I feel the subtle anger behind almost each line of this poem. It has good length and storytelling. I like the way you ended it with a question, leaving the reader to wonder for themself. It’s a good way to keep an air of mystery behind your writing.
“A real one doesn’t last enough
For a camera to capture it.“
I loved this line. It just seems so raw and true.
The only critique I have to offer is to try to keep a ‘flow’ to your writing. The structure and format of the poem itself is nice and clean but the word flow seems a little choppy to me. Try to keep a similar syllable count throughout your sentences. (But that’s just my opinion on word ‘flow!!’) Other than that it’s a great poem! Keep up the good work :]
Points: 3
Reviews: 3
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