Published April 8, 2007
This is just a tiny bit of Ice Cubes I decided to post this before the rest of the chapters :S I'm not sure why but hhaha there you go 
Please i would like to know what you think of this, if you haven't read any more of my Ice Cubes Stuff thats ok just I'm getting pretty stuck with this, It has to be in for my portfolio soon *dies* oh my this is such hard work!
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That night I decided to go through the hundreds of CD’s that I had somehow collected over the years. I wanted to play something that would make me cry, it was one of those days that you think well…if I’m going to cry it may as well be over a sappy love song or something. Yet none of the songs I had particularly matched this. So I played ‘Itchycoo Park’ By Small faces. That was Mom’s favourite song, and it made me feel close to her again. I wasn’t sure why I felt like my world had fallen apart. But when I thought about it, it was because I was in love with him. Rob. It’s a strange thing, love…isn’t it? From what I have experienced, its that feeling you get when your sitting on a train. You think your moving, when, in fact, it’s the train next to you that is heading for its destination and your still grounded at the station. Or, maybe…this will explain it better. When your going up the stairs in the dark, that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach when you take another step, your foot falls down and you realise that there are no more stairs to climb. I knew that I had always wanted what I couldn’t have in life and this time it was completely ridiculous, wrong… and even if Rob somehow loved me like that as well it just wouldn’t be allowed, I wish life was so simple. Gosh.
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140,277 Literary Works • 673,071 Reviews
Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was a well constructed excerpt. I really liked how carefully you have captured the narrator's reflections. The entire piece takes place inside her head and I think you have given us quite an accurate description of her mental state in the moment.
I wish you had given us more background information here. I am not sure if this story has other installments preceeding this one, but I would very much like to know why the narrator's life was falling apart and how. It is quite natural that in these times of despair, she would turn to the memory of her mother whom she loved very much. Here, I think you could have explored his emotions of loss and grief, instead of kust skimmong through the part.
I loved both these analogies of love that you have provided here. Again I think it very accurately gives us an idea of the narrator's mental state and the dilemma she is currently caught in. I would love to know more about her relationship with Rob and why she is in such despair about it. I feel like we are missing some vital piece of information here, I just can't put my finger on it.
I think what you really need to do here is break this block of text into smaller paragraphs and then expand on them. Otherwise, it feels a little daunting to read and your readers will get scared away before they even get into the story.
Keep writing and have a great day!
oh and Canned Beans will be no more! I have finished with that :\ I was stuck on where its going, unless you have any suggestions on it i will be happy to listen!
Miyaviloves
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thanks Alainna
Oh i know i name things confusinly, it goes (from my portfolio)
1 Ice Cubes
Ice Cubes #2
Ice Cubes #3
2 Ice Cubes #4
Ice Cubes #5
3 Ice Cubes #6
Ice Cubes #7
Ice Cubes #8
Ice Cubes #9
And now this peice that is set way into the story i have wrote quite a bit now just havent posted for a while...
But anyway i the reason for the numbers before some of the titles (such as 3 Ice cubes #6) is becuase that is the chapter number, so that would be chapter three, if you get me? its just so i can keep track sorry for any confusion
thanks for taking a look!
Miyaviloves
XxX
I've read bits of this already........when you had it as canned beans.
This is a good start and I really like this:
Wow.........that is great because the reader can definitely relate to that.
I'm a little confused as to what order Ice cubes should be read in and what are the final pieces etc...
Great stuff,
Alainna
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