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Young Writers Society


12+

The Sorcerers of Hisderat, Chapter 9.4

by KateHardy


“So we’re going to look for a book then?” asked Rose.

“Yes,” said Terry, “but not just any book.”

“A book that involves some form of creek in its title,” finished Harry. Terry nodded in agreement.

“But there has to be more than one of those,” said Rose.

“That is possibly where the whole ‘by the king of the bleak’ comes in. That sounds very much like some form of clue regarding the author.

“And the part about happiness must also be relevant somehow,” said Harry, “the first line is clearly just telling us it’s something to do with books but this other one has to be connected to this somehow too.”

“I suggest we just start by picking up as many books about creeks as we can and then trying to narrow things down from there. I think once we have the books in hand, that clue will probably be a whole lot easier to deduce,” said Terry.

“Wait, wait, wait, we’re being insanely stupid here,” said Harry.

“What?” asked Terry.

“It can’t be any book from this century,” said Harry, “I mean think of how old this map is. This library was around back then, but the books here must have changed. There's no way they would not update things in that long.”

“Oh wow, that didn’t occur to me, but you’re right of,” said Terry, “whoever made this riddle was clearly expecting this map to have been found way earlier than it actually was.”

“No but that wouldn’t make sense right?” said Harry, “who on Earth would make a map like this to be obsolete so fast? The kind of protections this is hiding behind are meant to last a long time. A temporary wouldn't have been built to last this long.”

“A stupid person,” suggested Rose, with a small laugh,"but yeah, no I don't think this was a map meant to be useless after a couple of decades. It doesn’t sound likely at all.”

“Then it’s got to be referring to something a bit more permanent,” said Terry, “a book just seems like the perfect option, but there's gotta be another thing that the riddle is true for.”

“Wait a minute, could be some sort of self-updating spell?” asked Harry.

“No,” said Rose, immediately, “in that case it wouldn’t have been able to transfer to the photograph. Spells like that only work on the object it was cast on. The magic that reshapes it will not transfer through to a camera. So we'd have just a blank spot.”

“Right,” said Harry, nodding, “that makes sense."

“The riddle unfortunately, does not,” said Terry, “unless you know of any books that lie here preserved or something.”

“Well it is an old library, maybe there are some ancient book here,” said Harry, "there's a chance it was maybe a famous book of some sort that lies preserved here from before the time of the map.”

“Hm…that’s true,” said Terry, “the thing that worries me is the fact that according to what your commander said this map dates back at least a hundred years. That's a long time for a book to hang out in a library. It would probably be sold to a museum by now.”

“Wait, I think I know,” said Rose, suddenly, “it’s so easy it’s ridiculous, it’s almost like someone wants this to be easily found.”

“Okay, tell us mere mortals what you have managed to deduce,” said Harry.

She smiled. “See, it’s all in the capitalization. Don’t you think that it’s weird that King is capitalized.?”

“Could be a typo?” said Harry, “with the kind of spell it was hidden under you don’t exactly want to have recast because of something as inconsequential as an accidental capital.”

“Or it’s a clue,” said Terry, “The word king on its own would only be capitalized if it was part of a name. Maybe this book is by some famous person named King.”

“Stephan King?” said Harry, only half serious “okay probably not. I don't think he's from that long ago.”

“Nope, there’s a better one,” said Rose, smiling, “Gerfig King, a writer that was famous for his extreme use of bleak weather in a bestselling series of novels about, you guessed it, a creek.”


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Sun Sep 19, 2021 4:35 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back again with a short review! :D

Your mix of realism and fantasy makes me smile every now and then. You make it so easy to show it off and amuse the reader with it, at the same time presenting them with one clue after another to get to a point where we will see the result. The chapter currently feels like a big scavenger hunt that leads to something more to come.

It's like Rose said, it's quite simple what they're doing at the moment, and I have to be honest, that makes me worry that there's going to be a big bang about how it's going to go on.

Terry seems to be ready for some kind of friendship or at least some kind of truce by now, because we don't see very much of his thoughts anymore. I think that's a shame, because it also makes it seem like it's no longer being told directly from his perspective. I think even in the last part there wasn't any direct thought interaction. I'm sure that it helps if they are inserted briefly, because they don't really stop the plot in any way at the moment.

