z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Dreaded Dinner Party Chapter 2

by Dest


Chapter Two

Curi did in fact dream last night though it seemed mostly incomprehensible, and she couldn't remember any important details. She felt there were a conga line and 70's dance within it somewhere. So much for looking inside her dreams for direction.

When she woke up, she, still in her pajamas, went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. The dishes from the night before were gone, so someone had cleaned them. What made her roll her eyes, though were the items in front of her. Spread out neatly on the dinner table she saw a stack of unwritten white envelopes and a package of generic blue pens next to it.

One of the necessary party planning rituals was the writing and the mailing of invitations. It seemed her family was keen on pushing the work off on her. They had done it before usually when they were too busy to do it themselves. Her mom was sleeping, dad was working, and brother was purposefully acting as if he hadn't noticed the cards. He wasn't blind, he could see the invitations just as well as she. Curi planned on ignoring the unwanted work too until her mom would tell her to fill them out like she did every year.

She opened the refrigerator, looking for means to make a hot breakfast. Scrambled eggs with anything were always good for her. Sidetracked for the moment, she wondered: if something were to happen to those invitations, would the upcoming Andrews' party be canceled? At most, only the guests that were invited by word of mouth would attend.

“Hey, Mom who did you tell about the party?” Curi yelled from the kitchen. The only sounds apart from her voice were Taveo crunching cereal and a clock ticking.

A muffled snore was the only response.

“MOM! Who is invited to the party?” She yelled louder.

Curi had to keep prodding her mom but eventually received a hoarse answer.

“Jeffersons...Belonys... Kisaragis...Carmichaels...Hender-”

“Alright, thanks!”

She sat at the table and mumbled greetings to her brother. Mushy eggs with just the right amount of salt and pepper traveled down to her stomach. It would be a good idea to purposefully write the wrong address on the cards. Someone else could house the Andrews party circus. Her ever perceptive mom would probably find out before she had the chance to do it, though.

Curi hummed a little tune while disposing of her plate. She had just turned to leave when she heard her mom's still grizzly voice.

“We're going to the post office! Bring your school books!”

----

Toting a small backpack, Curi followed her mother closely across the street until the federal building came into view. Because it was mid-morning, traffic wasn't thick, but the sidewalks were full. She liked city-life and watching people go to their individual destinations.

“Ooh, I hope the line ain't long today,” Mom whispered, in her light southern drawl.

“Yeah but, there's probably only three people working the registers,” Curi joked while fumbling to carry her box of invitations. Taveo trailed behind them at a leisure pace with his own box. Curi assumed he most likely thought he was too cool to be seen with them.

“Still, it is not as bad as the DMV,” her mom commented, shuddering.

Inside the cold post office, the dreary atmosphere lit up with colorful cards and stamps. Without the cards and stamps, the grayness would have sucked the color out of everything. She made note that the line wasn't too long but that only two cashiers were present, which was even less than she had expected. Two neat rows of people and packages formed an L-shape to the postal counter.

“Anyway, I need to get this mailed today! Can you believe I had some people tell me they wanna come?” her mom said, filing her nails while she held her own box of invitations tucked under her non-dominant arm. An older man in front of them twitched his nose and sneezed.

“Couldn't you have just told them in person?” Curi griped, “This box is really straining my arm by the way.”She knew she sounded a bit whiny, but she felt annoyed that the party would definitely take place. Those invitations only ensured the upcoming dinner.

Mom sighed. “Aucuria, I do stuff right. I don't mess around with it.” She pointed her filer at her daughter's nose.

Curi had to smile ruefully at her mother for that. She couldn't remember a time her mother had ever procrastinated when it came to parties. Mom’s word was bond concerning those.

“Hey, Mom-”

The man who had sneezed earlier suddenly spun around interrupting their conversation.

“You know I don't know how these people think this entire city can mail their packages with only two workers here?” He was a burly man with pale skin the texture of a crinkled paper. He had the most ridiculous-beaver tail looking white beard. His overall stature made Curi wonder if he had been a lumberjack in his youth.

Her mom's laugh resembled a pig squeal. She had put her nail filer down to hold eye contact with the old man. Curi groaned inside her mind. “I know I didn't go to the downtown building for that very reason. I knew at least someone would be working here and not in the break room. I swear whenever there's a line everyone's in the back.”

“Pfft, pretty soon they are going to have to put animals to work. My kitten could check us out faster than those bozos, and Mitzy had one of his paws broken.”

“Ehehehe!” Curi's mom now sounded like a hyena choking on its own spit. “Poor kitty but I think he'd managed better than them.”

Curi felt a line crease into her forehead. She loved her mom, but the lady had a tendency to talk too much. She hissed at Taveo for his attention.

“Bro, it never fails. No matter where we go someone always strikes up a conversation with mom, or she butts her way into one. I am firm believer Mom talks too much, but do you think I just care too much?” Curi asked him. Taveo barely acknowledged her but at least gave a nod.

“Well, that's how Mom is and has been for the last... Wait how old are you again?” He squinted at her.

Ignoring his question, Curi continued, “Why is she telling him about Dad's job now? He doesn't care or need to know that! Way too much info!”

Taveo rubbed his chin in a contemplative mood.

“I hope she realizes she's still married.”

“Hush, Taveo that guy's like sixty! Ain't nobody trying to hop onto that retirement check. Anyway, were you even listening? I wish Mom wouldn't talk so much and-”

Her brother stared at her blankly.

“You're bored, aren't you? You brought your school books, right?”

“Taveo! I'm not bored it's just...Ugh!” Curi stopped. Her words felt as muddled as her feelings, and her dense brother wasn't helping. He changed the subject and began talking about a band they both liked.

“How's a reggae group going to diss a rock and roll band that has never even talked to them?” Curi asked.

“Hey, anything for publicity, kid,” Taveo said, giving an affectionate poke to her cheek. Curi playfully pushed his shoulder.

“Hey babies, the line's moving.” Their mom had finally pulled away from her conversation with the man.

In her peripheral view, Curi saw a flash of movement. A dark-skinned woman with tightly coiled hair burst into the building, panting. She moved directly in front of them.

Her mom's eyes narrowed. Not only was Mom a motor mouth, but her words could be venomous as well.

“Mom, do not!” Curi begged quietly and pulled her mother's sleeve to emphasize her point, “Don't go off on her.”

The woman noticed the exchange and faced them with an apologetic expression.

“Oh, I am sorry ma'am I hope it doesn't look like I skipped you, but I had my friend hold my place because I had to pee so badly. He could have told me he was going to bolt.” She had a light accent that appeared at random words, but Curi couldn't place where from. “I ran all the way here from campus just to find out I left my package, and now my friend's disappeared completely leaving my place. You can imagine how disappointed I was to go back to get my package and come here and now my friend is gone and...” The young woman wheezed, still exhausted from her sprint.

Kindness stirred in Mom's eyes. “Hey, believe me, I know how hectic life can get. College student?”

“Ha!” This woman's laugh was beautiful and melodic like a song, as opposed to her mother's shrill laugh.“No, I work on campus as admission staff, but I graduated a few years ago. I have done a little this and that. I have studied abroad, interned, interviewed, bla blah.” Her small smile extended a bit.

“I certainly wouldn't have put you pass twenties. I came here with my son and daughter to mail some invitations for an upcoming party my husband and I am throwing. My daughter told me coming in something like 'gosh, mom this place is terribly slow.' And, I told her, baby it ain't as bad as the DMV.” Mom said with a smile.

“I know! I had to get my driver's license renewed last week, and I thought that time had stopped! They were so slow! I almost did a matrix move when they called my number to the counter.” The woman bent in slow motion as a visual effect, which made Curi almost snicker.

“Yeah, I was just talking to Jeffrey,” Mom gestured to the old, bearded man, “About how they need to hire extra help.” Jeffrey politely tipped his hat towards them, when he left to ship his item.

Jeffrey? Since when was her mom on a first name basis with that old guy? Curi was ready to tune the rest of the not exciting conversation out when the woman's number was called. The friendly woman sent a wave their way and picked up her package to mail.

It didn't take her long to ship whatever she had sealed away in a box, and Curi and her family were soon called next.

On the way out of the building, their paths crossed with the ambitious woman again. She had her car door open about to get inside.

“What's your name by the way? Are you new to the city? Know anyone?” Mom asked. From her purse, she pulled out an unmarked invitation to the dinner party.

