Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad!
Note: Being that I'm not caught up yet, this might not be the best review
I'm fine. It's okay. I'm alive.
Right?
Alex wakes up with a gasp, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. He looks around and finds that he's layed on a hospital bed. His head throbs slightly, and everything is blurry.
"Looks like I got my wish," murmurs Alex. He smirks; on the first day of school, he had wondered why he couldn't wake up dramatically.
"What wish?" asks someone familiar from the other side of Alex. He turns and sees Chris, sitting there with a book.
"Why are you here?" asks Alex.
"How hostile," Chris replies and then adds, "Dwayne and Spencer were being really loud, so I skipped practice."
Alex laughs, "Why don't you quiet them down?"
"I don't have patience like you," Chris then returns to his book after snapping at Alex. Alex doesn't mind Chris being snappy. In fact, if Chris wasn't being snappy, Alex would have been worried.
Aasdfjhasdfjhasdfjh I loove Alex already haha. He's got a sense of humor. Alright, it doesn't take a genius to find out what happened during the previous chapter-some accident happened. Guessing by the title, I'm guessing it was related to a sport
Your dialogue really comes off the page, and it really did a nice job of characterizing.
stereotypical depressed anime dude way,
Chris chuckles, "I guess a severe concussion changes a person drastically."
Alex blinks, "Wait . . . severe concussion? Why am I in a hospital bed?"
"You passed out after the game."
Alex is suddenly frantic, "Did we lose? Did we . . . did we . . . did I do good?"
"Slow down, man," Chris replies, "You know your speech is slurred, right?"
"It's not!" Alex shoots back. His speech isn't slurred. That makes no sense; Chris must be toying with him.
"Yeah . . . I don't think you can notice," says Chris drily. He flips another page in his book and continues reading.
"I'm perfectly fine," Alex growls, "Get me out of this bed!"
"Nope," Chris grins, "If you can't get out of it, then you're definitely not in good shape."
Alex somehow drags himself out of the bed, and Chris laughs. Alex doesn't respond, but he does start walking out of the room.
"If you want to leave, you can," says Chris, "I'll just follow you to make sure your weakling body doesn't collapse or anything."
Awwwwwwww I'm digging the dynamic here. Chris seems so protective of Alex, and I'm loving how teasing he is about it <3333
"What are you doing here?" asks Chris.
Copeland glances up, and after seeing the two of them, he looks back down and says, "I could ask the same of you two."
"We're just grabbing a snack," says Alex.
"How coincidental. Me and Ethan were as well. He's just mad that our mom won't make food that tastes good," Copeland replies.
"Ah, so you are brothers," Chris says, nodding, "Also, why the long face?"
"We lost," Copeland says flatly.
Alex notices that Copeland is different in real life than when playing basketball. Alex had totally seen Copeland as a ruthless, sarcastic bully. From what he's seen so far, Alex thinks Copeland is maybe just a very sad child. Or maybe Copeland is just really good at hiding his intentions.
"I bet that isn't the only reason, Jeremy," Chris grins.
"So you know my name," Copeland doesn't seem very surprised, but frankly, Alex thinks the name 'Jeremy' is much too normal for a terrifying/depressed person like Copeland. Copeland should just be that kid's full name.
He thinks the name 'Jeremy' is much to normal for a terrifying/depressed person like Copeland? Pfffft THE WAY I SNORTED.
So Jeremy was on the losing team? Hmm, especially since he seems to be one of *those* people whom are easily triggered, that just spells bad news.
Copeland sniffs, "I tiny team like yours wouldn't understand."
Swap the I, for an A
"Exactly!" exclaims Copeland, "And he blames it on me that he didn't get to go to the State Cup!"
Alex is suddenly intimidated by the overwhelming sense of camaraderie between the two.
"And I'm sure he hates me now," Copeland sighs, scrunching up into a fetal position, which strangely makes it look like Chris and Alex are ganging up on him.
Chris nods, "Makes sense to think that way, but you know he actually doesn't hate you, right?"
"Huh?"
Chris smiles warmly, "It may seem like your older brother is really unnecessarily strict, or extra mean to you, but really, he just wants you to be stronger. Your brother is the one who always has your back."
Chris seems like a sweet guy my goodess <33 So Jeremy's brother seemed 'unnecessarily strict and extra mean' and was hard on Copeland, causing Copeland to be hard on himself. 10/10 relatable character
That concludes this review! I'm adoring your characters so far, so I'm definitely going to read your other chapters. Also yeahh-I'd love to be tagged for the next one, whenever it comes out
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Points: 10954
Reviews: 67
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