Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure


Survival: The Escape, Chapter 13.1

by HarryHardy

Chapter 13

This is the Plan that Could Get Us Killed


"Alright everyone," began Mr.Haber, speaking up first," I know this is probably a lot to take in but now that you all said yes we're locked in, there's no way to change these things last minute. For better or for worse you guys now hold all our lives in your hands."

"So no pressure," prompted Harry.

Mr. Haber cracked a smile," Exactly. No pressure at all. Just ten million lives. A fraction of a percentage of what the human race once was."

"But still a lot," added Daisy.

"Yes," came a voice from the corner. It was Ryan. Daisy almost jumped out of her seat. Man that guy stays silent way too much. 

"Okay, let's move onto planning this out shall we?" said Mrs. Kane.

"So where do you plan on starting the scouting?" asked Ms. Johnson.

"Umm...I guess we need to first figure out where exactly we can meet at?" said Harry," from what I know the three of us are from three different sectors."

"Yes," said Ryan.

"I'm pretty far away from here," said Kathryn," but I do have duty somewhere nearby, at least close to this location. I don't know how far off you guys live."

"Pretty close," said Aria," and the three of us are in the same hall, so we're good. But uhh, I don't think I've seen either of you anywhere near that."

"Yeah you wouldn't have, I'm like block P," said Kathryn.

"And I am from block Z," added Ryan. Daisy nodded slowly. Of course. That's why I've never heard of him. He's from the other end of camp.

"Right, we're all block H," said Aria.

"And the gate is closest to Block B," said Mr. Summers," which is nowhere near the center of where either of you are. Well, I suppose luck is not in our favor for that one."

"All three of you have different routes to The Hub if my memory is correct," said Mr. Haber.

"Yes," said Evelyn," Z is definitely nowhere near H."

"It's in an 8,9,9 pattern if I remember correctly," said Kathryn," so A-H in one route, then I-Q on another route and R-Z is yet another route."

"Precisely," said Mrs. Kane," so you will need to meet at The Hub or somewhere that is off the usual pathways. Well this could've maybe been a bit more ideal, but we'll have to work with what we have."

"Wouldn't The Hub be maybe a little too easy Alice?" asked Ms. Johnson," It’s a little hard to sneak out from the literal center of camp."

"Definitely not The Hub," said Mr. Summers,"you don't want to be anywhere near that with anything remotely suspicious. That's where their surveillance is tightest. It's okay to pass through quickly but do not hang around for a conversation longer than a couple of minutes."

"So that's out," said Harry.

"How about we just all go through The Hub tomorrow and then find a location together, like we walk through in staggered five second intervals or something and make it happen?" suggested Aria.

"Depends on the duty points," said Ms. Johnson," Kathryn, Ryan where are you two supposed to be at that time?"

"I've got like early morning," said Kathryn," maintenance of the library computer systems...which will be a problem because at that time of night I should be asleep, or at least in my quarters. The whole place is dark at that point."

"Yaa...when we get off duty it is dark," said Harry," there is not a single light near The Hub at all."

"Ryan?" asked Ms. Johson.

"For me it should be relatively fine. I get off sometime in the evening or actually pretty much night I suppose. About one hour before the lights are turned out. But then I'm pretty close to home and therefore pretty far from The Hub so by the time I can make it there you guys should be off duty. And since I work in the furnishings area, it's technically open 24/7 for small repairs and I occasionally run the night shifts even though I'm technically not old enough for that. As long as it was on days my father was feeling ill the aliens didn't really care. So I could easily be out at that time and use that excuse."

"Perfect. finally some good luck," said Mrs. Kane," so it shouldn't be too big of a deal for the five of you to 'accidentally' run into each other near The Hub."

"Yeah coincidences are so useful aren't they?" said Harry.

"Very useful," agreed Mr. Haber, nodding with a smile.

"So I'm the one who's going to have to sneak out?" asked Kathryn, shifting slight in her seat.

"I guess you could always get an issue in the plumbing," said Daisy.

"No, there are routes that are much shorter than the ones through The Hub," said Mrs. Kane," that would be a pretty poor excuse."

"Is there a better one though?" asked Mr. Haber, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"You could get 'lost'?" suggested Mr. Summers.

