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Conquest of Shadows Chapter 12

by FlamingPhoenix


Richard had been rather hesitant to leave Grace by herself in the mountain when Ryan had informed him she wouldn’t be going to the village with them. Of course, he didn’t expect her to come along, what with King Damien after her, and he was sure he had a large bounty on his head now that he figuring out the power of the Gem he had just stolen from the King.

Richard watched Ryan ride his stallion in silence, sometimes he wondered what the man thought about, did he ever think about the rebellion that happened fourteen years ago, and regret the part he played in it? He knew he thought about it all the time, even though he could hardly remember anything, he sometimes wished he knew more, but never asked.

As the two drew closer to the village Richard’s thoughts began to wander back to the Gem he had left behind, now that he knew about its power, should he use it? If he does, would he be as bad as King Damien, using the power of the Gem for his own needs? Though he would be doing it to save the Kingdom and the others out there from Damien’s strong hunger for power.

Now he knew how to activate it he wouldn’t be the only one able to use it, if he told others about it, people he could trust, another rebellion could be possible, more would be more inclined to join. Richard could only imagine what the battle would look like, fire breathing warriors storming through the palace eager to take back the Kingdom.

“Richard!”

“Huh?” removed from his wild thoughts Richard looked up only to find Ryan wasn’t there anymore, but now riding beside him, a questioning look now covering his features. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Richard asked a guilty smile spreading across his face.

Sighing, Ryan shook his head. “Don’t worry about Grace, I had a small talk with her, and she understands she must remain in the mountain.”

‘Oh if only.’ Richard thought shaking his head. After what happened yesterday Richard could tell Grace was just as stubborn as he was at her age, so he could only imagine the trouble she could be getting up to now that she was alone and free to do whatever she wanted.

Coming out of his thoughts Richard’s clear blue gave shifted over to Ryan who rode quietly next to him as if he was thinking about something himself. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Hmm? Oh yes, remember to keep low in the village, I hear King Damien has quiet the temper at the moment, and I can only imagine why.” Ryan sent Richard a skeptical look as if trying to get his point across.

Richard could only nod his head in fear of what would happen if he said the wrong thing, it was clear Ryan hadn’t gotten over the stunt he pulled when saving Grace, though he could never blame him, it was risky and he knew that when he saved her.

Curious Richard pulled Thunder’s reins bringing the horse to a slower trot next to Ryan, “I was just wondering, why do we need to go to the village, we have enough food to last us another week?”

“Richard we can’t come and go as we please, King Damien is a very observant man and would notes if we just show up once every few weeks, besides after what you pulled we wouldn’t want him starting to become suspicious.” Ryan paused to look in Richard’s direction, “His also choosing another to join his army today, and the entire village has to be there, it’s not like we have a choice in the matter as it is.”

Getting his drift Richard looked away, he had forgotten about that. It was horrible how King Damien demanded more join his army every year, sometimes more than once. He was only grateful he was lucky enough to not get chosen, he and Ryan normally stuck to the outskirts so as not to draw too much attention to themselves. He could only wonder whom King Damien would pick this year.

“I have a feeling the choosing might be a little different this time,” Ryan’s expression remained emotionless as he spoke. “He's going to be aiming for the young men, after what’s happened lately with you killing one of his men and now Grace, I can only assume he's going to be choosing those who are more agile and young.” Letting loose a low sigh Ryan continued, “Over the past few days I’ve been hearing rumors about someone stealing an item of some sort from the King, looks like you aren’t the only one looking for trouble, King Damien might be getting a little suspicious.” Ryan sent Richard a sideways glance before continuing. “Although, being there are two of you with a death wish it just means it will be harder for Damien to track you down...so I guess that's a good thing.”

