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Dead to the World

by LadyTano


You were broken, in chains.

Worn and beaten,

Dead to all the world

Except yourself.

.

But there was an ember,

Buried deep inside you

Where no one could extinguish it.

A single spark, a glimmer of hope.

.

They beat you in body,

But they had not touched your mind, or spirit.

Not yet.

.

Till one day, you thought they'd won.

They'd taken everything from you,

And now everyone.

.

You lay in the dark, beaten and broken,

In body, mind, and spirit.

There is nothing left for you,

Or anyone you had cared for.

.

All hope is lost.

All dreams are crushed.

All promise, is gone.

.

That ember, you once knew was there

Has been extinguished.

You are mere ashes of the person you once were,

Unrecognizable, even to your closest friend.

If they were alive.

.

You are the only one left

That once cared.

But maybe, you don't care anymore.

Nothing that they do to you

Can be worse than death.

And it feels,

You've already died a thousand times.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Nothing that they do to you,

Can be worse than death.

A quiet whisper, no more than a breeze,

Stirred the ashes,

Something awoke, something that had been dead for years,

You felt it.

.

A single spark.

A flash of hope.

A sign of life.

.

Something inside you shifted.

.

The spark flew and caught on your soul,

It erupted in fire

Spreading through your veins,

Reviving your once dead heart,

And awakening your Spirit~


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40 Reviews


Points: 1063
Reviews: 40

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Wed Aug 18, 2021 11:56 pm
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LizzyTyler wrote a review...



Good morning, evening, afternoon, night, or whichever applies to you in your respective time zone at the moment. Anyway, onto the review. That was AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Beautifully written, with a deep, darker theme that contrasts wonderfully with the fluid and delicate style of your poetry.

I think my favorite lines in your poem, was the final stanza:

“The spark flew and caught on your soul,
It erupted in fire
Spreading through your veins,
Reviving your once dead heart,
And awakening your Spirit~“

This stanza is beautiful. It has incredible imagery, letting the reader truly see, and feel, this part of the poem. I truly loved your poem, and I hope to see more of your writing around. Keep writing, and stay safe.

-Lizzy




LadyTano says...


Thank you so much, Lizzy!



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31 Reviews


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Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:57 am
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SpencerReidIsMyLife wrote a review...



MieczAutorski--

Firstly, I want to say that this is a very well-written poem. I like the formatting a lot, and I think the content/themes you have going ion are really important and shine through.

I really enjoy how you split up your poem. The first part is filled with a section where the speaker talks about how the spark inside of "you" will not be extinguished. I think this is an important message, as it deals with strength and courage. I especially enjoyed the following lines: "But there was an ember,/Buried deep inside you/Where no one could extinguish it" and "They beat you in body,/But they had not touched your mind, or spirit./Not yet". I think that both sets of lines really showcase the strength they had, but also the worse things that were to come in the second part of the poem.

The next part of your poem is where the speaker talks about how "you" let the drive die, bringing them into a world of despair. This is also an important message, as even though a lot of us are strong, sometimes even we have limits that (when crossed) will break us. I particularly liked the stanza: "All hope is lost./All dreams are crushed./All promise, is gone". This really jumped out to me, and I feel that it showcases the absolute despair of someone who hits rock bottom.

Finally, the last part of your poem has the speaker discuss how "you" regain that spark, regaining hope and stamina. This is also an important message, primarily of resilience through hard times. I particularly like the lines "awakening your Spirit" and "The spark flew and caught on your soul". They really seem to capture the moment at the end. I also think it's interesting that you capitalise "Spirit". Is there a special reason for this? (religious/spiritual, maybe?)

In the end, the messages in this poem are very strong, and change throughout the piece in thirds. The only real critique I have about this poem is that it's written in 2nd person. Though some poems are written like this and have succeeded, I implore you to go ahead and try to write it in a different tense (1st or 3rd). You may find that it works a bit better than 2nd person. Either way, I think you did a wonderful job on this poem, and encourage you to write more!

As always, keep on writing,
Spencer




LadyTano says...


Sorry for replying so late, Spencer! Thank you for reviewing. The reason I capitalized it is a secret. Thanks again!



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38 Reviews


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Reviews: 38

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Thu Jul 29, 2021 12:28 am
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AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...



First of all- OHHHHHHHHMYYYYYYYGOOOOODDNDNDNEEEEEESSSSSS YOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Honestly, this is the kind of work that I want to print out and put on my wall. I am not joking. (Do I have permission to do that? I’ll keep your name on it 1000000% and give you full credit to anyone who sees it- which is basically me, my cat, and my parent haha)(but I’m not joking this feels like it will bless anyone who reads it.)

Thank you for being brave. Thank you for being you. And thank you for sharing. This was beautiful inside out out. Your spirit is so strong. You are talented. I hope to read everything you write from here.

Never give up or give in. Never change who you are because you are you and you are beautiful.

I’m your number one fannnnnnnn! ;)

With love and electronically emitted rays of hugs,
-AilahEvelynMae




LadyTano says...


Thank You AillahEvelynMae! I'm so touched you like it! Of course you have my permission! You've made me so happy!!





I am so happy! Thank you! You%u2019ve made me full of joy as well :)

Hugs!
Ellie-Mae




You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.
— Rod Serling