"All they need to do is take one look at her records and there is no way that they are going to buy that," said Mrs. Kane, leaning back with a sigh. "Sorry, I just want to make this as low risk as possible. Last thing we need is the kids being questioned just days out from the actual...operation."

"Yeah we can't just any excuse," added Ms. Johnson, with a nod.

"What about..." began Jake.

"I think I have one," said Kathryn, suddenly brightening up.

"Yaa?" asked Mrs. Kane.

"What if the route through the Hub was the only way to make it to the plumbing section?" said Kathryn.

"Okay what are you getting at exactly?" asked Ms. Johnson," there's no way to block off one route if that is what you are asking."

"But there is, isn't it?" said Kathryn," accidents can happen. Especially with plumbing."

“You mean mess something up so badly that one of the pipes in the walls blow up?" asked Mr. Haber, a twinkle of excitement in his eye.

"Yes," said Kathryn.

"But that would require you to hit precisely the perfect part of the plumbing in several bathrooms at once," said Mr. Summers, not looking convinced.

"Can't be too hard to figure that sequence out," said Kathryn," besides we don't actually have to cause a big plumbing problem. Just one that can look like something that would discourage travelling through that particular pathway."

"Are you sure you can pull it off in time for say, tomorrow?" asked Mrs. Kane. "Its best if we do this as early as humanly possible."

"I think so," said Kathryn.

"So everyone ends up near The Hub at about the time these three get off duty?" asked Ryan.

"Yes, We'll be there around twenty to twenty-five minutes after the official ending time," said Aria. Daisy hoped no one was going to ask why. The fifteen minutes they'd started spending at the end of those long shifts were far too valuable to have to let go of.

"Great, then the four of you can "accidentally" run into each other near The Hub and then wonder off a bit to discuss exactly which paths you must take on the day," said Mr. Haber, nodding along.

"I think that about sums it all up," said Mrs. Kane," are you all okay with it?"

The five of them nodded.

"Perfect," said Mrs. Kane," all we need to now do is get this all done."

"I will set up the meeting for the door jacking at noon tomorrow, then perhaps early on the morning after, I can debrief everyone participating in information grabbing for the cameras," said Mr. Summers, "I guarantee it will go smoothly. You kids do your part and maybe in three days or so we'll be in business."

"Excellent, gives us two days of leeway," said Mrs. Kane. "And umm, well this is getting a bit too late I'm afraid. We will have to discuss the pre planned routes and the other segment of the plan tomorrow. I don't think its safe to organize another between us, so I will go ahead and tell Aria, and she will inform all of you by the time the escape needs to happen."

"Very well then off we go. This will not be a repeat of '06," said Jake nodding.

"2217 will not become another 2206, that much I think we can hope for," said Harry," we're a lot more prepared than they were back then."

"Correct," said Mrs. Kane," alright everyone, let's get ourselves some sleep now. It's going to be a big day tomorrow. Good Luck to you all."

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
936 Reviews

Points: 95401
Reviews: 936

Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:44 pm
View Likes
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This is another good start to a new chapter. Aside from the title, which made me smile because I don't know if I can call it forshadowing or just a funny title, I found that the tone here has generally gone into a new round.

We're still with Daisy and I also like that despite having a new chapter you didn't switch perspectives because that would have seemed a bit odd now that we've already followed Daisy through the telling of the plan. I liked this part, firstly because it was a bit longer and again because the dialogue fit together so well. Sometimes it seemed a bit hectic to read, but in general I liked reading it because it helps to keep the pace with which you ended the last chapter.

I also like that we finally get to know more about the others and how you managed to combine as with the blocks to give the readers a little glimpse of how everything is set up. I would be interested to see some kind of map of how everything is distributed, after you talked about an 8-9-9 pattern.

In general, it was a good start to the new chapter.

Other points I noticed while reading:

I know this is probably a lot to take in but now that you all said yes we're locked in, there's no way to change these things last minute.

I would put the “yes” in italic or so to show that it is a confirmation of the others.

No pressure at all. Just ten million lives. A fraction of a percentage of what the human race once was."

That is more than all the inhabitants and cows in my village put together. :D

Man that guy stays silent way too much. 

Here should be a comma after “man.”