The woman shut her car door. “I am Victorine-Ophelia, but most call me Ophelia or Ophie. I have been here a few years, but I am always ready to meet new people. I still haven't seen all this city has to offer.”

“Nice to meet you, Ophelia, I am Essence! Hopefully, you can come to this party and do a little networking.”

Ophelia hesitated before nodding her head, but slowly took the invitation into her hand. She grazed the front of the card before tucking it into her purse.

“I will come check it out!” Ophelia waved.

“Mom, that woman seemed cool and all, but why did you just invite her out of the blue? She didn't seem that enthusiastic about the invite, and I think her face fell at the mention of it. Besides, I wouldn't go to some party some random lady invited me to,” Curi said, once Ophelia was out of hearing distance.

“What's wrong with that? I invited Jeffrey that old man too. You heard me, honey, networking is key, that's half the reason people go to parties to meet people. This is why I always encourage you to go to professional parties.”

Curi crossed her arms. “I hate parties and I don't like people.”

Her mom rolled her eyes then kissed her cheek. “Curi, are you not a people?”

“No, Mom I am a person.”

“Wait, wait Mom did you just say she was a “people?” Taveo chimed in, laughing.

“What am I going to do with you two?” Their mom sighed dramatically as they walked to their car.

-----

“Let's grab some early lunch! Where should we go to?” Mom asked.

“Anywhere with french fries,” Curi called from the backseat. The car ride home had been postponed by some intense stomach growling. To be honest, most of the sounds of warfare were from her.

“So, burgers it is?”

“Nah, let's slow down on the red meat,” Taveo drawled slowly. He sat on the passenger side, distracted by his phone.

“Since, when are you health-conscious?” Curi pouted. Her cheeks puffed out made her seem more childlike than usual.

“Pfft, since I decided I wanted to live past seventeen,” he told her plainly.

“Tacos!”

“Huh Mom,” they both asked, surprised by the shout.

“Tacos are what we should have for lunch, beef for Curi and chicken for you, Taveo. Mom's eye shined and her mouth stretched into a wide grin. She seemed so excited to have a solution.

Curi's eyes met her brother's, and they both silently agreed. Food was food and tacos were delicious.

 ----

This is chapter two of a story I wrote almost two years ago. I am posting each chapter now to get an idea what to edit for. Thanks for any reviews/critiques and comments!


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Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:59 pm
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ExOmelas wrote a review...



Hey again,

Nit-picks:

Curi did in fact dream last night

"last" is a bit weird since it's in third person. It should probably be "that".

What made her roll her eyes, though were the items in front of her.

I'd put the comma on the other side of "though".

like she did every year.

Wait year? I thought this was basically a weekly occurrence.

Taveo trailed behind them at a leisure pace with his own box

"leisurely"

the dreary atmosphere was lit up with colorful cards and stamps


I certainly wouldn't have put you pass twenties

"past"

upcoming party my husband and I am throwing

"are"

Overall:

Character: Yaaaaay I finally got Curi+parent interaction! Essence is as comic as her name would suggest and I'm really starting to get into the humour of this. There's nothing you really need to change here but I think it would be amusing if Essence didn't just disagree with Curi about inviting the strangers to the party, but was actively surprised about what Curi thought. Like, "Well, why wouldn't I invite her? She seemed lovely!"

Setting: You do a good job here of making me feel like I am in a boring place xD

Plot: I'm a bit confused. Is this the same party as the one Cooleo's coming to? Why isn't she thinking about Cooleo at all? He seemed pretty important in the last chapter. I'm confused as to why it's just completely moved on from that.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




Dest says...


Thanks! Yes, it's the same party Cooleo's attending. He actually won't reappear for a few chapters, but he was the catalyst to explain the dinner party setting



ExOmelas says...


Ah, ok. I look forward to seeing where the different threads of story go. Also, thanks for liking my review - that reminded me I keep forgetting to like these chapters xD (I keep meaning to while I'm reading but then forgetting to do it)



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skylnn00writes wrote a review...



Hey! Sky here, again, for yet another review. Wow... it's been a while. Let's get to it.

She felt there were a conga line and 70's dance within it somewhere.

Was, not were.

When she woke up, she, still in her pajamas, went to the kitchen to eat breakfast.

