Hi TheScribe,
Mailice here with a short review! 
This was a wonderful, plaintive poem with a lot of imagination. There was something ponderous about it but also a sense of renewal. At first impression it seems to tell of the grievances that plague a person, over all the years, but as you read on and begin to read a little between the lines, you realise that it goes deeper into a well than you think. I like how there is an ambiguity in the path you present here.
Funnily enough, I have to say that when I read your poem, the colour grey is constantly in front of my eyes. Even though there are moments where you can read a little hope, the overall picture is a very bleak and sad web of loss and depression.
I can't say sorry enough.
The winds howl in my ears what I have done wrong—
my soul cannot escape its sorrows,
my mind remembers every moment in the silence
The first thing that came to my mind here when I read the lines was being trapped. Trapped in one's own world, imprisoned in one's worries, a monumental mountain from which one cannot free oneself and yet the wind penetrates, which to me means as much as that there is a possibility of escaping from this prison, but one can no longer do it under one's own power. The soul has gained too much weight, like chains thrown around the narrator.
I thought I was, for I had found some peace,
nurtured it for a time.
But then the fertilizer stopped working,
the wells dried, the sun grew dark—
it died as a marigold withers in winter,
I really like how you manage to create a metaphor here and also describe it so vividly. It's that point in the poem where you feel a break, like the character can break free, but at the same time they sink in as that break gets bigger and becomes a ravine where the narrator falls in.
Peace now is found in
distractions, endless chores and
endless fights. My hands shake—
As the text seems rather dull, it has a very motivating and helpful effect here, as it again looks as if the person has found a solution that helps him to repress and not to forget.
I really like how the poem, towards the end, stands between a helpless helplessness and hope for improvement. It has motivation and optimism, as well as the pessimism. It shows me that the narrator here is so overwhelmed by all his pain that he has no solution left and is slowly saying goodbye to everything that is actually good. I see it as the loss of reality.
I really enjoyed reading the poem and reading between the lines. It had a positive effect of making you think and self-reflect a bit as a reader, despite the heaviness it had.
Have fun writing!
Mailice.
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Reviews: 1232
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