Have fun writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

Heh...I did actually want to make a map, but sadly I am...terrible at that sort of thing so I only have a mental map :(

Also xD, it is a big number...its like half of our entire countries population :D

Thanks again!!

User avatar
351 Reviews

Points: 35746
Reviews: 351

Sun Oct 17, 2021 5:38 pm
View Likes
RandomTalks wrote a review...

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I really liked this part. This was the most interesting meeting so far, as it entailed everything that a meeting is supposed to include - discussion and compromise and a common conclusion. Until now, we have mostly seen one of the elders telling them about the current situation. Now we see them actually taking part.

I can also see them leading this mission now. All of them seem to have the presence of mind required for this type of a job. I was already sure about the three of them, but Kathryn also impressed me in this part. It was extremely quick thinking on her part and the idea of using a leaked pipe as a distraction was actually kind of genius. Where the adults faltered, she came up with an idea. I guess I understand now why she is on the team. I am not yet sure about Ryan as we haven't heard much from him yet. But then, to be fair, he does not seem like the kind of guy who always speaks his mind. I might be wrong though.

We also got to kbow a lot of details about the camp in this part. For example, we got an estimate of the total population and also an idea of how the camp is arranged. I am a bit curious about the escape mission of 2206. It seems to be quite infamous among them and I would have really loved to know the reason.

There were a few typos, and capitalization problems, but nothing major. Overall, this was quite a great continuation and it sets the proper kind of expectations for the actual meeting.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

Ooof, looks like my editing really slipped up at this point in the story for some reason...gotta take a second look before I post :D

User avatar
517 Reviews

Points: 36925
Reviews: 517

Sun Oct 17, 2021 9:22 am
View Likes
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey!! Forever here with a review!!
Two consecutive chapters from Daisy's POV. It's definitely intriguing.

Great, then the four of you can

I thought there were 5 people. I just need a bit of clarification on this.

I wonder Ryan's voice changed in Daisy's perspective. Like in the previous chapter, we saw that Daisy was quite syrprised by tge fact that his vouce sounded so normal but now his voice sounded deep. I am a bit confused but I guess Ryan was very throughtful and serious about the escape and so was his voice.
Man that guy sounds scary and looks the part too.

I guess this was meant to be Daisy's thought. It's not italicised.
Yeah you wouldn't have, I'm like block P," said Kathryn

Is Kathryn a bit confused about which block she lives in? If she isn't, I wonder about the use of like in the sentence.

Okay so in total, there are 26 blocks. The camp is pretty much a big camp then considering the population in there. It would take a huge amount of time to get from one end to the other end of the camp but not for the aliens, I guess. So I wonder what is the actual purpose of these blocks or if they are purposeless and are just used to indicate the location of people living.
so A-H in one route, then I-Q on another route and R-Z is yet another route."

It's better to substitute those hyphens with a 'to'.

The aliens are very uncreative. Like they could arrange it in 9,8,9. Anyway, it just makes everything harder for the humans. However, I don't think the aliens will suspect if people go through each other's paths. I don't expect them to remember who belongs to where. It's kind of impossible to remember.

Kathryn seems to have quite some presence of mind. She thought and suggested what the adults couldn't suggest(she is of Harry's age I guess taking into account she is Samantha's friend).

I guess you already know how forgetful I am... Are the lights in the hub always on? Seems so, otherwise, it wouldn't have been a problem for them to meet during night. I wonder what really happened in 2206. Harry was merely 4 years when it happened but he seems to know whatever happened. Maybe, He is quite interesting in studying the history of humankind or has heard it from someone's mouth. Now theu are leaving. I cam hope we will be able to know what the second plan was. Adventure waiting for us.

Keep Writing!!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

Eeep...some of those are careless mistakes, it should be five and not four, and that Ryan thing is a mistake from back when he was supposed to have a deep voice but I changed it in the second draft :D

Oh the lights in The Hub go out at a certain hour and turn on at a certain hour. :D

Thanks again!!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

Eeep...some of those are careless mistakes, it should be five and not four, and that Ryan thing is a mistake from back when he was supposed to have a deep voice but I changed it in the second draft :D

Oh the lights in The Hub go out at a certain hour and turn on at a certain hour. :D

Thanks again!!

"It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small."
— Neil Armstrong