Young Writers Society

Hey There ....
Your Poem is indeed a reflection of the depth of your heart. emotions and thoughts.

Writing is your gift and creating a masterpiece such as this poem highlights your unique ability to incorporate your priceless memories with the contemporary times
after I read your poem i was reminiscing nostalgically about my childhood days being pampered and fed by my grand mother....

Your poem is wonderfully written with deep usage of imagery .
The inner meaning of the poem conveys the bitter truth of reality that People do no spread love ,peace and compassion like they used to.
These tokens of humanly love are so important that you made this as the subject of your poem ......

Keep Bringing up poems based on the changing times .....
Cheers!!!!

This poem is absolutely stunning, and it contains such multitudes of memory and emotion in such a short, lovely way. I don't even have the words for the ache this induced in my chest. The way you use words, create stories by piecing together ideas is incredible.

I have only a couple of critiques, which I'm kind of unsure about, but after "memories of grandmothers" I think there should be a comma, because it's an adjective phrase describing the homeland and isn't a part of the verb, but the noun. I also think that after "to collect at our windows" there should be a dash or a period to indicate a different part of the sentence? I often don't suggest more punctuation in poetry, but in instances where it's already used as it would be in a sentence, I believe it's proper to punctuate it as one would the sentence. Feel free to disregard any of this, they are merely suggestions.

Otherwise, NO CRITIQUES. This poem is beautiful in a way that is indescribable, and it's definitely one of the best I've ever read (and I read a lot of poetry). Everything about it, its pacing and wording and figurative language, creates an abstract story that lets the reader piece it together, though the beautiful imagery always remains the same. Gah!!! I loved this so much. I'll definitely be coming back to read it- you should be proud

Hello!

I love, love, love the imagery in this poem! It is so realistic, raw even. The overall tone is haunting, like a fog misting over a graveyard. My favorite line is "...is where we sweated away our boyhood / raising olive trees." I know that olive trees are a symbol of strong-rooted friendship and peace - which is evident in this poem's language and structure. The poem is like one of those books on your bookshelf that you'll always cherish, reading again every so often even though you know the story by heart.

Great work!

LCP ✻

Oh goodness, this is so lovely! I'll come back later when I have time and leave a review:)