As Ryan continued to ramble more about what he had heard, Richard couldn’t help but drift into his own thoughts of worry. ‘He is right though, if there were more it would be a lot harder for Damien to find us, although I have been very careful about keeping my identity hidden.’ Richard paused his train of thought when his actions the night he saved Grace came into his head, he could have been a lot more careful about how he did it, it could have given Damien a lead if the guards saw who he was, but the mask he wore was on hiding most of his facial features. He was just glad he hadn’t slipped up, it was a very poorly put together plan that could have ended in disaster.

“Maybe if there are others, there could be a chance to take back the kingdom,” Ryan said rubbing his chin as he thought, his green gaze fixed on the trees above, the leafless branches giving no protection from the sun’s heat.

‘If only.’ Richard thought, wishing there were more rebelling against the King, but it only being him and Vanessa and maybe one or two others, it wasn’t enough. If they wanted this to work they would have to join up with other kingdoms, though the chances of them agreeing was as slim as the river that ran through the kingdom drying out. Although if he reviled the Gem and its power to the other rulers there was a chance they would change their mind, but there was also a large chance they would try to get hold of its power for themselves, maybe he should ask Vanessa and Mikel about it later, see what they think he should do.

The rest of the ride to the Kingdom was spent in silence between the two men, their brown cloaks fluttering behind them in the chilly north wind. The sun had now reached it peek its hot rays beating down on the kingdom below, signaling the time of choosing was near.

Remaining on their horses Richard and Ryan slowed them down to a slow walk so they could weave between the crowds, heading towards the court in the upper-class once they entered the village through a dark alleyway so they wouldn’t be noticed.

As the two made their way up to the gathering place through the packed streets, they could feel the tension in the air as they all knew someone would be chosen to become a solder to the King. It used to be an honor to join the King's defense, but that was when King Author still ruled, after his death Damien took control with an iron fist.

Keeping his head low under the hood of his cloak Richard looked around him, as young men as himself walked with gloomy expressions adorning their faces, their families next to them, a look of sorrow in their eyes.

Parting from the thick throngs of people Richard moved towards a tall brick house that was along the border of the empty marketplace the crowds were now gathering into, the shadow it cast providing a dark cover. Ryan rode up next to Richard his expression holding small hints of worry as he and Richard settled behind the people in the large gathering area.

Richard only had to look at Ryan to know what he was thinking, he too knew for the past few years he had been lucky enough to not be chosen, and the chances of him being ignored now were very slim, they could only hope remaining in the shadows and on the border would keep them out of view.

His worry then went to Grace, how would he look after her if he had to work for the King? Would Ryan be able to keep her out of trouble? What if their hideout was discovered? Would their plans to take back the Kingdom continue, or would they have to accept this is the way it was going to be?

Richard had to vigorously shake his head to banish the horrible thoughts that clouded his mind like a poisonous fog. If he did end up working for the King he would be one step closer to understanding his plan, and it would be easier to see how much he knew about the Gems he was now after, it would also give them a good estimate on how much time they had before he moved onto the next kingdom. It wouldn’t be a bad position to be in, but he would have to be very careful, especially now he's the holder of one of the Gems.

The sound of hooves hitting the gravel ground up ahead removed Richard from his heavy thinking as his navy gaze moved towards the path leading up through a small portion of the village towards the palace in the distance, waves of soft clouds framing the buildings structure a sight sure to be held if not for the unfortunate circumstances.

The tension and fear was thick in the air as everyone's eyes were glued to the direction of the noise, the air grew quiet as everyone waited in silent fear for what was going to happen.

As King Damien and his men rode into the clearing their horses heaving trotting kicking up plumes of gravel and dust, Richard’s eyes landed on the black flags joined to long black polls the King's men were holding in their iron grasp, the Kings marking now blades of lighting instead of the soft swirls of wind. After King Author’s defeat, Damien had refused to keep the seals the same, he even changed the color of the flags.

Everyone held their breath as the four guards surrounding King Damien parted from him direction their horses towards the platform towards the front of the crowd. Their silver armor gleaming in the sunlight and red cloaks fluttering behind them, with stone faces they remained on their horses and looked on, their eyes free of any emotion as King Damien scanned his black eyes over the crowd before moving towards his guards, positioning himself between them, two on each side.

