z

Young Writers Society


12+

The Sorcerers of Hisderat, Chapter 9.3

by KateHardy


Terry had to try hard not to roll his eyes at the duo. "Okay, so now we're here. What next?"

"I assume plans and lands can maybe tell us something on that?" said Rose, wiping the smile from her face.

"Mmm...hmm," said Harry, nodding. He on the other hand, didn't look like he would be able to stop laughing any time soon.

"Lands and Plans. Lands and plans. That just reminds me of maps. Or possibly history. Maybe it has something to do with it. I mean there probably isn't a section for maps but there must be a history section in here," said Terry.

"Wouldn't hurt to browse around the history section then," said Rose. Harry nodded and gave a pointed look at Terry.

Getting the message, Terry began moving through the shelves, looking for the section marked "History".

The section was located right in the center of the large library, and the entire section appeared to be empty at the moment. I guess no one wants to read about history.

"So what are we looking for?" asked Harry, who now appeared to have finally regained control of his facial muscles.

"I have no idea but those other passages probably help with that," said Terry.

"No I mean is this plots and pans...I mean lands and plans confirmed?" asked Harry.

"Well maybe we have to look for something on ancient geography or something?" said Rose.

"Or maybe we have to look for a book about worldbuilding," said Harry, frowning thoughtfully, "I mean lands crafted through plans."

"Hmmm that's possible..." began Rose but things clicked for Terry. Of course. Lands crafted through plans. Stories. Library. Of course. That's probably something to reinforce the fact that we should be in the library. And in the fiction section.

"No he's right," said Terry, speaking up. "Lands crafted through plans can only mean something to do with fiction. This is a library after all. It's a "sanctuary" for crafted lands."

"Excelsior," said Harry, bowing, "now we head for the fiction section."

"Alright then, I suppose I should lead the way again," said Terry.

"Correct," said Harry, flashing a thumbs up, "you seem like you know your way around here."

Terry resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the extremely lame excuse. "Fine," he said, giving a very stiff nod as he headed in the direction of the fantasy section. That was the place most likely to feature carefully crafted lands.

“So, what next?’ asked Rose as they arrived at the fantasy section.

“I’m guessing the next passage will tell us that,” said Harry, “the way they mention ‘knowledge’ and ‘tale’ make me think that we should be looking for something like a book.”

“And said book possibly leads to a secret chamber somehow...like one of those hidden bookcase doors or something...or maybe...this whole thing is sounding a bit scooby doo ish now," said Rose, voice now down to a whisper. Terry was confused by the sudden whispering. Why would they suddenly talk in whispers? As if an ancient treasure requires tactical whispering.

“That seems like a reasonable,” said Terry, nodding, “the…” He was cut off by Harry putting his finger to his lips. Terry frowned at him. “What?” mouthed Terry.

“The walls may have ears,” said Harry, “I know you aren’t an exterminator, but you’ve been asked to join the squad so when we look for an anthill we must take care not to reveal the brand of spray we’re using.”

At first Terry was about to scoff at the agent’s silly attempt at some humor before he ran over the words again and realized Harry was speaking in some form of code. He mentally slapped himself for not realizing something that should have been painful obvious.

“Understood Danvers, an exterminator should never reveal his spray,” he said with a nod. Harry nodded back and they focused on the riddle once more.


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Sun Sep 19, 2021 4:19 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back again with a short review! :D

We get closer and closer to the goal, only to realise that we are taking our steps on a treadmill. :D It's a very leisurely pace at the moment and again I like how you manage to use logic to solve the puzzle. It's definitely comprehensible and achievable for the reader.

But what I really like so far is how you're doing the POV from Terry so far in this chapter. Since he's only the appendage of the duo so far to make a trio in the first place, I think there's more to it and you can take his thoughts very seriously there when it comes to what he's making assumptions himself. Because in the section I think it's strange that we don't see more of Harry, but at the same time it gives me this strange feeling that there's something wrong. Terry seems to be working towards finding the solution himself and hopefully won't start snatching something out from under their noses. Is this possibly a big mistake that Johnson has made? Or even a mistake that they arrested Terry?

Other points I noticed while reading:

"Lands and Plans. Lands and plans. That just reminds me of maps. Or possibly history. Maybe it has something to do with it. I mean there probably isn't a section for maps but there must be a history section in here," said Terry.

Strange library that it doesn't even have a section for maps. Isn't that usually included in the history section?

Getting the message, Terry began moving through the shelves, looking for the section marked "History".
The section was located right in the center of the large library, and the entire section appeared to be empty at the moment. I guess no one wants to read about history.

