z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Last Hope ~ Chapter One

by kathrynrid


One night very, very late after the library had closed, I, Samantha Robin, and my best friend, Zoey, were searching desperately for answers. I mean DESPERATELY. Like, when you need to find out if you're having pizza for dinner so you bug your mom till she gives you a punishment. You might be wondering, why in the world are these girls doing this? I mean it's a library, for goodness sake! They seriously want a book that bad?! Well, not just any book. Of course, I'm not going to leave you wondering the answers to these questions. Why don't we start from the beginning? Keep reading and don't put it down till you're done!

It all started on a warm Thursday morning at Glenvar High School. All the ninth-graders were running down the sidewalk, including me and Zoey. The sun glowed on our bright, excited faced. Around the corner, I could see the brown and white short building. White and pink blossoms grew on the trees letting off a beautiful fragrance. Little shrubs grew up all around the library. Through the library windows, I could see kids of all ages reading or talking to their friends. It was here and no one could stop it. It was Library Day.

"Zoey!" I screamed. "It's finally here!"

"I know! I have a brain!" she replied, rolling her eyes.

I walked on the purple and red carpet past the main desk and into the main library area.I walked down the purple and red striped carpet past the round main desk and into the library area. The sun shinned down through the huge windows lined up on the wall. Black bookshelves were lined up all in a row. Pictures framed with gold hung on the end of each shelf. My best friend, Zoey, flopped in a chair at the corner of the room.

"Sam, how do you even like library day?" she asked, pulling back her brown short hair.

"Duh! It's because it's filled with wonder!" I yelled, waving my hands around like a crazed maniac.

"Well, have fun!" she replied sarcastically.

I wandered through the tall shelves and pulled out the wondrous books. To me, every book in this library was like a secret. A secret that was just yearning to get out and tell its story to the lucky kid who got ahold of it. After exploring practically the whole library, I pulled out a book called 'Kristy's Great Idea By Ann M. Martin'. When I was about to read it, I heard a high-pitched voice squeal my name from the other side of the shelf. I had to figure out if someone was gossiping about me. I just had to! I peeked around the corner to see Kelsey, one of the meanest girls in the school and she happens to be in my grade. She's really proud and she bullies everyone. Her favorite thing to read is gossiping magazines and she is totally obsessed with her cellphone. Today, she was wearing her designer black boots, slim jeans, pink t-shirt, white jogging jacket, and her face was literally smothered with makeup, mostly sparkles. She paced back and forth in the aisle. One hand was holding her expensive black iPhone up to her ear and the other was inspecting her flawless dark pink fingernails and flicking her long blond ponytail.

"Wow! This is so funny! Zoey eats paste? I seriously never knew that! I will tease her till the day she dies!", she shrieked. "Oh, listen to this! Samantha Robin has a brother named Robbie! How old is he? More people should make books like this. But how do they figure out this priceless information about Sam's life?"

After blabbering for a while, she slid the book back into the shelf and sashayed away. Right when she disappeared around the corner, I grabbed the book and examined the cover. It was red and it had six words printed on the front in gold. Six terrifying words. The book was called, 'The Secret Life of Samantha Robin'.

"What?!", I yelled.

Zoey peeked around the corner. She looked at me like I was some weirdo. It was the look I usually gave her when she acted like a complete idiot.

"Sam, what's wrong with you?!" she shouted.

"This is what's wrong with me!" I replied, shoving the red book into Zoey's face.

"Wow, Sam! You're famous! Can I have your autograph?" she exclaimed, pushing her notebook into my face.

"No, Zoey! I'm not famous! Someone's probably stalking me!" I cried.

"Ooh! It's just like in those detective movies!" Zoey replied.

"No, this isn't good. I'm going to check this out and read it in the bus."

I ran to the smaller area of the library and waited in line for my turn. When I got up there, a friendly face greeted me. The face belonged to Mr. Miller, the head librarian.

"Hello, Samantha! Are you ready to check out?", he said.

I nodded and handed him the red book. He was too busy talking to me to read the front cover.

"Is Mallory Robin related to you?", he asked.

"Yeah. She's my aunt. I've never met her before, though. My parents say she's a little paranoid."

"Oh," Mr. Miller replied surprised. "She seems pretty nice. She just started working here as my helper. You might be able to meet her another day, but she's busy right now."

"Students, buses are going to leave in five minutes," the loud speaker in the library said. "Everyone head to the bus lot."

I grabbed my black jogging jacket and zipped it up around me. Like always, me and Zoey walked together down the sidewalk to the bus lot. The wind stung our eyes and pushed back out hair. I slid the book inside my backpack as we waited for our bus to arrive. Once it did, we embarked into the lot, surrounded by tons of other kids. We squeezed into the bus and sat in the second seat down from the front.

"Open your backpack! Open your backpack!" Zoey exclaimed.

"Ok, ok!"

I zipped down my backpack and started to search. Gum rappers... no... folders... no.... an empty paste bottle? Zoey must have been eating my paste again. She'll be lucky if she lives to tomorrow. It had just... vanished. My phone started to ring in its very annoying tone that I have no idea how to change. I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Sam. It's your mom. Since tomorrow is a Saturday and we have nothing planned, I was wondering if you would like Zoey to come over for a sleepover."

"Yes, yes, yes!", Zoey squealed.

"Great! Remember, I won't be home till eleven tonight," Mom replied. "Bye, sweetie!"

"Bye!", I replied as I hung up.

"Awesome! Have you found the book?", Zoey asked.

"Uh.... no. What if..."

I quickly dialed in the library's number.

"Hello, this is Glenvar Library. This is Mallory. How may I help you?"

It was my aunt!

"Uh... hi...", I stuttered. "Could you check if you have the book The Secret Life of Samantha Robin?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure," she said. "Yeah, we have it. There's only one copy. Are you interested in holding it?"

"Um... no. Bye!"


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47 Reviews


Points: 574
Reviews: 47

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Tue Mar 20, 2018 12:35 am
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SubSubLibrarian wrote a review...



This is an interesting beginning. I enjoyed reading this chapter because I can definitely relate to Sam. There are somethings that could uses some attention and editing.
First things first, your introduction paragraph is slightly off-balance. The late night element of the library visit was stressed a lot, but the girls were in the library during school hours, not at all late. They certainly had some questions, but the way you describe their library visit initially led me to believe that they had questions prior to the visit and were looking for answers to those questions, like they had gone purely for that purpose.
Also, your writing is very abrupt and your sentence structure is short and kind of lacking since the shortness is somewhat repetitive. It would be nice to have some variety, as well as a little more description. There are also some parts that don't flow very well. Like the transition from the phone call to her mom to the pair of them looking for the library book again. A couple other things. Your dialogue punctuation is really odd. In some parts you put a punctuation mark of some kind inside the quotation marks followed by a comma outside of the quotation. The comma is unnecessary. If you have any questions about that, feel free to message me. I've had trouble with that in the past. You also might want to take care of a spacing issue. The beginning seemed to be double spaced, but it suddenly turned into single spacing.
Overall, I really loved this chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more. The unknown aunt part did confuse me a bit because I felt like she would have at least met her aunt once, especially since she lived nearby and even if she was crazy. But I'm assuming that will be developed more in later chapters. I really like the aunt thing though. It adds a little spice to the thickening plot.
Good luck!




kathrynrid says...


Wow! Thanks so much! Actually, it was late after school hours. It started in the middle of the story to give you suspense and curiosity and it also helps you to keep reading. Then, it switches to the beginning, leaving many questions unanswered. Her parents don't have any connections with her aunt. The next chapters are out. Thanks again! : )



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33 Reviews


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Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:38 pm
AnimalQueen wrote a review...



Wow! Impressive! I like the plot here. Zoey, for one seems very hyper, not that that's a bad thing. She reminds me of my little sister. And Samantha sounds like me. I also love books with my heart and soul. And I like the crazy aunt touch. I'm glad she's not MY aunt. I'd be furious if anyone published a book about my private life. Over all, I'm very interested in where this is going. I'm kind of hoping Samantha will get revenge on her Aunt Mallory. On Kelsey too, I hope. I wonder if Zoey's opinion will change about the book?




kathrynrid says...


Thanks so much! I'm not sure if Sam is the revenge type, though. Actually, Mallory didn't write the book. But that leaves a question unanswered, who did? I will get to that in a later chapter. Thanks again! : )



kathrynrid says...


Chapter three is out! : )



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Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:44 am
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Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here for a brief review.

Thanks for sharing this story concerning a girl who has a weird experience related to a book written about her which she finds at the public library. I liked the casual approach that you used to introduce the main character. Made me feel that I as listening to you in person telling me what happened. I like the way that drama was immediately created by having the girls late at night in a public library. To me that indicated that they had broken in and were there illegally. I was wondering what had motivated these girls to break the law that way. But gradually I realized that it wasn't late at night at all, there were other people there. So that confused me.

Nevertheless, I still was intrigued by the mysterious book and wanted to learn how she wound up having a biography written about her. I also wondered why she was't aware that her aunt was employed in the local library. These things deepened the mystery and kept me reading and waiting for an explanation.

Then the book disappears, the girl calls the library, and the story suddenly stopped and left me with the mystery unresolved.

Suggestions

This is a very interesting story that has potential. All it needs is to tie loose ends together so that the mystery is resolved at the end. For example, if it is late at night and the library is closed, then checking out books would be impossible. That needs to be cleared up.

Also, reducing the spacing between some dialogue lines would be nice.

eight-graders [eighth graders]

Library Day [Proper noun]

stuck[-]up

Looking forward to reading more of your work.




kathrynrid says...


Wow! Thanks so much for the advice. The reason she didn't know her aunt was working there because no one in her family really had a good connection with Mallory and they never really kept up to date with her. I really appreciate you taking so much time to review this. Thanks again! : )



kathrynrid says...


Thanks for the donation! : ) Just to let you know, chapter two is out.



Radrook says...


Welcomed! Sorry that I misunderstood it as a short story instead of an intro chapter. Will be looking out fr it to continue reading. Thanks for letting me know.



kathrynrid says...


You're welcome!



kathrynrid says...


Chapter three is out! : )




trust your heart if the seas catch fire (and live by love though the stars walk backward)
— E.E. Cummings