z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Tree Girl Chapter 10

by starbean


I "talked" with Elyse the rest of the week. We had grown closer and closer. She was my best friend. My only one, too but the best one I had ever had.

I was diagnosed with leukemia.

"How come you don't talk?" she inquired one day.

I wrote on the pad, "Because I am nervous. Whenever I am in a social situation, I guess I just freeze up. Also, my grandma just died."

"Oh. I am sorry." she said softly.

We sat there in silence for a while.

"I have cancer too. I have been in here for a while. I have lymphoma, not leukemia though." she said.

"I am sorry." I wrote.

"It sucks, but I am getting better. I hope you do too." she replied. 

She reached out and squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back.

"Its okay. I have gotten used to it. At least I get to be homeschooled." she said bluntly.

It was late now, almost 9:00. We went to sleep.

The next morning, when I woke up I had breakfast, and then Dr. Reeds came in.

"Elana, today you are going to have your first round of chemo. For day 1, you will just get a pill but by next week you will do the normal way."

She took a bottle out of her hand, and it sounded like normal pills. She had poured three or four into my hand, but she picked one out and handed it to me. I fingered it in my hand. It was bright red, and kind of soft. I popped it into my mouth, and when I was about to swallow it, Dr. Reeds said that I had to chew it. So I did.

It tasted horrible, like how I thought that stinky socks would taste. I quickly swallowed it and guzzled the glass of water on my night table. At that time I knew that it was the only one of those pills that I would take. I didn't know if regular chemo was going to be much better, but it had to be better than the pills.

Each day of the week, the amount of tests and times I was taken out of the hospital room increased. My mom visited me every day, but she wasn't allowed to stay very long. Elyses mom did too, and it was kind of awkward the first time I saw Elyse's mom and she asked me a bunch of questions. She was a talker too, and by the time Elyse had been able to tell her that I didn't talk, she had asked me five questions. Elyse explained, and I buried my face into my pillow. I wasn't a huge fan of Elyse's mom, but I would live. 

Wouldn't I?


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Points: 385
Reviews: 1

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Fri Oct 06, 2023 3:06 am
Dirt says...



Wow!!! You wrote so well!!! Did you make more chapters, and if so, how can I find them?




starbean says...


k;fadljsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssskjldljkdfljkdfkjljkfdskjsdakfjdskl;fjldask dof oieqw whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy



Dirt says...


Wow! Did you write more chapters, and if so, where can I find them?



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105 Reviews


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Reviews: 105

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Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:00 pm
momonster wrote a review...



Hello! ASDHFSJDHGKJH I'm so excited for chapter 11!!!!!!!!!!

This is a great chapter! It tells us more about Elana's situation in the hospital, and sets the scene for future chapters!!

"How come you don't talk?" she inquired one day.

I think you should specify who is talking here! Just so we don't think that it's one of the doctors talking.

"Its okay. I have gotten used to it....

That should be it's here.

Elyses mom did too, and...

That should be Elyse's here.

That's it! Great job; keep writing!!
Momo




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166 Reviews


Points: 9676
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Sun Jan 31, 2021 5:47 am
DreamyAlice wrote a review...



Hey Alice is here to give a review!!!

Good work Hannah you are doing great so far and as I wanted you have added a character with whom Elana could talk and share her feelings. And even if you don't get enough reviews some times it's totally okay still you should continue writing this novel if you want to.


Suggestions


I "talked" with Elyse the rest of the week. We had grown closer and closer. She was my best friend. My only one, too but the best one I had ever had.


Maybe you could have added more to it, to spice it up, like you both eat together or Elyse's habits like she snores at night which disturbs your sleep or something like that you know, to show their bond.



I wasn't a huge fan of Elyse's mom, but I would live.

Wouldn't I?


I will pray for you Elana you will definitely live, but I can't say much, your life is left upon the hands of your writer she can only decide to let you live or not.

I am obviously, definitely, doubtlessly, not at all a sus




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Sun Jan 31, 2021 12:03 am
SpunkyMonkey wrote a review...



Hi! Spunky here to review!

Grows:

My only one, too but the best one I had ever had.

The comma is in the wrong place. It should be "one too, but etc."

I was diagnosed with leukemia.

That really stuck out to me. It seems like it shouldn't be there, because it came out of nowhere. Consider deleting that part.

She had poured three or four into my hand, but she picked one out and handed it to me.

Wait...she poured it in your hand but also gave one to you??? This needs to be edited. I'm pretty sure you meant "She had poured three or four into her hand,"

Glows:

I "talked" with Elyse the rest of the week. We had grown closer and closer. She was my best friend. My only one, too but the best one I had ever had.

Aww, I'm so happy for Elana! She finally has a friend!

It tasted horrible, like how I thought that stinky socks would taste.

I've never had those types of pills, but I have had so SUPER disgusting ones. And yes, they tasted like stinky socks. Yuck. Why do they have to make them like that?

I wasn't a huge fan of Elyse's mom, but I would live.

Wouldn't I?

AHHH! I love that cliffhanger! Everything is already suspenseful, so it's amazing that you were able to pull off a cliffhanger. Awesome job! Keep up the good work!

this review is looking kinda sus...





Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind