^^

Ahhh, I%u2019m glad to hear it :]



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Sun Feb 26, 2023 3:40 pm
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simpleJ wrote a review...



Hello. Following a KateHardy review won't be easy, but I'll do my best.

I'm about 5 minutes in, and you have done a great job helping me understand Andrea's desperate desire to escape the pressures of high school. You show me the numbness she feels.

"Well, she was the head of the debate team in eighth grade. She could handle them."

I laughed at the idea of her negotiating passage with a bunch of giggling mermaids.

"There, right in front of her, was a barricade blocking off the path. On the front was a standard metal sign: “Beach closed.”"

I guess it's not going to be as easy as I thought. Good job adding some trouble.

"She stood up, trying and failing to brush off the sand on her jeans."

The theme of failure seems to be the root cause of her desire to escape and is becoming more apparent.

"Tears started bubbling in the corners of her eyes. “I hope you want me. No one… no one else does. So, I guess I can’t blame you if you find me just as useless as everyone else. But please. I just want to be wanted again.”"

You do an outstanding job depicting the pain she is going through. I can feel how overwhelmed she is by the idea of letting the people she cares about down.

So how is it that you, killer of none, persecutor of none, would do what the worst dredges of humanity couldn’t? What makes you special enough to be hated by the entirety of the human race? Please, I really would like to know.

I'm unsure who this voice belongs to, but I like the contradiction to Andrea's shame. It fits perfectly even though it is unbodied.

"She’d be exaggerating if she claimed to have made it a quarter of the way. She lay flat on her back, feeling defeated. How was she supposed to do this? She couldn’t wait until nightfall. The mermaids would be gone! She couldn’t turn around to get her shoes. She would have to make that awful trek, and besides, it would take so long that the mermaids would be gone! No matter what she did, she was doomed. If she didn’t make her way forward somehow, she’d never become a mermaid and have to live her life in shame as a failure and a runaway. The police would find her, her school would fine her parents because she was truant, and then she’d get tossed in juvy."

Again, you do a great job letting the reader compare the hopelessness of the journey and her inner hopelessness side by side. I'm enjoying this so far, and genuinely unsure where you will take the story next.

"This was easy too. Awesome!"

Nothing good has ever followed a character saying this is too easy. I've got a bad feeling.

"Andrea grinned. “Oh my. Thank you. Thank you so much.” She felt tears spring to her eyes for an entirely different reason this time. This was it. It had all been worth it."

I know this is an unexpected happy moment, but too much story is left for me to be too optimistic. Nevertheless, you did a great job connecting the beginning to the present and showing that it is possible to become a mermaid after all.

"Lia snorted. “A human gets depression; a mermaid gets its tail.”"

HA!

"Lia stroked her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I know it hurts. It’ll be worth it. All that pain is necessary.”"

I don't know if I read too much into something that wasn't there, but after Andrea was in the water, I started having this message of how, to be successful, we must all fail from time to time, but despite the pain of failure sometimes being excruciating, persevering through that pain results in a beautiful mermaid. So correct me if I'm wrong, and I just saw elephants in the clouds again.

"On the beach below, a forensic team lifted a girl’s body into a body bag. Even from this distance, it’s easy to tell she’s young. Far too young to do something like this. Officer Hoffman sighed. “That’s what, the fourth one on this beach alone?”"

I guess no swimming into the sunset, then...



After some reflection, I can honestly say it was a moving piece of writing. Not only did you stomp on the expectation of a happy ending I developed once she found acceptance with the mermaids and had a moment to process the pain she was feeling, but bringing the reader straight back to reality with the police at the end was the perfect way to leave the reader wondering whether it had been real after all. Great job. Grammar aside, I think you do an excellent job creating a character who is so real, and bit by bit, you help the reader understand exactly how what Andrea is going through. I like the mix of fantasy to help talk about a real and common pain many people experience, and I think you have a knack for storytelling. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.






Greetings, simpleJ!

Thank you so much for the review. I am glad to hear that the pain Andrea is going through really resonated with you and carried you through the story. It was the effect I was aiming for, so I am glad to know I achieved it. I am sorry I had to crush your dreams of a happy ending XDD. The pain Andrea was feeling was the pain of most of her bones shattering on impact. As for any confusion for that disembodied voice, that is our lovely Narrator :] They were introduced in the first short story of this collection: Death. If you have any questions regarding who they are and why they are here, I would recommend going back to that story and reading through.



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Thu Jan 19, 2023 8:36 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! I think I'm finally getting to one of these at a (relatively) reasonable time woo!

First Impression: This was heartbreaking. There are so many people in here I just want to hug very much but instead we watch the worst happen. Its a really powerful tale. Everything seems inevitable from the get go and it creates this sense of powerlessness as we march to the end of it and you really truly manage to make us love this person and then crush our hearts thoroughly. That's really well done.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I’m sure my last story left you with some burning questions that even I can’t answer. Did Jackson actually have a warm embrace from Death? Absolutely not, but I can’t precisely say what occurred, either. Only that Death was angry, and every time I try to ask Death what had occurred, Death tended to lose face. And turn into a beast of pure shadow. As for what Lucille found when her spirit was finally cut free from this plane, I can’t say that either. I can only wish she found herself in a nursery, the ghost of some dead infant now in her care. Not the one she would've given birth to, but one that needed some care.

No matter what she finds, I hope she’s happy. It makes me sick how much pain she had gone through. Call me a sap if you dare.


Oh you're a sap. Anyway...this is a lovely start here. Nice little callback to some things that really are burning questions from the earlier part of this and its a lovely place to link things back to the previous one. Seeing a bit more into how Death tends to work is a nice bonus too.

But we’re not here to keep talking about Lucille. We’re here for a new young lady, a few years younger than Lucille. She was fourteen, a truly tumultuous age for humans. Her name was Andrea O’Connell, and she used to be everything her parents dreamed of. In middle school, she always had straight A’s, and her teachers absolutely adored her. Every parent-teacher conference was the same, with cries of “She’s so smart!” and “One of the smartest kids I’ve ever had!” Andrea ate up the attention.

That was all until she went to high school.


Well that does seem destined to end in much disaster there right from just that little introduction. We'll see where it manages to go but well given how the stories in this one often tends to go, there's not a lot of hope we can maintain.