Other points I noticed while reading:

“Oh wow, that didn’t occur to me, but you’re right of,” said Terry, “whoever made this riddle was clearly expecting this map to have been found way earlier than it actually was.”

I'm never quite sure whether Terry is being sarcastic about all this or whether he's just using Harry and Rose to get where he wants to go.

“Well it is an old library, maybe there are some ancient book here,” said Harry,

Tiny spelling error here; there are some ancient books here.

Don’t you think that it’s weird that King is capitalized.?”

A full stop is too much here.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youuu for the review!!



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Fri Jun 25, 2021 3:34 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ooh this wasn't even in the Green room - I'm glad you're getting some bonus reviewers for this story :) Sorry it's taking me a while to get through! I aim to be up to date by the end of the month!!

“So we’re going to look for a book then?” asked Rose.

“Yes,” said Terry, “but not just any book.”

“A book that involves some form of creek in its title,” finished Harry. Terry nodded in agreement.

“But there has to be more than one of those,” said Rose.

You've got a lot of the same structure here - i.e. someone says something and then you have a speech tag. Maybe you could try playing about with this somewhat. Remove speech tags, add actions instead so you know who's talking. So for example:
“So we’re going to look for a book then?” Rose raised her eyebrows.
That way you don't have the slight repetition of a speech tag but you still know who's talking.

That sounds very much like some form of clue regarding the author.

Again, I think they could be less sure about everything - have some doubt!

“Oh wow, that didn’t occur to me, but you’re right of,” said Terry, “whoever made this riddle was clearly expecting this map to have been found way earlier than it actually was.”

But they've been referencing things that are clearly newly built in general?

Ok we've done a lot of round about circling with this riddle and I can't tell if it's because I'm taking gaps in reading the sections but it's getting to be a bit all over the place. I think I need to go back and reread before I review the final part but I think this particular scene/chapter might benefit from a bit more flow. It seems like they're going all over the place trying to find out the riddle and whilst that may be representative of real life it gets a bit confusing when reading!

Spearmint has said a lot of my points far more eloquently so I'm going to leave it here for now xD I'll try and sum up my thoughts in the final part of this chapter!

~Icy




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for another review Icy!!

Hmm...well this is slightly troubling...looks like I might have another chapter two on my hands with looots of edits required. Oh well...chap 10 is ready to go, and hopefully that's a bit better :D Thanks again for sticking with this!!

Looking forward to see those other reviews!! Take your time!! :D



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Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:53 pm
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Spearmint wrote a review...



Hiya, I'm back for 9.4! ^-^ Ooh, and it looks like the team's getting closer... I also like how you included the part about the map being old, and how the team thinks about how the books might have changed-- to me it makes this story more realistic! I think it could also be pretty neat if some parts of Gibticy have changed so much that it makes the riddle more difficult to solve (for example, if the largest mall talked about in the riddle is actually the second-largest one now), but I guess that might not really fit with the idea that the creators knew what they were doing xD (So far it seems that whoever created the riddle was pretty smart and planned for the future, judging by how it was possible for the team to decipher it in the present-day.) Anyways, onto the next point...

I think the dialogue in this chapter part is great-- when I was reading this, it was always clear which character was speaking, and even though most of the chapter part is dialogue, it didn't feel boring or repetitive to me! (I actually didn't even notice the lack of description until I was writing this review xD) The way each of the trio is contributing to the discussion also makes me hopeful that Terry will eventually earn Rose and Harry's trust... ^-^

Ah and just a super tiny thing I wanted to point out: would there still have been a pizza place next to the library a hundred years ago? >.> Is it special in some way, like the first of its brand or something, so it's likely to stay the same for a century? Ooh, or maybe it's a front for something riddle-related, and that's why it stuck around so long? xD I was just wondering about that a little!

...“in that case it wouldn’t have been able to transfer to the photograph. Spells like that only work on the object it was cast on. The magic that reshapes it will not transfer through to a camera. So we'd have just a blank spot.”

Ah so this is an interesting detail about the magic system in this story! Also, by "photograph," I'm assuming you mean the photograph they projected to the big screen at headquarters...?

