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Chronic Pain Sucks Actually

by Mooilky


The fuzz in my chest sucks up static.

Shocking, it clings to my lungs and I feel 

hungry, 

nauseous, 

sadly cautious.

Pain doesn’t stop.

Awareness ebbs in waves.

Resting like zippers racing through my brain.

Information falling out of place.

Static buzzing 

clinging to the nape of my neck.

I can breathe but there's 

no

air 

yet.

What do I want

What do I want

What do I want

What can I have?

I am sad.

Don’t want to be in pain.

Want to relax.

Stretch out these aches,

feel the snap crack pop of

my joints back in place.

Tension, 

a desire to do things.

Pain, 

preventing the process.

I could be so much more than a person paused by panic.

I could cry and still feel empty but for the static.

What am I processing right now?

Dribbled on the edge of my eyelash,

dripping sweat behind my knees.

I yearn and reach for sleep

only to feel unease.


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432 Reviews


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Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:14 am
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Gosh, this poem was so evocative. I loved the desperation you were able to convey with all the line breaks and variations in lines. I don't suffer from chronic pain, so I can only imagine how difficult it is. I think this poem took a very raw and emotional look on it, and I loved the contrast between the content and the tongue-in-cheek title. Nice job!

One thing I loved about this was how well you played with similar sounds. Because of the differences in line lengths and syllables, there wasn't a hard and fast rhyme scheme, but you still managed to work in some assonance and slant rhymes to create a rhythm, which worked to also add to that desperation and suffering from your speaker. It was especially noticeable with "naseous/cautious," "waves/brain," "neck/yet," "aches/place," "panic/static," and "knees/unease." I think these slant rhymes/similar sounds were a really nice touch, because although they don't overtly rhyme, they still help that rhythm and make it more poem like, along with creating a really nice tone to the overall poem.

Specifics

What do I want

What do I want

What do I want

What can I have?


The repetition here was staggeringly stunning. I loved the shift in what the speaker was questioning, again showcasing their suffering. It was just a really powerful set of lines.

dripping sweat behind my knees.


I really enjoyed this bit of sensory appeal. Again, I don't suffer from chronic pain, but there have been times when I've been in pain that you're just so aware of all the discomfort. That specificity of the location of sweat was so good at pulling me into the shoes of the speaker of the poem. Really nice work.

Overall: great job!! I think this poem has a lot of great rhythm and emotional lines that make it into a quite enjoyable read. I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!!





Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?
— Obi-Wan Kenobi