Richard scanned the older man's face, his lips were tilted up in a forced smile as he was about to address the crowd, though the warm smile he had on his face did nothing to calm the crowds as his eyes remained stone cold, a soul-destroying gaze swept over the crowd before he began to speak.

“Good afternoon subjects!” He spread his arms wide as Richard saw his eyes look between the people before him. “Today brings great joy! As you all know some of you will be joining my army and will train under my watchful eye.” Rubbing his hands together he once again fixed his gaze on a few people in the front before moving towards the back, like the predator picking out its next kill.

Richard could have sworn he felt cold daggers on him for a second before Damien’s gaze moved on to the next poor soul. Richard could tell Damien was taking his time with his choosing, for this time it wasn’t going to be a simple guarding job, he had more in store because of the outcomes the past week had brought, or maybe it was something else, with King Damien you never knew.

“Now, for those of you, today will be the start of something exciting.” Damien sneered, his twisted smile only intensified as his black stare targeted the person he wanted.


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Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:02 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi it's @Dossereana back to do a review, sorry this one took so long, I had a bit of a pause. So lets get right into it.

Richard had been rather hesitant to leave Grace by herself in the mountain when Ryan had informed him she wouldn’t be going to the village with them. Of course, he didn’t expect her to come along, what with King Damien after her, and he was sure he had a large bounty on his head now that he figuring out the power of the Gem he had just stolen from the King.


Oh Richard you stooped boy, you have two things to worry about, ones able to kill anyone from bellow it, and the other's able to move there for get lost. What have you done to your life.

Now he knew how to activate it he wouldn’t be the only one able to use it, if he told others about it, people he could trust, another rebellion could be possible, more would be more inclined to join. Richard could only imagine what the battle would look like, fire breathing warriors storming through the palace eager to take back the Kingdom.

“Richard!”


XD you wish Richard, he'll find out that it's not going to be that easy. Lol Ryan's like earth to Richard hello.

“Huh?” removed from his wild thoughts Richard looked up only to find Ryan wasn’t there anymore, but now riding beside him, a questioning look now covering his features. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Richard asked a guilty smile spreading across his face.


Wow dude no wonder you such a pain, your ears block out all the noise unless you choose to hear it. Poor Ryan what did he get left with when Richards parent's died. A pain in his gray hairs that's for sure.

“Hmm? Oh yes, remember to keep low in the village, I hear King Damien has quiet the temper at the moment, and I can only imagine why.” Ryan sent Richard a skeptical look as if trying to get his point across.


XD Damien has more then a temper Ryan, oh you'll find that out soon. Just don't get in the frying line that wouldn't be pleasant.

As King Damien and his men rode into the clearing their horses heaving trotting kicking up plumes of gravel and dust, Richard’s eyes landed on the black flags joined to long black polls the King's men were holding in their iron grasp, the Kings marking now blades of lighting instead of the soft swirls of wind. After King Author’s defeat, Damien had refused to keep the seals the same, he even changed the color of the flags.


Oh here it comes the awesome part. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time now.
Tally Ho here comes Damien the King who's people fear him, the one who loves to cause a blood bath, he is coming, he is coming.

“Good afternoon subjects!” He spread his arms wide as Richard saw his eyes look between the people before him. “Today brings great joy! As you all know some of you will be joining my army and will train under my watchful eye.” Rubbing his hands together he once again fixed his gaze on a few people in the front before moving towards the back, like the predator picking out its next kill.


Oh I love this guy he gives me such a thrill. great joy shore I'm so existed I just can't hid it. :P Not, well get own with it I'm waiting for the calling of horror to be called out.

“Now, for those of you, today will be the start of something exciting.” Damien sneered, his twisted smile only intensified as his black stare targeted the person he wanted.


Lol Your so evil, your just mean as anything. Well if its so exciting why don't you just get own with it.

Okay that was the last thing I had to say about this chapter, it was so cool to read this chapter. Damien made this last part worth the wait. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter that's for sure. :)

Have a great day, I no I'm going to try to

@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement






Thank you again for another review Doss.



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Fri May 14, 2021 5:06 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi FlamingPhoenix,


Mailice here with a short review! :D


I haven't read the previous chapters, so I'll refer more to other points than the plot itself now.

"Huh?" removed from his wild thoughts Richard looked up only to find Ryan wasn't there anymore, but now riding beside him, a questioning look now covering his features. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Richard asked a guilty smile spreading across his face.


I think the beginning of the sentence is very good and as you put it, but I would reword it a bit as the "Huh?" seems a bit out of place when the sentence starts like that. As you have built up the style of the sentence so that it is dynamic, the Huh at the beginning looks like it has chopped off the sentence. I would try to include the expression of wonder/surprise in the sentence itself or leave it out altogether.

Richard could only nod his head in fear of what would happen if he said the wrong thing, it was clear Ryan hadn't gotten over the stunt he pulled when saving Grace, though he could never blame him, it was risky and he knew that when he saved her.


I've noticed that you have very long sentences now and then. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's not. Here I think it would be better if you split the sentence (or maybe separate it with a full stop), because the main and subordinate clauses seem very choppy when they are connected like that.

He was only grateful he was lucky enough not to get chosen, he and Ryan normally stuck to the outskirts so as not to draw too much attention to themselves.


This is another case where I think it would be better to split the sentences, otherwise it seems a bit strange to read. I'm not sure about the beginning, but I think you wanted to write: "He was only grateful because he was lucky enough"? Because it sounds very unpolished in the text.

I've been hearing rumours about someone stealing an item of some sort from the King, looks like you aren't the only one looking for trouble, King Damien might be getting a little suspicious


I think the main point I'm trying to review here is your attempts to create these long sentences that sometimes take the reader's breath away. This sentence here says Ryan and when I try to pronounce it I can't. :D Again, I would change structure a bit.

I don't know how exactly to avoid long sentences because I write long sentences myself and don't notice it right away. I think the only tip I can give you here is to try reading through some passages out loud after you've written them, to see for yourself where you could replace a comma with a full stop, for example, or shorten the sentence in general. I think that reading it aloud gives you a different perspective on the story than reading it silently in your head.

The rest of the ride to the Kingdom was spent in silence between the two men, their brown cloaks fluttering behind them in the chilly north wind.


Here's another example where you could have separated the sentence, even if it wasn't too long. You do that a lot in the text and I don't know if you don't like the sentences to be short or if you write too fast. In this case, you could have tried to connect the two parts of the sentence with an adverb.I think you can improve some of these sentences with this.

Apart from these long sentences and the sometimes halting structure, which seems a little inflexible, I found the story very well told. You have an exciting and calm narration that is similar to a horseback ride. I really enjoyed reading it. You also have a very dynamic way of writing, you specifically try to show different kinds of structures, which in most cases you succeed in doing. Especially your attempt to alternate between passive and active sentences is a very big plus and helps to keep the reading flow varied.

I can't say much about the plot. It seemed to me that not much happened in the chapter, but I can't judge that because I lack the previous knowledge of the last chapters as a comparison. Nevertheless, I liked the pace. I also liked the dialogue. You could tell Ryan and Richard apart well when they spoke, and you could also tell their own tics. It was a great chapter that showed me you have a good and varied writing style.

Enjoy your writing!

Mailice.






Thank you so much for your help! I am working on not making my sentences to long at the moment, that is something I do have a hard time with.

I'm glad I have managed to do well with the other things in the chapter, I worked really hard on those.

Just one little thing at a time!

Again thank you for the review, I do hope I will see more of your reviews!



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Sun Apr 18, 2021 12:40 pm
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I am baaack...for this chapter too...catching up now finally....okay..let's get to it...

First Impression: Well...this is set up to be quite interesting going forward. It definitely ended on quite the cliffhanger there...so I can't wait to find out what happens next. And this chapter...is looking good at first glance. Let's get down into more detail down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Richard had been rather hesitant to leave Grace by herself in the mountain when Ryan had informed him she wouldn’t be going to the village with them. Of course, he didn’t expect her to come along, what with King Damien after her, and he was sure he had a large bounty on his head now that he figuring out the power of the Gem he had just stolen from King Damien.


Oh he definitely has a large bounty on his head from the stunts he's pulled there.

Richard watched Ryan ride his stallion in silence, sometimes he wondered what the man thought about, did he ever think about the rebellion that happened fourteen years ago, and regret the part he played in it? He knew he thought about it all the time, even though he could hardly remember anything, he sometimes wished he knew more, but never asked.


Oooh...definitely some interesting thoughts to be considering there.

As the two drew closer to the village Richard’s thoughts began to wander back to the Gem he had left behind, now that he knew about its power, should he use it? If he does, would he be as bad as King Damien, using the power of the Gem for his own needs? Though he would be doing it to save the Kingdom and the others out there from Damien’s strong hunger for power.

Now he knew how to activate it he wouldn’t be the only one able to use it, if he told others about it, people he could trust, another rebellion could be possible, more would be more inclined to join. Richard could only imagine what the battle would look like, people turned into dragons storming through King Damien’s palace eager to take back the Kingdom that used to flourish under King Arthur’s rule.


Well...that would certainly make for quite a visual, oh yup...dragons just storming a palace fighting against waves of guards makes for some really interesting battles for sure.

“Richard!”

“Huh?” removed from his wild thoughts Richard looked up only to find Ryan wasn’t there anymore, but now riding beside him, a questioning look now covering his features. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Richard asked a guilty smile spreading across his face.

Sighing, Ryan shook his head. “Don’t worry about Grace, I had a small talk with her, and she understands she must remain in the mountain.”

‘Oh if only.’ Richard thought shaking his head. After what happened yesterday Richard could tell Grace was just as stubborn as he was at her age, so he could only imagine the trouble she could be getting up to now that she was alone and free to do whatever she wanted.


Oh I have a feeling Grace will definitely end up joining them at some point, she's definitely more than capable of finding her way out of there and then finding the two of them in the village.

Coming out of his thoughts Richard’s clear blue gave shifted over to Ryan who rode quietly next to him as if he was thinking about something himself. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Hmm? Oh yes, remember to keep low in the village, I hear King Damien has quiet the temper at the moment, and I can only imagine why.” Ryan sent Richard a skeptical look as if trying to get his point across.


Oh its definitely very easy to see why King Damien would be having a bit of a temper at the moment.

Richard could only nod his head in fear of what would happen if he said the wrong thing, it was clear Ryan hadn’t gotten over the stunt he pulled when saving Grace, though he could never blame him, it was risky and he knew that when he saved her.

Curious Richard pulled Thunder’s reins bringing the horse to a slower trot next to Ryan, “I was just wondering, why do we need to go to the village, we have enough food to last us another week?”

“Richard we can’t come and go as we please, King Damien is a very observant man and would notes if we just show up once every few weeks, besides after what you pulled we wouldn’t want him starting to become suspicious.” Ryan paused to look in Richard’s direction, “His also choosing another to join his army today, and the entire village has to be there, it’s not like we have a choice in the matter as it is.”


Oooh...well that's definitely some quite smart thinking there by Ryan. Thinking ahead to potential issues like that is definitely a really good sign.

Getting his drift Richard looked away, he had forgotten about that. It was horrible how King Damien demanded more join his army every year, sometimes more than once. He was only grateful he was lucky enough to not get chosen, he and Ryan normally stuck to the outskirts so as not to draw too much attention to themselves. He could only wonder whom King Damien would pick this year.


Well...as evil as that is, definitely a very effective strategy being employed by King Damien to end up with an absolutely massive army.

“I have a feeling the choosing might be a little different this time,” Ryan’s expression remained emotionless as he spoke. “He's going to be aiming for the young men, after what’s happened lately with you killing one of his men and now Grace, I can only assume he's going to be choosing those who are more agile and young.” Letting loose a low sigh Ryan continued, “Over the past few days I’ve been hearing rumors about someone stealing an item of some sort from the King, looks like you aren’t the only one looking for trouble, King Damien might be getting a little suspicious.” Ryan sent Richard a sideways glance before continuing. “Although, being there are two of you with a death wish it just means it will be harder for Damien to track you down...so I guess that's a good thing.”

As Ryan continued to ramble more about what he had heard, Richard couldn’t help but drift into his own thoughts of worry. ‘He is right though, if there were more it would be a lot harder for Damien to find us, although I have been very careful about keeping my identity hidden.’ Richard paused his train of thought when his actions the night he saved Grace came into his head, he could have been a lot more careful about how he did it, it could have given Damien a lead if the guards saw who he was, but the mask he wore was on hiding most of his facial features. He was just glad he hadn’t slipped up, it was a very poorly put together plan that could have ended in disaster.


Well...all of that is really interesting information, I am definitely going to try and figure out who this other thief might be...I already have a couple of ideas...ahh...well...this just continues to get more exciting the further I read.

“Maybe if there are others, there could be a chance to take back the kingdom,” Ryan said rubbing his chin as he thought, his green gaze fixed on the trees above, the leafless branches giving no protection from the sun’s heat.

‘If only.’ Richard thought, wishing there were more rebelling against the King, but it only being him and Vanessa and maybe one or two others, it wasn’t enough. If they wanted this to work they would have to join up with other kingdoms, though the chances of them agreeing was as slim as the river that ran through the kingdom drying out. Although if he reviled the Gem and its power to the other rulers there was a chance they would change their mind, but there was also a large chance they would try to get hold of its power for themselves, maybe he should ask Vanessa and Mikel about it later, see what they think he should do.


Oooh I sense a possible, resistance teamup somewhere down the line here...oooh...that should end up being a suuper interesting little meeting. I wonder how many others will eventually be added in, or will it stay just as the three of them and then maybe Richard's brother and sister... ;)

The rest of the ride to the Kingdom was spent in silence between the two men, their brown cloaks fluttering behind them in the chilly north wind. The sun had now reached it peek its hot rays beating down on the kingdom below, signaling the time of choosing was near.

Remaining on their horses Richard and Ryan slowed them down to a slow walk so they could weave between the crowds, heading towards the court in the upper-class once they entered the village through a dark alleyway so they wouldn’t be noticed.


A nice little bit of description there.

As the two made their way up to the gathering place through the packed streets, they could feel the tension in the air as they all knew someone would be chosen to become a solder to the King. It used to be an honor to join the King's defense, but that was when King Author still ruled, after his death, Damien took control with an iron fist.

Keeping his head low under the hood of his cloak Richard looked around him, as young men as himself walked with gloomy expressions adorning their faces, their families next to them, a look of sorrow in their eyes.


You're certainly capturing the atmosphere of the surrounding here quite well. We can see how this whole scenario is definitely not looked upon as anything good by the people of the kingdom.

Parting from the thick throngs of people Richard moved towards a tall brick house that was along the border of the empty marketplace the crowds were now gathering into, the shadow it cast providing a dark cover. Ryan rode up next to Richard his expression holding small hints of worry as he and Richard settled behind the people in the large gathering area, used as the market in the upper-class of the village.

Richard only had to look at Ryan to know what he was thinking, he too knew for the past few years he had been lucky enough to not be chosen, and the chances of him being ignored now were very slim, they could only hope remaining in the shadows and on the border would keep them out of view.


Well...that's not a terrible plan, and it clearly has worked for a number of years so that's also proving that.

His worry then went to Grace, how would he look after her if he had to work for the King? Would Ryan be able to keep her out of trouble? What if their hideout was discovered? Would their plans to take back the Kingdom continue, or would they have to accept this is the way it was going to be?

Richard had to vigorously shake his head to banish the horrible thoughts that clouded his mind like a poisonous fog. If he did end up working for the King he would be one step closer to understanding his plan, and it would be easier to see how much he knew about the Gems he was now after, it would also give them a good estimate on how much time they had before he moved onto the next kingdom. It wouldn’t be a bad position to be in, but he would have to be very careful, especially now he's the holder of one of the Gems.


Hmm...that's actually some really interesting look into the emotions running through Richard's head there. It certainly adds towards making this story more realistic, it makes a lot of sense that he would be having thoughts like this at the moment.

The sound of hooves hitting the gravel ground up ahead removed Richard from his heavy thinking as his navy gaze moved towards the path leading up through a small portion of the village towards the palace in the distance, waves of soft clouds framing the buildings structure a sight sure to be held if not for the unfortunate circumstances.

The tension and fear were thick in the air as everyone's eyes were glued to the direction of the noise, the air grew quiet as everyone waited in silent fear for what was going to happen.

As King Damien and his men rode into the clearing their horses heaving trotting kicking up plumes of gravel and dust, Richard’s eyes landed on the black flags joined to long black polls the King's men were holding in their iron grasp, the Kings marking now blades of lighting instead of the soft swirls of wind. After King Author’s defeat, Damien had refused to keep the seals the same, he even changed the color of the flags.


Okay...nice attention to detail there as the entrance of King Damien is written there. It's definitely showcasing the kind of impact that King Damien has had on everyone in the village and what his way of ruling is.

Everyone held their breath as the four guards surrounding King Damien parted from him direction their horses towards the platform towards the front of the crowd. Their silver armor gleaming in the sunlight and red cloaks fluttering behind them with stone faces they remained on their horses and looked on, their eyes free of any emotion as King Damien scanned his black eyes over the crowd before moving towards his guards, positioning himself between them, two on each side.

Richard scanned the older man's face, his lips were tilted up in a forced smile as he was about to address the crowd, though the warm smile he had on his face did nothing to calm the crowds as his eyes remained stone cold, a soul-destroying gaze swept over the crowd before he began to speak.


Quite a description there, definitely bringing across elements of what kind of a character King Damien is here.

“Good afternoon subjects!” He spread his arms wide as Richard saw his eyes look between the people before him. “Today brings great joy! As you all know some of you will be joining my army and will train under my watchful eye.” Rubbing his hands together he once again fixed his gaze on a few people in the front before moving towards the back, like the predator picking out its next kill.


Ahh of course he has to pretend like that is going to be a great then when it will probably entail just a ton of torturous stuff.

Richard could have sworn he felt cold daggers on him for a second before Damien’s gaze moved on to the next poor soul. Richard could tell Damien was taking his time with his choosing, for this time it wasn’t going to be a simple guarding job, he had more in store because of the outcomes the past week had brought, or maybe it was something else, with King Damien you never knew.

“Now, for those of you, today will be the start of something exciting.” Damien sneered, his twisted smile only intensified as his black stare targeted the person he wanted.


Oh this is most definitely going to be someone important to us readers, I can just feel it....

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this was another really good chapter. I definitely enjoyed it. The descriptions scattered in there were pretty good. I have a feeling this is set to end up being quite the reveal in the next chapter. Hoping to get around to that as soon as I can.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






Thank you yet again for another wonderful review! They fill me with such joy!
This one was a lot of fun for me to write! I'm starting to set things up, and as I"m sure you can tell by now I'm twisting things up a little compared to my last draft! Hehehe
I can't wait to hear what you have to say about the next chapter!
Until then! Have a great day!




Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire