Why I Want to Go to Japan

I can see why you'd want to visit. Hope you get to go at some point. It's a nice explanation of your feelings and desires. I've never been to a foreign country and man, I think it'd be cool to go.

Nothing wrong with this that isn't covered so far, so that's pretty much all I can say. Glad to see someone with a goal they're working towards. Good luck!

I too have always wanted to visit Japan, and probably will one day. So when I read the title I was all, "Gotta help." Though I have no real experience with applications. But I do have a gift for pushing all the right buttons when I need something done in my favor. Dunno if that would be of any help here.

First of all, no real grammatical errors, none that I could see anyway.

Secondly, I think you need to give the reason a bit of personal touch. Expanding horizons is nice, but generic. My Little Pony was a good attempt (I have no real idea what that is, but guessing it's a cartoon). But if you're going to talk animation, talk Miyazaki. Talk about Kyoto, the cultural capital. How it burned.

I personally am fascinated by the shinkansen, the popular religion and it's spread. How Japan battles forces of nature and continues with life undaunted. What has always impressed me about the Japanese people is that they rose to the heights of economic supremacy decades after the catastrophic end of WW2.

You have added that you may seek a career in Japan. Elaborate on it. Just a tiny bit. Even if you're just specifying what it is you are planing to pursue in Japan. It might highlight your knowledge about the Japanese economy, way of life. Which might really help your case.

This is all I can really think of. I hope this has been a little helpful.

This is pretty straightforward, the intention is clearly stated, though I'll be honest, it isn't eye-catching to me. I'm not the executive whose going to sieve through drafts for the exchange program, but if I was, I admittedly wouldn't be impressed by this for a number of reasons. A lot of them are really specific and might actually be wrong, so instead I'll give you the rundown of things that might help the work (at the very least I can't imagine it hurting anything, though it's up to you to decide).

So without further ado,

Why do you want to participate in this exchange?

If you asked me, your reason for participating in this exchange would be that you'll eventually learn something. Sounds simple, right? And it's pretty clearly stated, there's no hidden subtext anywhere here that the readers have to go looking for. So on the 'Is it clear?' stance, you're off the hook.

On the 'Is it interesting?' stance? Hold your horses.

I have no real problem with the message, let's get that out of the way first. What I have a problem with is the delivery, because I'll be honest, the delivery was pretty dull. One, I can apply it to any other country, and it would work just as well. There's nothing specifically restraining this to Japan, there's nothing separating Japan from any other country to go to, and that's what makes it sound exceptionally bland. Note: when you're asked the question "Why do you want to go to *a country*?", there's also another question hidden underneath, "Why this country specifically?" .

It seems like you have a good grasp of what you're talking about, so it'd be nice to hear some examples. Interesting Japanese traditions, cultural landmarks, historical references, something that would suggest you've already done your research and you're now really prepared to actually look at it in real life. What I'm reading currently sort of flows like your average, obviously interested student, but not the eager enough kind of student whose as immersed in Japanese culture as they say they are.

You answered a question in the review below me that had more interesting details in there, which also shows your experience--a good idea, overall. This is just a suggestion, but throwing in some more examples of the cultural differences you've come across with other exchange students is also a good idea (assuming you aren't watching your wordcount). That would easily seep into your second question,

What is your expectation for this exchange?

This one is a bit blurry, as it sort of blends into the first one a little too much. The answer to this question also seems to be "That I'll learn something," which is fine, but it isn't preferable. Again, it's better if you get into the specifics of what you might learn, asking a clear question that's hanging in the air (you did this well with the American vs Japanese home life question, though I wish you brought up more things other than that, like Japanese efficiency or how they face things or the revolutionary technology they're famous for), and also giving hypotheses as to what the answers might be (using, again, some more examples and a bit of your own opinion).

The exchange student remark below can also answer this question, as I think "What do you think you might face?" is the core of what it's trying to ask. If you've learnt any cultural cues from your friends, do you think it'll be brought up to an extreme in Japan? Do you think the people there will represent what your friends showed you? Or do you think it'll be more of a variety? Will there be specific conflicts between your culture and the Japanese culture that you must overcome, and how will you learn from those conflicts? This is a personal opinion, but I prefer it if an essay is critical to the subject its promoting, because it suggests that the author is smarter than just selling whatever its saying. I like it when an essay goes "X has its problems" and still justifies why X is necessary or X is a good thing, I'm more convinced because the author has showed me that he's being true to the narrative by being slightly gray. At the very least, if you're not willing to call out Japanese culture (understandable, you are trying to live there for a little while), frame it into a "How will I face this situation?" sort of thing. Again, just a suggestion, you're free to disregard it if you like.

With that finally being said, I go to my final round,

Just Some Nitpicks

I've enjoyed researching and learning new things about this foreign country and it's culture, but I feel it is time to put that book knowledge to the test and experience it all first hand.

I can daydream all I like about what my exchange experience will be like, but I know that in the end it will be better than any of those imaginings.

Every time I have hosted a student they have been full of excitement and curiosity that only grew as their stay continued, even when we hit rough patches of homesickness and other obstacles.

Hello! Feather here to review!

I didn't catch any grammatical/punctuational errors, which is great! I liked the structure and the word use- it didn't get repetitive like it sometimes can like if I say 'it' one more time. The one thing I would say is that though you say you enjoy learning about Japan, you need to throw some more proof in there. I did an application essay much like this one for an ornithology conference and it started out in much the same way. However, making a paragraph of 'I did x,y,z and a,b,c' makes a big difference, I think. It really proves your point.

Other than that, nice job! Keep writing- and good luck with your application!

-Featherstone