I would reword this. Maybe say "When she woke up, she made her way to the kitchen to eat breakfast, still wearing her pajamas."

What made her roll her eyes, though were the items in front of her.


“Ooh, I hope the line ain't long today,” Mom whispered, in her light southern drawl.

While there is nothing wrong with this, I wanted to point this out. I realized while reading this that Curi also has a slight southern accent. I want to advise you to make that more clear and put it in a little more. Maybe pick certain words that she says that always show her accent. Basically, even though it is slight, show that she has an accent more.

Inside the cold post office, the dreary atmosphere lit up with colorful cards and stamps. Without the cards and stamps, the grayness would have sucked the color out of everything.

Repetitive.

“Aucuria, I do stuff right. I don't mess around with it.”

I wouldn't use the word stuff here. I'd say things. I know they are just about the same but it just makes more sense to me.

Mom’s word was bond concerning those.

I feel like you mean bound.

“You know, I don't know how these people think this entire city can mail their packages with only two workers here?”

I wouldn't use a question mark there. Also, add that comma.

I am firm a believer Mom talks too much, but do you think I just care too much?”


Taveo rubbed his chin in a contemplative mood.

I don't think mood is a good word. I think expression would fit better or something more like that.

“How's a reggae group going to diss a rock and roll band that has never even talked to them?”

Dis, not diss.

She had a light accent that appeared at random words, but Curi couldn't place where from.

I would reword this to say, "She had a light accent that appeared randomly, but Curi couldn't place where it was from."

“I ran all the way here from campus just to find out I left my package, and now my friend's disappeared completely leaving my place. You can imagine how disappointed I was to go back to get my package and come here and now my friend is gone and...”

This is extremely repetitive. You said the same exact thing in two different sentences with a different order and slightly different words.

I have studied abroad, interned, interviewed, blah blah.”

You forgot the h.

Her cheeks puffed out made her seem more childlike than usual.

I would either write "Her cheeks puffed out and made her seem more childlike than usual" or "When her cheeks puffed out, it made her seem more childlike than usual." Something along those lines.

“Huh, Mom?” they both asked, surprised by the shout.


One overall thing, there were two spacing issues in the beginning that can easily be fixed with a small edit. There are some grammar issues here as well but that can also be easily fixed.

Taveo, we don't know much about him. He seems like a typical teenage boy and I like the fact that he is appearing more, but what is his significance in the story? Why put in that Curi has a brother? Just think about those questions and hopefully they will be answered in later chapters.

I don't have much else to say. Sorry it took this long to get to the next chapter. I hope it doesn't take as long for the next. I'm really liking this story. The only other thing I'm going to say is it gets a bit repetitive with the plot because it is all about the same dinner party every year. I do like how some of the characters change but what happens with the rest of the year I wonder?

I hope my review is helpful and happy editing :smt001

~Sky




Dest says...


Thank you for the review! I will try to make a lot of changes and take out the repetitiveness. Oh, "word is bond" is slang.



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Carlito wrote a review...



Hello again! :D I'm going to jump right in.

Spread out neatly on the dinner table she saw a stack of unwritten white envelopes and a package of generic blue pens next to it.

I think you could cut or at least condense everything up until this point. Up until now it doesn't feel important or consequential other than setting the scene, but you don't need that. Bring us right into where things get interesting.

It seemed her family was keen on pushing the work off on her.

Why does it seem this way? Couldn't the supplies be put out so mom or dad will remember to work on it later? Have they ever pushed work on her like this before? How often (i so)?

and brother was purposefully acting as if he hadn't noticed the cards.

How so? How does she know?

Curi planned on ignoring the unwanted work too until her mom told her to fill them out like she did every year.

I thought the ending of this sentence sounded a little confusing because it almost sounds like her mom comes in at that second and tells her to fill the cards out.

It would be a good idea to purposefully write the wrong address on the cards. Someone else could house the Andrews party circus.

I liked her thought a little earlier about if something happens to the cards, what would happen. I would like more of her thought process from that to deciding to write the wrong address on the cards. Where does that idea come from and what potential problems or repercussions does she foresee? If any?

Also, she was never in danger of not seeing a building or restaurant somewhere.

This sentence read a little awkward to me and I'm not convinced it's significant enough of a detail to need it.