You see, Andrea was used to the whole “high school is hard” and “prepare to be tested” speech. All of her teachers said the same thing about middle school and looked how that turned out! Middle school was a breeze, and she was sure high school would be too.

Until she got her end-of-the-semester report card, a bolded ‘F’ beside her Biology class, she had failed a class for the first time in her life, a failure that would haunt her forever.

From there, everything seemed to spiral. She tried to spend more time studying, only to fall asleep in class and make a complete fool of herself. She tried tutoring, only to get laughed at by the kids she used to surpass easily. Soon enough, her perfect 4.0 turned into a mess of A’s and B’s, all while that one F stared at her with its beady Times New Roman eyes.


Ahhh well truly the most horrifying of ways for things to go wrong. I was expecting something along the lines of bullies or something else, but this, this is definitely much more terrifying and much more powerful as an occurrence here.

Andrea felt like a failure. That’s what F stood for, right? Fail? Fail a class. Fail at school. Fail at life. Fail everything you were supposed to be good at. Fail, fail, fail again.

Apparently, in high school, Andrea was only good at failing.

So, Andrea stopped being her parents’ pride and joy. She stopped being the best student ever. Most of all, she stopped getting attention. No one remembered her. She felt like she was fading away. A part of her wanted to fade away because evaporated people aren’t failures.

That’s what drove Andrea to mermaids.


OOooh well that links to the title. Oh dear. I have a feeling I can guess at how this ends already. Andrea already seems to be in a really bad spot with her ending up in a spiral like that and clearly reaching a incredibly low point in here life here.

Andrea first read about them online. It was the story of a girl just like her, someone who used to be everything and then learned just how quickly silver can tarnish to nothing, who decided that she wasn’t going to just take life beating her over the head with mistakes. So, she wandered to her nearest bluffs, staring out over the sea, when she heard chatter in the distance. She walked down the bluffs until she stood on simple sand, and there, off in the distance, was a group of girls giggling about this or that, and the girl in the article had been so jealous. They were in the middle of the sea, so far out that the water lapped against their shoulders.

Before the girl could walk away bitter and jealous, the gigglers invited her to join them. The girl waded into the ocean to join those girls, only to never return home. Some say those girls drowned her; the body simply never washed ashore. Some say the girls never existed and the girl just ran away.


Well that seems like your standard story there. Seems about par for the course when it comes to someone searching things up online in the current state of mind Andrea happens to be in. Only given this is in a story here, I assume mermaids are real and some things are certainly going to end up going down here.

And some say the girls weren’t girls at all but mermaids with shimmering scaly tails and gills across their necks, and now the first girl is one of them, giggling and living out her days in the sea.

And before you expect me to tell you which one is right, don’t. Which one is true doesn’t matter yet. All that mattered is what Andrea believed. Or, well, wanted to believe.

Because, in reality, Andrea didn’t know what she believed. She knew people were cruel enough to drown someone innocent and unsuspecting, and people were awful enough to turn a teen runaway into a sensation.


Well don't worry Narrator, we can guess well enough. And you do make a lovely point about how it really doesn't matter to the story just quite yet. Really coming in with some profound observations of late aren't you? Jokes aside I think that does a lovely job to show what sort of situation we're about to walk into.

But the world was odd enough for mermaids, too. Andrea wanted her gaggle of mermaids to giggle and chatter with. She wanted a happy ending of swimming off into the deep sea with no report cards, failures, or disappointed parents to worry about.

And that is what led Andrea to write a note to her parents early in the morning when the sky was dark and the world slumbered. She didn’t like spending time alone with her thoughts. They always seemed to be too bitter. She had recently learned that cyanide was bitter too, so she imagined her thoughts to be little cyanide capsules that would burst, coating her tongue in that sharp lye burn. It didn’t make the thoughts hurt less; it just made them easier to describe. Just another cyanide wave, nothing to worry about.


Well that seems quite like to happen. It looks like we're setting off on a journey that Andrea really isn't going to end up coming back from. The narrator's tone does a lot to indicate from the way this is being told to us here. Its a lovely combo because we are very much on the edge of our seats waiting to know what happens next even if you can already guess this doesn't end too well.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am leaving. If my dream comes true, I won’t be back. Goodbye.

She folded the note in half. Then in half again. It wouldn’t stay closed, and the paper kept pushing its way to be a triangle shape. She just left it. A messy note from their screw-up of a daughter—the perfect sentiment, really.


That's a lovely little note there. Not only does it tell us exactly what sort of goal Andrea has in mind and what situation she finds herself in, but it also tells us quite how far she has fallen in her opinion of herself mentally and how far she expects she's fallen in the way others see her.

She left, taking only her clothes, phone, and bus card. She had a card to take the bus and wouldn’t get in trouble with her parents. She would never see her parents again. She stopped for a moment to consider that. That was something people were sad about. They would miss their parents. Never seeing them again would be a tragedy. But Andrea felt this strange sense of numbness. She didn’t care. It’s not like she didn’t want to see her parents. She just didn’t need to see them, either. She just couldn’t care.

So, when she stepped out of her house, hands stained with pen ink, she didn’t feel anxious at all. If she was attacked on these streets, she could easily die. She glanced down at her hands. The black ink smeared across the side of her hand, and it was easy to imagine as blood. Blood someone else would wipe off to hide evidence of a crime. Maybe that should’ve pushed her to turn around and hide in the safety of her home, but she couldn’t even think of that. Would be jumpers be damned, she had a dream to achieve.


This is an interesting couple of paragraphs again. Seeing the little obstacles that Andrea could face really helps us see how exactly has Andrea really fallen here, this one goal that gives her some hope doing enough to keep her going despite all of these many other points that under most other circumstances would have been enough to stop this journey.

She walked to the bus stop, her eyes flitting to the sky above. She couldn’t see the stars where she lived. But they must be amazing out on the open ocean with no light to block them. She swore that she wouldn’t sleep at sea for the first three days. She’d just be transfixed watching the sky.

She paid for one bus ticket and bluntly ignored the driver’s query about why she was alone. She didn’t care if her parents were worried. They didn’t love her anyways. They wanted a perfect straight-A daughter, not whatever she had turned into. Honestly, she was ready to bet that her parents were happy to get rid of her.


Well these thoughts really are blending together quite powerfully here to showcase more and more of both the hope that this little story has instilled within Andrea and also quite how badly she's been treated and how much hat has affected her.

Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of instances where adults had children because someone told them they had to, ending in perfect disaster. But, somehow, Andrea’s parents felt different. They were anguished when they read the note the following day. If Andrea had come to them with her feelings, they would’ve reassured her quickly. But she didn’t give them that choice. She kept all of her pain inside of her.

And like an object that kept all of that pressure inside, it burst. And now Andrea was in a cramped bus headed straight for an idyllic beach just an hour away. It was the same beach from the story. Maybe the girls would still be there, giggling and swimming, and they’d let Andrea into their ranks.


Ooooh well that's a very interesting detail by our Narrator here. It really isn't often you see a story with a premise of this nature that'll have the parents actually be decent there. Now that really sells quite how much Andrea fell just within her own mind and how betrayed she felt from everyone around her in school. It also ends up making this situation feel that much sadder because of all of the ways things could be better.

No one sat next to her on the entire ride. It was still early enough that no one in their right mind, as the saying goes, would ride the bus. She practically buzzed with excitement. The suspense was killing her. She needed those mermaids to be real. She desperately needed them to be real.

An hour later, the sun was finally starting to dip over the horizon, casting everything in a sea of oranges and yellows. Ocean sunrises must make the sea glow. Nothing was blocking its path. She plugged the coordinates for the beach into her phone and started walking. The streets were almost entirely empty here. She wondered how many people had walked this very same path. Was there anyone else who took that same bus route and then walked down the road, the sunrise behind them? Were they excited? Nervous? Skeptical?


Well Andrea really seems to have arrived at the perfect time to potentially run into these mermaids here or at least run into something close enough that could lead her into danger with her hardly having a chance of getting away without harm in some form or the other.

Did they get what they wanted?

She held her head high, feeling freer than she ever had in her life. It didn’t matter how long this process took. She had nothing else to do. And if the mermaids said no…

Well, she was the head of the debate team in eighth grade. She could handle them.

At around six-thirty, she got the first text from her mom. It asked, Where are you?

Andrea swiped it off of the screen. She didn’t have time to focus on something like that.

Another text. Andi, you better respond. We’re worried sick.


Well there begins that little game there. Andrea searching and trying to use this mermaid idea to try and feel some hope while in the background we have the parents panicking and Andrea of course choosing to ignore all of it.

She just cleared that notification too.

Why is your location off?

Andrea put her phone in her pocket. Fine. If they wanted to blow up her phone, she’d just ignore them.

But then it pinged. And then it pinged again. And then several more times until Andrea kept it silent to fix the issue. But then, it started to vibrate. She took it out with a huff of frustration.

Get home. Now.

We saw your missing bus card.

Where are you even going?

Come back before you get hurt.

Andrea.

Andrea!


Well that progression went about as exactly as one would expect. I love the way that you do this. It ends up being far more effective than if you said Andrea was being bothered and she turned the phone off. This slow escalating with multiple reactions shows Andrea wasn't really quite prepared for this and is just sort of running on instinct. It definitely adds towards making this scarier too.

She turned off her phone completely, holding it like a thirty-pound weight. Why were her parents so intent on pretending to want her around? She was the disappointment now. She was only worth it when she was the best.

She threw it to the floor as hard as possible. “Leave.” She stomped on the screen. “Me.” She stomped again. “Alone!” The screen shattered, and Andrea finally stopped, heaving for breath. She yelled in frustration and kicked the ruined remains of the phone. “I hate you!”


Oh that escalated past what I was expecting it to go but that feels surprisingly very natural as a response given exactly how it all started here. You definitely can't help but feel that this decision now made a bit in the heat of the moment is definitely going to come back to haunt Andrea quite a bit.

A pedestrian walking past her gave her a concerned look, but she didn’t care. She had much more pressing issues to worry about. Namely, her walk to the ocean.


Love this little detail here, just to remind us that this isn't exactly a totally isolated place here and that Andrea's actions aren't exactly going completely unnoticed.

“Okay, Andrea. You took the bus. You made it to your stop. Now we just have to make it to the ocean.”

Andrea often talked to herself about what she needed to do. She often felt weird about it until she learned it was a common trait in geniuses. And even though her genius pass has been thoroughly revoked, it was a hard habit to shake. So now, she was just a non-genius who talked to herself.

She was starting to feel bad about it again.


Ahhhhh I just adore the way you add in these tiny details amidst the large picture being constructed. It ends up being two full layers there of Andrea and her actions in the moment and her thoughts and feelings in that and beneath that also Andrea as a person and her own history and personality.

Andrea kept walking down the sidewalk until there was a gap in the fence alongside her. She grinned. There! The opening to the beach path. All she had to do was walk down the path until there was soft beach sand. Oh, she could smell the salt in the air! And she could practically taste the rotting seaweed strewn about the shoreline. The song of the ocean was calling to her very soul! Her new home was just a short walk away.

She turned onto the path, ready to run the last bit until she skidded to a halt.

There, right in front of her, was a barricade blocking off the path. On the front was a standard metal sign: “Beach closed.”


Ooooh well this is about to get interesting. It looks like this beach has some sort of history here. Enough history that was bad enough for the beach to be shut down. Or even if its not history but some sort of tidal issue, its still enough for it to be a major obstacle so seeing how Andrea goes about responding here is going to tell us quite a lot I think.

Andrea just stared, dumbfounded. Who had the authority to close an entire beach? Did someone die? Did several someones die? She has half a mind to march up to this barricade-putter and demand what gave them jurisdiction over a stretch of dirt and the Pacific ocean.

She took a deep breath. There was no time. The mermaids had only been recorded coming to the beach at specific intervals. While Andrea was an ex-genius, she could comprehend basic patterns. And this one told her that marching off to demand answers would only make her lose her chance.

“What am I willing to do to join the sea?”


Well that really is the question there. I love how you take the time to really establish exactly how big of a choice this is going to be and sort of mention both sides of the argument for what exactly Andrea needs to be doing here.

She stared at the barricade. The barricade, as an inanimate object, didn’t stare back. It was rather unbothered by the whole situation, really.

Andrea examined everything again. She had already lost her genius. Why not her rule-follower attitude? What had sitting still and smiling pretty and raising her hand got her? She violated her parents’ wishes by taking a bus and smashing her phone. She could break a few more rules. Beach closed? Yeah. Not on Andrea’s watch.

She took a few steps back and ran at the fence, ready to jump over it.


Well as inevitable as that seemed the entire way through I like how it still does come across as a little bit of a shock to see Andrea gradually be more aware of exactly what she is doing here and just not care about the consequences of any of it in the slightest.

She failed. Miserably, in fact. A rebel attitude did nothing to change the fact she had no athletic training, and the barricade went up to her waist. However, she managed to crash right into it and knock it over. It knocked the breath out of her lungs, but it solved her problem.

She lay on top of the metal, trying to catch her breath. Her ankle throbbed. “Good to know. Jumping over metal. That’s a bad idea.”

The metal did not apologize.


Well that's an interesting one. In most contexts this sort of line is going to be humorous but here we just see Andrea suffering the first of many consequences of where her spiral is going to lead here and I have a feeling the inanimate metal is going to be among the kinder things to Andrea in the times to come with who she'll meet.

She sighed and stood up, wincing as she put weight on her foot. It didn’t matter, though. She was going to make it to the beach. Swimming would feel better on her ankle, anyways. And then she won’t even have ankles anymore!

She continued her journey, now walking on the stone path. She finally had a good view of the ocean, sprawled out in front of her as far as the eye could see. Did mermaids live long to explore every nook and cranny of the sea? Could she make it to depths no human has ever seen? See reefs undiscovered by man? The giddiness overtook her again, turning the pain in her ankle into little more than a whisper. A whole world was before her. What could possibly be more important than that?

When she took her first step on soft sand, she squealed, jumping up and down and making a complete mess of herself. Ugh. I hated sand.


Well this is quite the rollercoaster of emotions there. In the best way of course. We can really see the entire range of emotions Camilla ends up running through with just everything rational within her clashing with her current state of mind and its a powerful little message here.

She grinned and turned her attention back to the water. “Okay, mermaids. Where are you?”

There was no response. The mermaids, if there were any, were painfully silent. Andrea frowned. She had just conquered her first obstacle. She could find a mermaid!

She took a deep breath. “Mermaids! Come out, come out wherever you are!”

She continued her march through the sand until her shoes were filled to the brim. She sighed. “Okay, mermaids. You have until I take my shoes off.”


Okayy this is not the approach I was expecting Andrea to take here, but I suspect instead of this leading to some sort of failure that has Andrea reconsidering her plans here its only going to lead Andrea towards some form of horror or at least some form of danger by going into the waters.

She plopped to the ground and started struggling against her laces. She probably should’ve worn sandals, but she had to pretend to go to school. You can’t go to school in sandals, which was also why she was in jeans and a regular t-shirt. Very unbeachlike attire. They would probably laugh at her for trying to swim in denim if she did find the mermaids.

Andrea finally pulled her shoes off and took a moment to dump out the ludicrous amount of sand in them. She sighed. “I guess I won’t be needing you.” She peeled off her socks and stuffed them inside one of her shoes. “Maybe someone else will find you. They’ll need you more than I do.” She stood up, trying and failing to brush off the sand on her jeans. “Okay, mermaids! Did you hear my warning?”


Ahhh the layers here are something I'm probably not going to stop gushing about. Its so powerful to see how we get to see the inner workings of exactly what conditions Andrea chose to run away in with her school attire. Her wanting to leave the shoes behind for somebody to use is another very interesting detail to throw in there too.

If they did, they certainly weren’t going to tell her. She sighed. “Maybe I’m too far away. I’ll just get closer.”

The ocean was at low tide, and the wet sand was covered in glittering seashells, spread open like butterfly wings. She stopped to admire them, taking in the vivid pinks and oranges. This was a part of her new home. Maybe seashells became her new stars, and she would float upside down in the water and trace constellations out of crustaceans. She grinned. That sounded pretty fun.

She took a deep breath and continued, stepping forward until sea foam lapped at her ankles, soaking the cuffs of her jeans. She frowned. What would happen to her clothes once she transformed into a mermaid? Were they expecting her to arrive already without them? The idea made her shudder slightly. No. If they could give Andrea a tail, her clothes could get an epic transformation too. It’s what she deserved.


Well I think this is another chilling moment because its perhaps a point at which we get a good reminder of quite how young Andrea is and how her thoughts are maybe a little bit naïve in some places too. It adds an additional layer of pain to see this whole situation play out here.

She walked along the ocean, taking another moment to admire how the wet sand and water devoured her footprints until there was no trace of her ever being there. Sometimes, that made her feel small. Like at the end of the day, she didn’t matter. The beach would erase her footprints; her middle school would throw away her school records; her gravestone would erode until her name disappeared. But right now, it just made her feel at home. The ocean didn’t need her footprints. It already had her soul.

“Hey, ocean?”

The ocean responded by crashing into the shore. Maybe the wave in the distance was a little bit taller than before. Maybe it was waving to her. But, that didn’t quite feel very oceany. When she went to the beach on a field trip for the last day of her eighth-grade year, her science teacher, Ms. Bonvill, said that the ocean loved to sing. That’s why conch shells played their music and mermaids formed a chorus. The ocean and all of the life within were just one big symphony. But Andrea wasn’t good at singing and never had an ear for instruments. Would the ocean still want her?


Okayyy well this is really taking off here on the sadness part of things. If we had a more subtle nod towards how bad things were in the first quarter or so, this particular quarter leading into the halfway point has really told us how Andrea sees the world and introduced just how determined she is to fade away from the human word entirely.

She shook her head. No. She had come too far to have silly thoughts like those. She took a second to imagine packing all of her thoughts into a duffel bag and sitting on top of it to zip it up. Then she imagined leaving it on the bus, tucking it under a chair so it was out of the way. She wouldn’t let anything get in her way. There was nothing left for her anyways. If the ocean didn’t want her as kin, if it just let her drown in the waves, preserving nothing but her bruised and battered body in water and salt…

Well, it couldn’t be any worse than failing biology. It couldn’t be worse than losing her life’s purpose. Because everyone tells you to have a plan for life, to know who you are. But they never tell you what to do if you’re wrong.


Well the readiness that Andrea has to be to just lost to time and then to be taken away by the ocean to die is just heartbreaking at this point to see how very far she's managed to fall because no one seems to have spotted this spiral and done something to try and prevent it, at least from what we're seeing here.