“Wait, I think I know,” said Rose, suddenly, “it’s so easy it’s ridiculous, it’s almost like someone wants this to be easily found.”

Hmm... if that's true... why would the case be protected by so many spells...? Was the case used by someone else who didn't want the riddle to be solved? Or did the original creator of the riddle think that anyone capable of opening the case could be trusted with solving the riddle? The inconsistency makes me rather curious... >.>

“Nope, there’s a better one,” said Rose, smiling, “Gerfig King, a writer that was famous for his extreme use of bleak weather in a bestselling series of novels about, you guessed it, a creek.”

Ooh, that idea sounds promising! Those books must be incredibly old, though... perhaps they're classics or something, and that's why they've stuck around so long...?
Also, "Gerfig King"... is that a possible hidden anagram I see? <.< The only words I can come up with for "gerfig" by itself are "figger" (figure??) or "if greg"... Hmm, there's an awful lot of 'g's and that 'k' too... "fire kinggg"?? :P okay, I have no idea for this one xD

Overall, this was another wonderful chapter and I enjoyed reading it! (I'm actually a little curious about the plot of Gerfig King's books too-- extreme use of bleak weather? sounds interesting... >.> xD) Anyways, I hope you keep writing, and have a fabulous day/night!! =D




KateHardy says...


Thank youuu for another review!!

xD...the pizza place I'm afraid is just me trying to find a word that rhymes...RIP...but uhh...now that you mention it I will work that into the worldbuilding to be some kind of iconic place to better fit here...that completely slipped my mind :D

As for the one who made the riddle...hmm...there might be more to that down the line...actually...those question do actually get answered I believe :D

Ohh, the photograph is one that they took of the projection itself. :D I think its mentioned. :D

As for gerfig, sadly no, that is not an anagram as far as I remember. :D

Aaand thanks again!!

Have a fabulous day/night yourself!! :D



Spearmint says...


Thank you for the reply!! ^-^

xD...the pizza place I'm afraid is just me trying to find a word that rhymes...

XD completely relatable!

those question do actually get answered I believe :D

Ah yay! I'm looking forward to finding out!! C:

Ohh, the photograph is one that they took of the projection itself.

Oops xD I'll try to find that chapter and refresh my memory! :P

As for gerfig, sadly no, that is not an anagram as far as I remember.

Ahh okay, no wonder nothing quite sounded right xD

Thanks again, and stay awesome!! =D



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!!
You too!! :D



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Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:53 pm
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TheMythMaster wrote a review...



Myth here to review for you

Ok so starting off, the first part with all the dialogue about finding the book is done well, the idea that the book their looking for is too old to still be there adds a touch of hopelessness, which is quickly cleaned up so the reader doesn’t get bored.

Also

“And the part about happiness must also be relevant somehow,” said Harry, “the first line is clearly just telling us it’s something to do with books but this other one has to be connected to this somehow too.”

I feel like there should be a comma in between ‘books this’ maybe not but it just feels like that sentence needs to be broken up a bit.

“Then it’s got to be referring to something a bit more permanent,” said Terry, “a book just seems like the perfect option, but there's gotta be another thing that the riddle is true for.”

Ooh, perhaps the clue was misleading?

“Well it is an old library, maybe there are some ancient book here,” said Harry, "there's a chance it was maybe a famous book of some sort that lies preserved here from before the time of the map.”

Hmm they dismiss the idea of something thats not a book pretty fast without a lot of thought into it, I feel like it might be more interesting if they go more in depth into the idea before coming to the conclusion that it’s wrong, not saying it’s that bad, just a thought.

“Nope, there’s a better one,” said Rose, smiling, “Gerfig King, a writer that was famous for his extreme use of bleak weather in a bestselling series of novels about, you guessed it, a creek.”

Aah capitalizing things in strange places is a good way of hiding messages, now we’re getting somewhere.

Overall this part of the chapter was done pretty well and I enjoyed reading it.

Nice!
-Myth




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Yeah..xD...this riddle solving part was a little bit on the fast side, definitely something I will be looking to change. :D




There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
— Christopher Darlington Morley