First of all, it's really sad that no one is interested in history any more! Secondly, I think you changed the scene too quickly here, where they decided to go into the department. I think you're not the type to give long descriptions and present everything in every detail, but rather to try to connect the descriptions with the interactions of the characters. You could do that here, for example, to make the transition more fluid. Maybe Terry bangs into someone as he opens up, or notices a book with a rainbow cover peeking out, etc....

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youuu for the review!!

And yup, like I said, these two riddle solve chapters, 9 and 10 get a bit dicey with the pacing, hopefully with 11 and 12 and fight scenes coming in once again, the descriptions are back to being good :D



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Sun Jun 20, 2021 7:17 pm
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Spearmint wrote a review...



Hello hello, mint here with a review! ^-^ Alrighty, getting right to it...

The section was located right in the center of the large library, and the entire section appeared to be empty at the moment. I guess no one wants to read about history.

Hmm okay, to me the fact that the history section is located in the center makes it sound rather promising... also the fact that it appears to be empty probably means that if anything is hidden there, it's less likely to have been found already... I know the team later goes with the idea that the riddle is talking about the fantasy section, but if you wanted to build on Icy's suggestion of having them struggle a bit, maybe you could use those facts and make the history section more of a red herring or something? Just an idea! C:

“Understood Danvers, an exterminator should never reveal his spray,” he said with a nod. Harry nodded back and they focused on the riddle once more.

XD I love that they're speaking in code, and how Harry always seems to use "anthill" for the target. It adds a nice humorous vibe to the story while also helping the team keep their conversations fairly secure!

Oh, and this is probably just me being a lazy human xD, but I think it'd be helpful if the characters referenced parts of the riddle while they were solving it! (Then I wouldn't have to click back through the previous chapters to find the riddle :P) It doesn't seem like too much happened between when they read the riddle and when they're in the library, so most readers probably still remember it, but I'd appreciate the characters maybe quoting just the most relevant lines or something. Totally up to you, though! ^^

Okay, so it definitely seems like the team's getting closer to finding what they're looking for, and I'm excited to find out what it'll be! I hope you keep writing, and have a fantastic day/night!! =D




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for another awesome review!!

xD...I know I had to keep a seperate copy of the riddle open as I wrote this thing to keep track of it so that's very fair...I'll figure out how to work some of those lines into the convo here. :D



Spearmint says...


:D Thanks for the reply!!



KateHardy says...


:D



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Thu Jun 17, 2021 2:22 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok I'm back! Time for another instalment of whatever chaos this gang can get themselves into xD

Terry had to try hard not to roll his eyes at the duo.

I love how this just sums up a tonne of your plot in one sentence!

"I assume plans and lands can maybe tell us something on that?" said Rose, wiping the smile from her face.

Is this a section of the library that she's talking about? Or a section of the riddle/clue?

"Wouldn't hurt to browse around the history section then," said Rose. Harry nodded and gave a pointed look at Terry.

How much time do they have to figure this out? Rose's use of the word browse suggests they aren't in any kind of hurry, which perhaps they aren't because they're solving things so quickly but it would be good to bring back a sense of urgency (at some point, but doesn't have to be here!)

"So what are we looking for?" asked Harry, who now appeared to have finally regained control of his facial muscles.

this is an excellent line :D

"I have no idea but those other passages probably help with that," said Terry.

Why start looking if they don't know what they're looking for? Surely it would be better to establish that first? Or are they just looking for something out of the ordinary? The history section is probably pretty big so it's going to take them a while if they don't have a proper direction.

"No I mean is this plots and pans...I mean lands and plans confirmed?" asked Harry.

Though his mistake is funny, nobody reacts to it so I don't think there's too much point having it in there.

Excelsior," said Harry, bowing, "now we head for the fiction section."

"Alright then, I suppose I should lead the way again," said Terry.

I'd like to see them struggle for a bit and get frustrated - I think this is still a bit too easy for them and we don't really get to see how they deal with difficult situations which might be a good opportunity to add some character depth.

I think that's actually my main point for this, the pace is pretty fast and I'd like to see them actually work it out - perhaps together at points rather than one of them just having a mental epiphany. It's starting to get a bit repetitive in that sense and I think by exploring their emotions and some frustrations it would make things more interesting!

I think I'm finally half way through this chapter xD
Looking forward to the next part <3

~Icy




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!!

I love how this just sums up a tonne of your plot in one sentence!


YES

Hmm...this is definitely one of those chapters that I'll have to rewrite as far as pacing and them solving the riddle itself is concerned. On the bright side I can take notes from this and them solving that second riddle should hopefully be a lot better. :D Until then...I can perhaps distract you from this fast paced riddles with a fight scene somewhere in Chapter 11 or 12 ;)...

Thanks again for the review Icy. I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Thank youu soo much for continuing to review this story. :D



IcyFlame says...


Anytime! I'm very much enjoying the fun :)



KateHardy says...


:D




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