He most likely thought he was too cool to be seen with them.

This is Curi's assumption yes? I would make that more clear - "Curi guessed/assumed he thought he was..."

Inside the cold post office, the dreary atmosphere lit up with colorful cards and stamps. Without the cards and stamps, the grayness would have sucked the color out of everything. Why the employees felt the need to have three ceiling fans at full power in the cool of the morning, was beyond Curi. She made note that the line wasn't too long but that only two cashiers were present, which was even less than she had expected. Two neat rows of people and packages formed an L-shape to the postal counter.

I think this paragraph could use some tweaking. It sounds a little repetitive and then it feels like ten different things are happening at once because you describe lots of different things.

A couple of larger picture things I'm noticing:
1. The dialogue feels a bit one-dimensional to me. Dialogue is super, super hard to do well and it takes a lot of practice. Peruse the knowledge base articles about dialogue and see if any of those are helpful to you. My biggest piece of advice about dialogue and writing authentic-sounding dialogue is to simply listen to people talking. Sounds weird and obvious, but don't just listen to the words people use, but pay attention to how they talk. How do they get their message across? What kinds of mannerisms or crutches do they use? How do people respond and react to one another? How does body language play in? That kind of thing.

2. I'm still struggling to find the big picture plot. I know Curi doesn't like her mom's dinner parties and wants to try to sabotage the next party, but that's all. I mentioned this before, but what is her motivation other than she doesn't like them? Why doesn't she like them? (Other than they're boring and the people are annoying). Why does her mom insist on them? Where does she see her plan leading? Does she really think she's going to change something? What else does she want? What other plot elements are going to be included in the story to make it feel more dimensional.

3. Along with that, Curi also feels a little one-dimensional to me at this point. I'm not sure what all of her motivations and intentions are and I want to know more about her. I think I mentioned this in the last review too.

I think you have a fun story here and an interesting story here with plenty of room to grow and develop it, which is fun! I'm guessing this is your first draft and now that you've gotten it out you can think more about what kind of story you're really trying to tell and what you specifically want to do with the story. Enjoy the process and keep working on it! And please let me know if you have any questions or if you want feedback about something I didn't mention! :D




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Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:36 pm
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shima wrote a review...



Well, since I wrote a review on the first chapter it would be my duty to review the other two chapters as well.

This one was even better than the last one. That came mostly because you have stopped throwing stuff at us and have taking time to establish mood, setting and character.

That is good.

We learn to know more of the characters, the way they behave and act. That is, IMHO, what makes a story and sofar you have done a pretty good job in doing said thing. I really like the main character, Curi, since she feels pretty familiar to me. Thought that the part about the dreams was damn hilarious, because I know several people who look for answers in their dreams. Rarely works out, btw.

The story has calmed down, the pacing is better, which is a good thing. Slowly and steadily you build up this world. You use descriptions (not a lot,but still) which is GREAT improvement from last time, where there almost no descriptions to begin with.
The situation starts to feel more and more familiar with each passing moment and if a person can relate to a certain situation in a book it is always a good thing.

The addition of an extra character could cause a problem in later chapters, since it takes a lot of skill and effort to juggle multiple characters without any of them feeling underdeveloped or flat. Hopefully you can manage that, with all the people you are throwing at us from the page.

Some of the parts were funny, for me atleast. Like the moment when the mother makes the joke about how she is "people", not a person. Thought that was great, but I can understand if someone would think the joke is stupid. I just adore pun-jokes and word humor, no matter what the level of said humor is.

Once again, no grammatical errors or such.

Shima, over and out.




Dest says...


I know I've introduced a ton of characters but only three are meant to be main characters. Everyone else is supposed to be recurring or background characters. I probably need to do a better job of executing that



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Dracula wrote a review...



Hello, Dest, and Happy almost-over Review Day!!

Curi did in fact dream last night though it seemed mostly incomprehensible, and she couldn't remember any important details. She felt there were a conga line and 70's dance within it somewhere. So much for looking inside her dreams for direction.
At the end of chapter one she talks about dreaming, right? If yes, awesome! If not, maybe get rid of this part. Say she woke up with incomprehensible dreams, maybe, but don't go into so much detail if it doesn't add to the plot or characterisation.

One of the necessary party planning rituals was mailing of invitations.
This should say 'was THE mailing of invitations'.