She remembered seeing her school therapist in high school. He had heard how amazing she was and was excited to guide her to college.

“You’re a girl who has it all figured out. Hold on to that. It’s so rare, especially at this age.”

Tears started bubbling in the corners of her eyes. “I hope you want me. No one… no one else does. So, I guess I can’t blame you if you find me just as useless as everyone else. But please. I just want to be wanted again.”


Well if that little exchange doesn't sum up exactly how Andrea ended up feeling here, I don't believe there is much else that does actually sum this up. It feels like we're very much priming ourselves for a rather big moment to come here.

I… I must say. You mortals seem to jump to that conclusion quite often. That your world was ending, and everybody had collectively agreed to stop wanting you. It was far too late for Andrea, unfortunately. By the time I found her story, her head was so far deep in that cycle that even if I appeared next to her and tried to pry it out, she would’ve kicked and screamed and cursed my presence. But, you, my reader. Maybe you I can reason with.

You are not special enough to be so viscerally hated as that. Name any evil person, serial killer, dictator, or genocidal mastermind, and I can steer you to armies of people who adore them. People who see the blood on their hands and swoon.

So how is it that you, killer of none, persecutor of none, would do what the worst dredges of humanity couldn’t? What makes you special enough to be hated by the entirety of the human race? Please, I really would like to know.


Well this is an interesting way to put it there Narrator. Its somehow both comforting and insulting at the same time. I have a feeling this is the sort of medium you prefer to operate in however, so I'm not going to question that too much. At any rate at the very least this is spitting some straight facts there even if its not exactly a cushioned blow there.

And Andrea was wanted. She was still wanted if she had truly mastered the impossible and turned all of humanity against her. The forces that hang in the balance outside humanity have taken a strong liken to it, including Andrea.

But that’s a story for another time.

One that absolutely does not involve me. Don’t even think about it.


Well now that you mention I am definitely going to think about it, so course I am going to keep this very much in mind as we proceed further into this here. I have a feeling I have an idea of what force is being talked about here.

Andrea watched the ocean for a moment. It roared from the middle distance, and the waves kept up their eternal cycles of pulling back and rushing forward. She sighed. “The mermaids will tell me.”

She continued on her journey until another barricade loomed in the distance. She froze. She had managed to topple the mighty state barricade, but this…

She couldn’t exactly knock over a cliffside.

“Uh, ocean? What do I do?”

Being a small body of water, the ocean didn’t magically gain the ability to speak and, therefore, didn’t answer her. Oceans had a bad habit of doing that.


Well...that cliff is very much concerning at the moment. And now as we dive in deeper I'm starting to wonder if these mermaids are in fact going to appear at all or if perhaps the real monster is something else entirely to do with a more mental demon. Its hard to say at the moment but this cliff combined with the warning at the start and Andrea's current state is just absolutely not a good condition.

She glanced behind her, trying to see if she had just somehow accidentally passed the mermaids. I don’t know how she could have possibly done so, but who was I to question her?

Alas, no mermaids were behind her, so she settled for speedwalking to the cliff. “Maybe I can scale it! Or swim around it. But these aren’t good swimming clothes, and I’ll be too stiff, and the mermaids will think I’m not good enough.” She cried out in frustration. “What do I do? What do I do?”

There was no one to answer her. She was starting to feel hopeless. Her duffel bag of doubts was starting to feel less left on the bus and more currently knocking her to the floor. “I’m trying my best here! Why isn’t that enough?”


Well we can see her hope really starting to kick towards some hints of frustration and several other emotions that seem to be streamlining Andrea towards making a rash decision she is probably not going to recover all too easily from. This definitely isn't heading anywhere remotely good.

She huffed and kicked at the ocean, spraying water at an incoming wave.

“Okay, think, Andrea, think!”

She turned back around, facing the street parallel to the sea. “Right! Oh, I’m so stupid! It’s that easy.”

She shook her head and marched back to the street. “I can walk around to the cliffs. Stupid, Andrea.” She made a series of frankly unnecessary frustrated noises as she kicked up more sand than ever. It clung to her jeans and was somehow coating her legs too. It had to be an agonizing experience, to say the least, but she kept trucking along like it was fine. I wanted to brush off my legs in sympathy.

Once Andrea made it to the street, having kicked enough sand to fill a few dozen terrariums, she faced one massive problem.


Well this little moment of Andrea not being happy with herself and starting to question everything is really playing up the danger of it all here. You can sense the narrator's sympathy in this one too bleeding through it all and its a good nod for it to be consistent like this towards each being in terms of the narrator treating them for how good of a person they are.

Andrea had notably sacrificed her shoes to the needy, and now they were on the other side of the beach, which was at least half an hour's walk. She groaned. “It’s okay, Andrea. By the time you’re a mermaid, you won’t need shoes! You’ll never forget your shoes again.” She laughed, gulping as she quickly approached the hot, blistering street. “Ignore that you’ve never forgotten your shoes before! Because your usual hobbies don’t include discarding them.”

She reached the edge of the sand. “Oh, dear. Why did I have to take off my socks? Mermaids, please be there. Please, please, please!” She lifted her foot and placed one toe on the pavement. She pulled away with a yelp. The concrete was scorching, just as she predicted. She squeezed her eyes shut and stepped down. The heat wave almost made her sick, but she placed her other foot down. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she took another agonizing step forward. She tried to imagine the ocean. The ocean would help.


Andrea really does seem to be relying on this belief to try and overcome everything here. At this point you do certainly get that confirmation that we've entered the point where its a point of no return for Andrea. The Narrator did sort of mention this earlier, but this is the first time that we see it for sure.

She’d swim with her mermaid friends to water so clean you could see the deepest depths of it. And it would be that teal water you see in the tropics. And she could make friends with all the fish because everyone knew mermaids could talk to fish, and all the fishermen would stop fishing and get new jobs because everyone knew that fishermen had to listen to mermaids. Being a mermaid would be so fantastic that she would forget what it even felt like to have feet, so she definitely wouldn’t remember this burning. And everything would be fine and perfect and just amazing. Completely, utterly, entirely, other words for completely amazing.

