Young Writers Society

Hey there! This poem was bookmarked awhile ago, and I apologize for putting off a review. I honestly have so many writing works that I want to review and give feedback on and give satisfactory comments to the writers.

Your 20-line, 38-word poem certainly is extraordinary. I hope this review does not get to be too long, because who really has the time for or wants to read a long, genuine review of a teenage girl at this hour? XD I shall spare you from the trouble.

Now, I'm a band kid. 4th Chair Symphonic Band Flutist, sophomore, to be exact. My second Marching Band Camp is coming up in late July so I have yet to experience the whole shebang all over again!! And must I say, I am quite excited. Last year, I had a crush on the senior gay drum major. This year, I'm close friends with one of them and just acquaintances with the other. It's going to be really exciting.

Now, how does that relate to this poem?

Well almost all of that came to mind when I read this again. Drum majors are supposed to keep time, manage a large group of peers, be in control, and satisfy their conductors. Though this work is short, I think you graze over the lines of what I just said in a simpler fashion.

I love music, and love seeing drum majors conduct and lead.

Thank you for posting this poem! I really have no negatives, though I briefly skimmed through any reviews underneath. Have an amazing day!

~ Em

Hello there, Gema11!

This is Moonwatcher here with a review.

Jumping into the review, the format is killing me. This short poem appears to be longer than it is because of it, and it also makes the poem very choppy. There's a large chance that yes, this format was intentional, but I feel as if the choppiness that came along with it was not. Fixing up some of the format could be a large relief to the reader's eyes.

As Colorofthesky mentioned previously, this poem is short and lacks much depth, and I certainly agree that you can have a simple poem while still giving your emotions into it. It's hard for the reader to find your voice in this poem, which is an issue among several short, simplistic poems such as this. But it isn't too hard. The short, simple poem you have written may have been short and simple on purpose, but you aren't obligated to stick to it. If adding your emotions gets in the way of you writing a short and simple poem, then so be it. You don't have to stick to that. Just add your emotions and feelings. Make the poem yours.

With such little content this poem has to offer, there isn't much else I can give you. The poem is decent, but lacks originality and emotion. Remember, make the poem yours. I hope this review helps! ^-^

Hey there! It's Sky here on this lovely evening! I haven't reviewed in a while, but here goes.
This poem is quite short and lacks much depth, but it has potential. You have the idea in your mind and in your description. All you have to do now is find your voice and develop your style. To start revising, I would suggest going over your punctuation. There could be some more in thoughtful places to add emphasis. For example

I want
what I cannot
have.
More than others can give,

this is a very truthful poem