Blue shades of red seems like an idea not a powerful piece of imagery.
This first stanza is very abstract. Can you ground it more? It sounds fantastic and is wonderfully experienced, but not understood. Try to make it both.
The second stanza works so much better with it's imagery being more understood but less abstract. So difficult to join the two if it's even possible. TRY!! DO IT!!
This whole poem is kind of mysterious and hard to read into. It has just enough of a base to put together some things but needs to be built from that base with some more ideas about the treasure hunt. It needs it to be complete and an amazing poem.
Points: 625
Reviews: 286
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