Andrea opened her eyes just enough to see a sliver of shade cast across the concrete. She sprinted for it, practically sobbing in relief once the ground was cool enough for nausea to calm down. She promptly collapsed into a sitting position, sobbing freely. It hurt. Her feet hurt so, so bad. She decided to glance back at the cliffs behind her. Maybe it would help to know how much progress she had made. It had to be a lot, right?


Aww the pain at these scenes is just reaching another level. As a reader all you want to do is scoop poor Andrea up into a hug and tell her its all going to be okay but instead much like the Narrator we're forced to watch what appears to be a rather prolonged and sad end to this quest that at the moment seems to be only leading to Andrea's doom.

She’d be exaggerating if she claimed to have made it a quarter of the way. She lay flat on her back, feeling defeated. How was she supposed to do this? She couldn’t wait until nightfall. The mermaids would be gone! She couldn’t turn around to get her shoes. She would have to make that awful trek, and besides, it would take so long that the mermaids would be gone! No matter what she did, she was doomed. If she didn’t make her way forward somehow, she’d never become a mermaid and have to live her life in shame as a failure and a runaway. The police would find her, her school would fine her parents because she was truant, and then she’d get tossed in juvy.

Andrea stared up at the cliff face that was about to ruin her life. How could a pile of rocks be so cruel? They didn’t even have a brain! She huffed. What could she possibly do here?


Well there comes the real nail in the coffin once again. That point of no return coming into show that Andrea really doesn't think failing at this would end up in anything remotely good for her and so she would much rather hurt and pursue this moment than think of going back and trying again at another less painful time.

That’s when a brilliant idea sprouted to life in her head. The cliff looked much more climbable from this angle. And sure, she was barefoot, but no matter what she did, she would suffer. She could scale the rocks and get around them that way! No need for tickets or juvy. The world was saved!

She stood up slowly, trying her best to avoid stepping on the scorching bits of concrete. This was fine. She could do this. She would do this! She held on to the edge of the rock and found her first foothold, very unsteadily pulling herself up until she was entirely on the rock. This was perfect! Absolutely perfect. She awkwardly bent her leg and found a new spot. This was easy too. Awesome!


Oh no, no no darling. Not the cliff. This is definitely not going to end well. I have a feeling that this climb is going to be just as painful as the concrete but also its not going to have a particularly good ending there.

The next time she braced her foot against the rock, it slipped, and she cut herself. She could feel the blood start to wet the sole of her foot, the cut stinging. She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter at all.” She braced on that foot and stepped up to the next foothold. She had come too far to turn around. Besides, no feet equaled no cut. It would all sort itself out soon. She kept climbing until she could finally pull her knees to the top of the cliff. She collapsed on top of it, gasping for breath. She hadn’t noticed during the trek up, but that had taken so much strength. And her P.E. teacher said she was doomed to be out of shape forever. She grinned. This was it.

After sufficiently catching her breath, she unsteadily rose to her feet. “Take that, rocks!” She laughed, running around in a victory circle before the stinging cut on her foot stopped that. “Ow. Right. Ow!” She huffed. How was she supposed to walk through the sand with an open wound? That was asking for an infection. Had the rocks won, after all? Was she doomed always to be defeated by a very malicious pile of stones?


Ouch. Well yup that went about as well as I thought it would. Poor Andrea has to suffer despite all of that after all and even the small victory that she does manage to achieve there is cut short almost instantly long before Andrea can get anywhere close to a spot of happiness.

Before she could sit down and wallow in defeat again, she heard a sharp giggle float in the air. She furrowed her eyebrows. No one was on the cliff. Who could possibly be laughing? And were they laughing at her? She walked to the cliff's edge, peering at the sand below. Nope. No people down there either. Was she hallucinating? Were failure-induced hallucinations a thing?

Narrator popping in there. No. You may continue.

Andrea groaned. “This is stupid. This is so stupid. I should’ve never failed biology. I should’ve never attended high school. I should’ve never been special in eighth grade. I never should’ve been born!” She stomped her foot, heaving for breath.

“Well, that’s just silly talk.”

Andrea whirled around, but there was no one behind her. “Hello? Who’s there?”


Oh well so the mermaids are real after all. And in the worst I think. Cause I am very certain exactly how Andrea is going to have to go ahead and join those mermaids here and I am even more certain of exactly what will happen to Andrea as she does said thing to join those mermaids.

“Down here, silly! Come on.” There was a splash of water.

Splash. Water. Down. Mermaid.

Mermaid.

Andrea sprinted to the edge of the cliff over the water.

Four people were in the water—a pale redhead with a braid over each shoulder, a black girl with navy blue cornrows, a Hispanic girl with dark curly hair tied back into a low bun, and a Korean man with a black buzzcut. The Hispanic girl waved. “Hello! We heard you up there. Are you alright?”


Well... on the bright side these merfolk only look cheerful and helpful for the moment. The beckoning to come down there isn't great and it seems primed for well...death there but it looks like at least on the surface from what we're seeing these mermaids aren't necessarily malicious at the moment.

Andrea blinked. How many people had asked that since her epic fail? Hey, Andrea. I saw you weren’t performing—because they always said performing like she was a little computer or a dancer they kept in their pockets for entertainment—like usual. Are you alright? Because they only cared about the answer if it was an answer that would let them fix Andrea, turn her back into the perfect machine she always had been. “Honestly…” She sat down on the cliff, staring down at the people. “Not too well.”

The redhead frowned. “Oh? Mind sharing?”

Andrea sighed. “Well, I ran away from home, smashed my phone, left my shoes on the beach, burned and cut my feet, and now I need you four to be mermaids, or I will have nothing to show for it.”


Well at the very least it looks like we've got someone willing to listen to Andrea and this time Andrea manages to actually get it all out to someone. Just maybe this is going to lead to some sort of salvation for her although I have no doubt whatever bit of happiness ends up happening here is going to be kind of brief.

The four people in the water exchanged a glance. The man spoke first this time. “You heard of the mermaids?”

Andrea nodded. “Yeah! I heard the story of Lia Serrano. Some people said she disappeared on this beach because she joined the mermaids. I wanted to join her. And the rest of you, really.”

The Hispanic girl glanced at her companions before looking back up at Andrea. “I’m Lia Serrano.”

Andrea gasped. “So it’s true?”

Lia took a deep breath. “Around four months ago, when I was walking home from school, I took a detour and decided to walk to the beach. It was busy that day, so I climbed the rocks for some peace. That’s when I heard them.” She looked at the three others again. “And I finally found home. So, welcome to the merfolk. You found us.”


Hmm...well that's interesting. If this is in fact the truth being told there I have the feeling the merfolk here are people that one can join while one dies at the same time. Its hard to say at this point because it is very vague there and there's every chance this is all a lie for Andrea to be tricked into death but well things are certainly going forward fast from this point, that much is clear.

Andrea grinned. “Oh my. Thank you. Thank you so much.” She felt tears spring to her eyes for an entirely different reason this time. This was it. It had all been worth it.

The redhead grinned. “What’s your name, o’ searcher of the merfolk?”

Andrea sniffled. “Andrea. Andrea O’Connell.”

The redhead nodded. “Well, I’m Hannah Mark.”

The man waved. “I’m Lucas Byun.”

“And I’m Tariana Smith.” She smiled, giving Andrea a two-fingered salute.


Well this is our tiny little bit of wholesomeness it seems. I'm going to treasure this and then pretend like I expect this to end well even though its pretty hard to imagine there being an actually good ending here. At least Andrea gets to smile and feel like she accomplished something there.

Andrea couldn’t help but giggle as her tears spilled over. Four whole merfolks. Honestly, thinking mermaids this whole time was rather insensitive. Of course, there would be mermen. And mernonbinary people! She shoved that aside. That wasn’t important right now. “It’s nice to meet you.” She sniffled, wiping her eyes.

Lia smiled softly. “It’s nice to meet you too, Andrea. Now, let’s talk about what you were saying before I stopped you. Why do you think you don’t deserve to be born?”

Andrea waved her hand dismissively. “I only thought that when I couldn’t find you guys. Now that you’re here, I don’t think that!”

Tariana narrowed her eyes. “For some reason, I highly doubt that.”

Andrea frowned. “Well, you shouldn’t.”


Well well it looks like Andrea is also going to get a talk that perhaps she very much needed to have sooner with a therapist. I can't decide between being terrified of what this might lead Andrea to do and being happy that someone is going to try and get Andrea to think about this and perhaps heal at least a little.

Tariana swam closer to the rocks. “Things like that don’t flip-flop around overnight. You felt that way before you heard about us, and it didn’t change when you met us.”

Andrea flushed. “What?” She forced herself to laugh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

But she did. They were completely correct. She thought she should’ve never been born when she first got that F in biology. That’s when she lost her life purpose. That’s when she should’ve died and been left behind and abandoned, and woah, where did all of that come from?

Tariana sighed. “You just had the moment, huh?”

Andrea blinked. “The moment?”


Well that's quite something. It seems maybe my little theory from earlier did come to pass just a bit. At any rate the way the merfolk works seems linked to it and we can see that Andrea here does actually end up realizing something there as a result of that. Whether this is going anywhere good as a result of course is still very debatable.

Tariana nodded. “Everyone who becomes merfolk has a reason. But it all leads to one thing.”

Lucas sighed. “We all think we deserve to die.”

“That we should’ve never been born.” Hannah nodded. “Such is a merfolk’s birth.”

Lia snorted. “A human gets depression; a mermaid gets its tail.”

Andrea blinked. All four of those people knew exactly how she felt? They woke up with the same hollow feeling in their chest, and no matter what they did, nothing would fix it?

Andrea sniffled. “And you tried all of the therapists?”


Well this is quite an emotional rollercoaster all over again there. To see Andrea able to connect with people who know what she feels like and is able to both identify it for her and point it out to her and maybe get her to feel less alone in it. That's really quite a wholesome moment but at the same time its a rather sad reality too to have so many people in this state.

Lia, Tirana, and Hannah nodded, but Lucas just scoffed. “I didn’t get that luxury. Men are supposed to be tough, remember?”

Andrea cringed. “And you did the very best you could?”

“There was nothing left to do!” Tariana huffed. “I had done everything but wasn’t good enough.”

“And you failed at the one thing you were always destined to be good at.” Andrea finished with ease. “And no matter what you did at the point, the damage had already been done. You were nothing.”

The four of them just watched her, like they had just seen her from a new angle and discovered some part of her previously uncovered. Lia smiled. “You’re definitely merfolk material.”

Andrea let out a choked sob. “I would hope so at this point because no human wants me. No one wants me anymore.”


And there is comes to a head there. As much as we have some healthy conversation that could perhaps lead to some sort of healing down the line we can see Andrea's fears and feeling take center stage and we have to wonder exactly how badly this might end up going, and just how alive these merfolk happen to be. And exactly how much Death is doing here.

Hannah shook her head. “We do. We do, Andrea. Don’t say that.”

Andrea wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

Tariana nodded encouragingly. “It’s okay. We’ve all been here before.”

“But you never have to be here again.” Lia smiled, and it was so warm, much warmer than anything Andrea had ever seen. “Because you’re going to be one of us now. And the waves will wash over you, and that feeling evaporates.”

Andrea sniffled. “Really? Just like that?”

Lucas nodded. “Just like that.” He snapped, the noise echoing up the rocks and straight into her heart. Andrea grinned. Just like that. Just like that, she would be worth something again, loved and wanted again.


Well there comes the real danger there. That's the part where you have to wonder if these merfolk are alive and trying to be helpful or are dead in some way and just wandering about luring people who feel this way to their death and there's the question of is that malicious or if they truly believe this is a thing that fixes all and Andrea would get to join them in being happier together. Well either way things are really hitting that climax now I see.

“Okay. Tell me what to do.”

Lia clapped. “Good, good. Well, it’s simple, really. You just… jump.”

Andrea furrowed her eyebrows. “Jump? Like from the rocks into the water?”

Hannah nodded. “It’s not that high. You’ll be fine.”

Andrea took a step away from the edge. “But jumping into water hurts. Because of cohesion and surface tension. I might as well be jumping onto a bag of bricks.”

Tirana laughed. “That’s from way higher up. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”


Oh nope nope nope. This is not going well at all. Its quite clear how this encouragement is going to end there but ahh the consequences of all of it really is doing so so much here to keep us so close to the edge of our seats here as we read on.

Andrea shook her head. “No! That’s insane. I can’t jump.”

Lucas sighed. “Come on, Andrea. You’ve made it this far! Final stretch!”

Andrea eyed the water. It’s not like she could measure the fall and see if their claims were accurate. Was that a chance she was willing to take?

“Andrea. Look at me.” She looked at Lia, who was back to smiling softly. “We’ve all made this jump before. And yes, it will be scary. But it will be worth it.”

Andrea swallowed. “But-“

“But what, Andrea?” Lia sighed. “Let’s say you do turn around. Then what? You go back to the life that’s always made you feel worthless? What do you gain from that?”


Oh these arguments are just far too effective here especially for Andrea in her current state. These four area really going ahead an leveraging every point that is going to sway thing to their point of view here. I don't think Andrea stands a chance here.

Andrea sighed. “What if I jump and it doesn’t work?”

Hannah circled to float by Lia’s side. “What if you jump and it does?”

Andrea took a deep breath. “Then it would be the greatest thing in my life.”

Tirana joined Lia’s other side. “So, come on! You got this!”

Andrea took another step back. “Okay! I’m… I’m going to do it!”

Because in the end, the worst thing that would happen is she would fall to her death. And that would still be better than going home to her failed grades and disappointed family.

Lucas clapped. “We all knew you could do it, Andrea!”


Well there we go...that's the end game there...and its definitely headed one singular terrible way and honestly now I'm just waiting to find out what the narrator has to say about these merfolk and how they operate here. Because I have to know if Andrea at least gets a teeny tiny chance at happiness instead of just this immense pain and death to follow here.

Andrea grinned. It was her first genuine smile since her grade started falling. “Watch out! I’m coming in!”

The four merpeople cheered as Andrea sprinted. She didn’t think about anything else. She was going to be a mermaid. A beautiful, free, life-loving mermaid. She closed her eyes as she approached the cliff, squealing as there was suddenly nothing but air underneath her feet.

“Andrea! Andrea! Andrea!” All four of them chanted in unison as she fell. Andrea’s stomach swooped, and she felt sick, alive, and so free all at once.

And then she hit the water.

And she never knew such pain could exist.

It shot through every inch of her body. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She could feel her beat stop beating instantly.


Well yup that went exactly as well as you would expect that to go. And well at the very least something will end up happening with Andrea here now. The build up of all of this pain and this collision course to horror has finally, finally reached its end.

Lia stroked her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I know it hurts. It’ll be worth it. All that pain is necessary.”

Andrea couldn’t respond. She couldn’t breathe long enough to choke out a word. She couldn’t move her broken neck enough to nod. Her vision tunneled.

Lia smiled, but it seemed… hollow now. Lia seemed hollow. “It’s alright. Just breathe.”

Andrea stopped fighting and just let herself blackout. The last thing she saw before her vision faded was an empty ocean and an evaporating mist where the merpeople once were.


Hmm well the spirits being a mirage theory does seem accurate then judging solely on the description that we're seeing here although I'm assuming that maybe the narrator will have a little more to say. At any rate we do seem to be at the end here.

A few hours later, the rocks are taped off by police tape. Officer Elsa Hoffman, a tired woman who wanted to go home to see her kids, crossed the line with a sick feeling in her stomach. She approached Officer Timothy Randall, an old coworker of hers. “Talk to me, hotshot. What’s going on?”

Officer Randall sighed, fixing his glasses. “Forensics thinks it’s suicide. No evidence of foul play.”

On the beach below, a forensic team lifted a girl’s body into a body bag. Even from this distance, it’s easy to tell she’s young. Far too young to do something like this. Officer Hoffman sighed. “That’s what, the fourth one on this beach alone?”

“Fifth.” Officer Randall shook his head. “Don’t forget that boy last spring.”


Well those numbers certainly do match up there and you can safely say that we do have ourselves a strong phenomenon there, enough for it to be relatively provable there. I'm certainly curious enough at this point to really really want to know more instead of a little bit of a sad wrap up here on the mortal side of things.

Officer Hoffman hissed. “A real hotbed. How do people stomach coming here? Knowing that kid after kid keeps throwing themselves off of this cliff. Makes me sick.”

Officer Randall shrugged. “People don’t think about it, I guess. It’s not like they can change it now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Give me the information. Who was this girl?”

“An Andrea O’Connell. Parents noticed she was missing around six-thirty am. She left a note for them saying that she hoped not to return. She was caught on camera riding a bus to the Missonary Beach Station, and appears to have walked from there.”

“And no one stopped her?”

“Nope.”

Officer Hoffman groaned. “Unbelievable.”


Hmm well that's a nice bit of extra sadness to just tack on there because it seems we're not done being thrown the worst details of all of this here. We're getting some really powerful lines tossed about here as a result.

She imagined her little girl, who had just turned five a month ago, growing up to do something like this. How did Andrea’s parents never notice? She must’ve felt so alone.

Officer Randall sighed. “You can’t blame every pedestrian for not keeping her safe.”

“You’d understand if you had kids.”

He snorted. “Never going to happen. Just because you and the missus couldn’t wait to have them doesn’t mean my wife and I feel the same way.”

“I know, I know. But have a heart. I’d rather be driving a crying teenager home than watching forensics drag away her body for an autopsy.”


Well that's certainly quite the interesting conversation. I think it lends itself really well to showcasing just how human these officers are here. For two characters just wrapping up the very end so briefly you infuse quite a lot of life and character into them here.

“That was nothing to do with having children. That’s called being a decent human being. But you still can’t blame every pedestrian. It’s not illegal for teenagers to be outside.”

Officer Hoffman sighed. “I hate it when you’re right, you know?”

Officer Randall sighed and pulled her into a side hug. “I’m sorry. I know you hate these cases.”

She sighed. “But there’s nothing to be done. I just wish I knew what made her jump.”

“I don’t think anyone can know that but her.”


Well that's a chilling line to end on. We end up feeling for these officers too ultimately and just that comes to a wrap with absolutely no signs of things getting good. I sense a slight pattern almost. A glimmer of hope in story one, just total destruction in two, some sort of vengeance and hope in three and total sadness in four.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, another powerful addition to this collection here. Perhaps he saddest one yet. Its a close race with this and the previous one, with this one being worse because its so many souls that ended up having no one to understand them and help them out. I think the choice to have it be vaguer towards the end adds on nicely to the effect as well. Well I'm gonna go get some tissue now.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.
— T. H. White