Young Writers Society

Hiya there. Pastel here for a hopefully helpful review full of rambling!

As I'm a B I G fan of anything in the mysterious or horror genre, I obviously had to read this, and I wasn't disappointed a bit. Your use of words is quite nice, and your writing style combined with this really captivates me. I actually reread this a couple times because I enjoyed it that much.

My favorite part of this poem was the rhyming scheme. It's smooth, and seems very natural and not forced in the slightest. The scheme is very simple - A, B, A, B. Didn't have to look for it at all.

There was one line that confused me with the play of words:

"Not the facing kind."

As TheBlueCat said, what does facing kind mean? Was it just a rushed line to keep up the rhyming, or does it mean something deeper that needs explaining?

Well, that's the end of my review. Hopefully, it was helpful, and my apologies if you didn't enjoy it! Cheers!
- Pastel

Hullo Catalyn! Cat here to review this mysterious poem in the spirit of review day! Okay then, here we go!

First, let's go through your poem together (Anything in bold is my comments/suggestions/grammar help):

Hey, LittleLee is here for a review!
Alright, starting off, the poem is expressed very nicely, I like your use of words to captivate the reader's mind. I'll say that this is written from the point of view of a ghost, am I right? If so, why would a ghost be scared of something? I mean, of darkness and shadows and all that.

I read what you said about keeping the third line line as is, so I'm not going to be commenting on that.
The exact same goes for the fourth line, but I HAVE to say that its just too abstract. "Not the facing kind"?? I think, frankly speaking, you shouldn't have added that line. It's just too weird, and doesn't go with the flow, if you get what I mean.

"There's hatred in my head
and anger in my heart " nope, stop. Firstly, most of the time it's the other way around. Hatred is usually described as being of the heart. And anger is what makes your head swell, technically speaking, of course. And even if you change it, I don't really see the difference. The overall meaning remains pure and doesn't particularly change, now, does it? This may seem small, but it casts a slight pall on the poem.
"On this chase I was lead" "Led", not "lead". Even so, led by whom? I think you should have expressed that little bit more clearly.

The last two lines rhyme with each other immediately. That isn't the case in the rest of the poem, so don't change something like that so abruptly. It isn't proper.
The last line - there should be a space between the "-" and the other letters, right?
By the way, I love the last two lines. SO dramatic! I love vengeance.
Overall, I rather liked the poem, but you need to fine-tune it.
Bye!

I have felt that way many times. Then I think of prison which is a huge problem and death which is a disagreeable concept and the falling into a murderer category which is degrading and I refrain. As for the poem, I can't say that it doesn't express what it intended-murderous hatred. As for emotional reaction from me as a reader, well, I feel concern for the writer's mental stability. Fear that he might carry this out. Feel as if he's being led by demonic forces towards his own ruin. Feel like advising him to forgive and let the hatred go. So if that's the reaction that the poem was intended to elicit, it succeeded in my case.

I think this is a great piece! I love the name you gave it because it caught my attention immediately and it's unique. If I can anything I don't like it would be the phrases "Darkness every place" and "Not the facing kind". I feel like it would flow better if it said "Darkness in every place". "Not the facing kind" that just confused me but I get why it's there. Overall I really liked reading it. The end took me by surprise.