Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
And looks like we're at my last review for this story for the day. I'll get to the other two tommorow.
First Impression: Well looks like that rescue mission might be a fail. Also I like that you didn't have him catch up to Ashe while she was being taken away. That makes the whole scenario feel much more realistic. Also how much tech does Kyre have on him at all times?
Anyway let's get right to it,
The cube shines a brilliant orange when I move it east, and a robotic voice intones monotonously, “2 heat sources found in 50-foot radius.” I wince at the noise and hastily shove it back into my pocket, walking quickly.
Well that seems like something pretty handy that he appears to have concocted himself which seems a little unlikely because Boss must have been tracking his purchases unless those have also been falsified somehow.
I hear a faint scrabbling and stop walking, feeling a cool trickle of sweat from my temple. The logical part of my brain tells me that it’s just a small animal, probably a rat or a squirrel, but my overactive imagination drowns it out. Shadows flit through my mind, teeth and claws and blood and pain and suffocating walls, so fast and with such force that I can't breathe. I stop for a moment next to a tree, then, without thinking it through, wrap my hand around the closest branch and haul myself up. My arms burn from exertion and are shaking by the time I sit up on the branch, but I don't feel safe. The darkness presses up around me, suffocating me with its nearness. It seems so impossibly near, so solid, I almost give up right there. Hell, I want to. But then Ashe’s face flashes through my mind, her brightness, her flaming presence, and warmth floods through me, pushing out the night.
Well good to see that he is being driven by the though of her.
I hesitantly look out, apprehensive, and the sight below confirms my suspicions. I’m ten feet above the edge of Government Headquarters. Ominous dark silver buildings glitter under synthetic light-orbs, their edges unnervingly sharp. Bright red dots--cameras, I realize--are spread systematically over nearly every surface, blinking at regular intervals, watching their designated areas ceaselessly. The ground there is hard concrete, with the occasional tree breaking the monotonousness.
Great description. Also the supposed Ruins that no one lives in is really close to the main government building. Seems a little unlikely.
I gauge the distance between my perch on the tree and the flat metallic roof of a building, then swallow hard. Fifteen feet. Ice flows through my veins and for a moment, I can't move. I think of Ashe again--the strange familiarity of her, the spark in her eyes when she's drawing on her tablet, the way she somehow pushes my fears away--and pull my legs into a crouch on the branch. For her. Balancing precariously, I carefully inch my way closer to the edge, breathing shallowly. The branch creaks under me and I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. My heart beats like a drum, so loud I can feel it vibrating within me, almost painful in my chest.
And another lovely bit of great description.
For a split second, I'm relieved that I made it to the roof, not the concrete ground, but that relief passes in less than a moment. Pain shoots like fire up my forearms, elbows, and knees, and the wind is knocked out of my body. I gasp, trying to force air into my lungs, but can't. The taste of iron floods my mouth. Black dots crowd my vision, then take over completely.
Well that was a bad idea. And now he'll probably be caught on the cameras too. Looks like both of them are doomed to be erased. Maybe.
And that's it for the day.
Overall: Yet another great chapter. Lovely emotion displayed from Kyre's point of view there. You can feel it really well. Once again I don't see much wrong here. It's been a great story to read.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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