Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


Seventeen

by Em16


Seventeen lingers around my form, like bits of dew
On the freshly mown grass of my front lawn.
I turned seventeen yesterday, and I have not yet
Figured out how the title fits me.

What does it even mean, this twisting number
That alights and disappears like a hummingbird
Beautiful wings flying faster than I can see
Can I pinpoint the heart of this age, this abstraction?

At times, it is calm. My hair tangled in the grass
I can almost feel the earth rotating under my head
Or maybe that’s just the sound of myself growing up
Slowly, oh so slowly, and then all at once.

At times, it is chaos. The squirrels run over my legs
And the leaves settle around my overgrown fingernails
I can see time slipping, and I think of all I have missed
Crying desperately over the woes of adolescence.

At times, it is uncertainty. I turn to the hanging trees
And ask their shapely boughs to predict what new wrinkles
Will mar the innocence of my doe-like eyes. Will I return
To the shape of my childhood, or will I find a new one?

No voice brings clarity, no thought signals the dawn,
While questions trickle like a stream into an ocean.
Yet, with the fragile balance of untried youth, I go on
Praying my ignorance need not hinder me. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
12 Reviews


Points: 13
Reviews: 12

Donate
Thu Jun 30, 2022 8:01 am
View Likes
stevebayor wrote a review...



Well-done Em16. This was an interesting piece. It was beautiful to read and I feel every teenager will relate effortlessly. I particular liked the imagery, the metaphors were vivid and interesting. However, you could work more on your punctuations and use of upper/ lower cases. Every line does not have to start with an upper case, especially when it is flowing from a sentence in the previous line. Apart from these observations, i see this as an amazing piece of art. Well done once again. I hope you keep writing




User avatar


Points: 130
Reviews: 4

Donate
Tue Jun 28, 2022 12:32 am
View Likes
Istellur wrote a review...



I get this poem a lot, ecsipally being 17 myself, the sense of childhood slowly fading away is something that I understand. Though I say that I've personally rounded the corner, I can still remember being afraid of going around and facing all the issues with no way of going back. I like the imagery that you use here, from the hummingbird and wings to the ocean at the end. My only issue would be that there are some awkward breaks here and there but there don't ruin the poem. Overall, nice work!




Em16 says...


Thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it.




I feel like it will be absolute hotdog water, but oh well. It's just a draft.
— Charm