“Ha ha ha!” Her mother's laugh resembled a pig squeal.
You don't need to put the 'haha'. Just having the description of her laugh is perfectly fine.

“Pfft, pretty soon they are going to have to put animals to work. My kitten could check us out faster than those bozos, and Mitzy had one of his paws broken.”
Your characters' voices are what really stoof out to me in this chapter. They are eac so unique and full of personality. Especially that random old guy!

Kindness stirred in Mom's eyes. “Hey, believe me, I know how hectic life can get. College student?”
This bit of description was also impressive.

[b]Her mother rolled her eyes then kissed her cheek. “Curi, are you not a people?”
“No, mom I am a person.”[/b[
Love it! Curi comes across as a very sarcastic girl, I have to say. :p

It's really only the first half I found nitpicks, the second half (which was mostly dialogue) had a really good pace and the plot was interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Image




Dest says...


Hiya! Thank you for the review. It's always appreciated. I will make the changes you mentioned.



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rosette wrote a review...



Hello Dest!
I am back again! (wait. did you just groan?) :P (kidding, kidding)
Alright, so another chapter of the Dreaded Dinner Party is in session and I am here to review.

I must say: I am super impressed with your spelling skills. I did not catch on to one single error! Bravo! Bravo! But. As for the sentence wording, punctuation and such...I noticed a few things..

Run-On Sentences:

“Bro, it never fails no matter where we go someone always strikes up a conversation with mom, or she butts her way into one.

I noticed a few sentences such as this one where you run on... and on... without any punctuation to help read it better. For example, after fails I'd suggest putting a period and starting a new sentence: "No matter where we go, someone always..."
Do you see?
Sidetracked for the moment, she wondered if something were to happen to those invitations would the upcoming Andrews' party be canceled.

Here is another dreaded run-on sentence. Could you maybe show clearly what she thought, instead of smashing it all together? Here's how I would see it: "Sidetracked for the moment, she wondered: if something were to happen to those invitations, would the upcoming Andrews' party be canceled?" Not like you MUST and only MUST use that example but something along those lines...?
“Tacos are what we should have for lunch, beef for Curi and chicken tacos for you, Taveo.

My Biased & Opinionated Suggestion you don't have to listen to: Perhaps... "Tacos are what we should have for lunch. Beef for Curi and chicken for you, Taveo." I don't really see the need for the word tacos again. I thought this statement was a little tacoed out...

[b] Awkward Wording or Whatever They Call It
A dark skin woman with tightly coiled hair burst into the building, panting.

A dark skin woman or a dark-skinned woman? (I know that wasn't severe but it caught my eye).
Curi met eyes with her brother, and they both agreed.

Again, not - WAIT, WHAT? but a little well, different. I don't know if you intended to put this or not but I could see the wording switched up a bit. Like, "Curi's eyes met her brother's.."?
But hey, whatever works best for you! :)
Her mother slept, father worked, and brother acted as if he hadn't noticed the cards.

I don't know if its just me but reading this, the wording almost makes it seem as if her mother slept to ignore the cards, her father worked to ignore the cards and then her brother acts as if he hasn't noticed them. So. I'd like to see this better structured in case anyone develops a huge question mark over their heads about it. Maybe... " While her mother slept and father worked, her brother acted...etc., etc." (But please, don't use that because it was terrible.) Do you see my point?

Now, as for the names I found them very interesting. Curi = Aucuria, then her mother's name is Essence. And Victoria-Ophelia? So sophisticated, though! And, it is the modern world, right? (Fine! So Jeffrey was normal). :P

It honestly was just a few things such as this that caught my eye but like I said before, the story does seem to be dragging on a littllee...looongg...

Goodness, I was not expecting my review to drag out like this. What has happened to me?!
Anyway, have a great day, Dest, and may all your Dinner Parties be a success.
Sincerely,
That SuperChickyKid
:)




Dest says...


Hey! There are never any groans for you!
Huge thanks for reviewing again! I tend to take a long time to get to the good stuff, so there's a lot storywise I need to cut/edit from this chapter. I'm going to hack away at some of the unimportant post office dialogue It's hard to introduce characters without dragging the reader along D: SN: I love unique names




Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato--is this potato named Steve?
— Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer