Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic


Insecure

by anne27


Pose in front of a camera

Wearing a fake smile;

A real one doesn’t last enough

For a camera to capture it.

Then they wonder why the picture came out unsightly.

-

Listen to advice been given

About the scars on my face;

No one cares about the struggle behind

For it isn’t visible, they’re blind.

Then they wonder why I don’t take criticism politely.

-

Keep allowing them revisit old ‘memories’

Commenting about your looks;

The crazy faces you made then were clicked

For they were to be mocked when you’ll be insecure.

Then they wonder why I don't take jokes lightly.

-

You know?

Or do you wonder too?


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar


Points: 3
Reviews: 3

Donate
Thu Jan 27, 2022 5:00 pm
View Likes
AtomicSpaceKid wrote a review...



I feel the subtle anger behind almost each line of this poem. It has good length and storytelling. I like the way you ended it with a question, leaving the reader to wonder for themself. It’s a good way to keep an air of mystery behind your writing.

“A real one doesn’t last enough
For a camera to capture it.“

I loved this line. It just seems so raw and true.

The only critique I have to offer is to try to keep a ‘flow’ to your writing. The structure and format of the poem itself is nice and clean but the word flow seems a little choppy to me. Try to keep a similar syllable count throughout your sentences. (But that’s just my opinion on word ‘flow!!’) Other than that it’s a great poem! Keep up the good work :]




anne27 says...


Thanks for the review AtomicSpaceKid! I'll keep the critique in mind ;)



User avatar
79 Reviews


Points: 45
Reviews: 79

Donate
Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:41 pm
View Likes
AriesBookworm wrote a review...



Pose in front of a camera

Wearing a fake smile;

A real one doesn’t last enough

For a camera to capture it.

Then they wonder why the picture came out unsightly.


Already, we see that this is someone who is pretending to be happy. This person may want to be happy, but they aren't at the moment.


Listen to advice been given

About the scars on my face;

No one cares about the struggle behind

For it isn’t visible, they’re blind.

Then they wonder why I don’t take criticism politely.



This is a person under a lot of stress and so when do get criticism they crumbled under the pile of stress that's already piled on top of them.



Keep allowing them revisit old ‘memories’

Commenting about your looks;

The crazy faces you made then were clicked

For they were to be mocked when you’ll be insecure.

Then they wonder why I don't take jokes lightly.



This seems to be someone who has become ashamed of their past, perhaps because of other people taunting them.

Overall: This was a really good poem! Keep writing.




anne27 says...


Thanks for the review! <3




Why do we only rest in peace? Why don't we live in peace too?
— Alison Billet