Young Writers Society

Hello, your poem is very realistic and is talking about the dangers of meeting people on the internet and falling for them. That is indeed very dangerous as you do not know a person well when you talk like that to them, hey can lie and no one would be the wiser. Actions speak louder than words, or in this case text messages. My favourite lines were

"i fell in love with a stranger
through bits and bytes
we have never seen each other"

The poem also has sad tones like when you said

"he tore me apart, and then
he scavenged the debris
for any more pieces he could get his hands on"

And the narrator is justly angry at the person an very hurt, as seen in the lines

"thinking about him makes me
seethe in anger and boil with hatred
not only for him, but myself"

I like how you put so much feeling in the poem when you said you fell in love

"through empty words,
broken promises,
meaningless dreams"

And then about the advice abut not ripping yourself apart for a stranger, it's so true and well-meant.
One should not believe the sweet talking of people from the internet. I was almost fooled too. Like my older brother said a long-distance relationship is not really a relationship at all.

Hello, your poem is very realistic and is talking about the dangers of meeting people on the internet and falling for them. That is indeed very dangerous as you do not know a person well when you talk like that to them, hey can lie and no one would be the wiser. Actions speak louder than words, or in this case text messages. My favourite lines were

"i fell in love with a stranger
through bits and bytes
we have never seen each other"

The poem also has sad tones like when you said

"he tore me apart, and then
he scavenged the debris
for any more pieces he could get his hands on"

And the narrator is justly angry at the person an very hurt, as seen in the lines

"thinking about him makes me
seethe in anger and boil with hatred
not only for him, but myself"

I like how you put so much feeling in the poem when you said you fell in love

"through empty words,
broken promises,
meaningless dreams"

And then about the advice abut not ripping yourself apart for a stranger, it's so true and well-meant.
One should not believe the sweet talking of people from the internet. I was almost fooled too. Like my older brother said a long-distance relationship is not really a relationship at all.

Your poem was amazing! I really like how you expressed your feelings in this poem. The rhymes made it fun to read even though the poem's topic was pretty sad. I'm sure a bunch of people relate to this poem which makes it interesting for them to read. I loved how you started this poem with the paragraph:

"i fell in love with a stranger
through bits and bytes
we have never seen each other"

It makes me want to finish the poem. It makes me feel curious to the point where I would ask myself, "What's going to happen next?". This paragraph:

"i fell in love with a stranger
he's more of a stranger now
than he ever was before we met"

Made me, as a reader, feel different emotions. I also noticed that you didn't capitalize anything. Either way, this poem was great! I love your writing style and I really enjoyed reading your poem. I'll be reading your other poems in the future. That's all and have a great day!^^

Oooooh! This is such a great poem!

First of all, I love how you’ve depicted a failed long distance relationship. I like how you were vague about how the narrator’s SO has hurt them, as it allows the reader to use their imagination. My only gripe would usually be that nothing is capitalized, however, it’s a bit of a genius stylistic choice in this context. The lack of capitalization makes the whole poem feel kind of like an internet message. I can’t wait to see more from you!

Hey there! Sofie here with a review.

I thought this piece was really moving. I think you captured a feeling that a lot of us can relate to. I especially liked this line;

"but with every message,
there was another thread
connecting us from miles away"

I think that was such a brilliant metaphor-the idea of these threads connect people from so far away.

The last line was really heartbreaking. I totally felt your disappointment in the person and at the situation. Good work!

The poem contains the emotions of helplessness and anger. It is calling out to all those people who have been wronged.

"not only for him, but myself" I like the acceptance of a mistake that has been made and not just playing a blame game. That speaks a lot about how the person is.

"he tore me apart, and then
he scavenged the debris
for any more pieces he could get his hands on"

The stanza above is the epicenter of all the emotions that builds within the reader as well as the poet. It brings out so much agony that it could lead a person to an emotional shock.

The world is a dark place and we need to be cautious of everyone around us. People just take whatever they need and leave. Its an unfair world. Making others happy is a selfless deed and people take advantage of that too. Point to be noted from this poem is that never trust anybody easily. Love yourself. Don't try to make others happy. If they are happy in what you do, only then, I think, they are the one for you.

My suggestion to you is to use more punctuation marks, especially commas and capitalize 'i' . Enjoyed reading and learning from the poem. Keep writing!

Best wishes,
I

Hi ...
I really enjoyed this poem very much... it really conveys true facts . i loved the way u started
"i fell in love with a stranger
through bits and bytes
we have never seen each other"
This will surely force the reader to read further .

This thing really happens in real life.... especially with girls as they easily trust anybody .
Even though u dont know him/her u start dreaming... this is the reality !

I just thought that u should capitalize the I in most of the sentences.
Otherwise your poem was really very fascinating !! amazing !!

From Sulagna

Hello! I really enjoyed reading this poem. If this is based off of personal experience, then I'm sorry this happened to you. Online friends can be nice but can turn toxic just like ones in real life.

1. I really liked the line "through bits and bytes." This connects well to the theme of online friends.

2. I think that after the second line in the third stanza you should put a comma.

3. The repetitive use of "I fell in love with a stranger" is very powerful, and helps show that even though you knew this person, you really didn't.

4. The last line, despite seeming a bit out of place, really wraps up the poem, taking from the last line of the first stanza and confirming that in the end, you two will remain strangers to each other.

5. The single line of "but I just wanted him to be happy" also seems a bit out of place.

Anyway, excellent work! The poem is very dark but very good. Keep writing!