z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Soul Mirror

by herbgirl


The morning sky is a soul mirror,
its burning clouds
are not reflections of the sun's glory,
but of the onetwothreefourfivesixseven billion
souls on fire below.
In that unnoticed time
between night and day
all the pain and discontent,
invisible at any other time,
is suddenly splashed across the sky,
for all to examine,
like a psychiatric patient examines an inkblot,
with confusion and hesitance.
And yet,
few are even awake
to witness the viciously beautiful flames that consume the sky.
They prefer to sleep in beds of ignorance
than to accept their unknown truth.
But I am awake.
I watch as the terrible force of unspoken fear
distorts the clouds above,
and I marvel at my insignificance,
and I pray a silent prayer that someday
my contentment will paint its own small picture across that angry sky,
a small smear of blue in the midst of orange,
a piece of hope in the midst of the mess we call life.

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Random avatar

Points: 54
Reviews: 13

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Wed Aug 31, 2016 4:35 pm
RachitBansal wrote a review...



I love this poem and the thoughts you painted.
I like the following very much :
'small smear of blue in the midst of orange,
a piece of hope in the midst of the mess we call life.'
And,
'to witness the viciously beautiful flames that consume the sky.
They prefer to sleep in beds of ignorance
than to accept their unknown truth.'

I like the way you combined one, two, thre....to show the big number! Wonderful!
You can improvise on the title, 'The soul mirror' is not perfect, maybe, 'Mirror to the soul'?
I love the images, and great work!

Keep writing!
Do check my works!




User avatar
16 Reviews

Points: 73
Reviews: 16

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Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:16 am
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ThePhantomPrince wrote a review...



Since this is poetry, I'm not even going to touch on grammar since I believe grammar gets in the way of what you're trying to say, so I'll move straight onto the content of the piece. It is as beautiful as it is complex. I hate to be the guy picking apart your work trying to find significance where there is none, but there are clearly two levels to this poem. The beginning is very, how to say, not lifeless, but it is centered on a thing, not a person. In the second half you use I. The switch between the two is not only seamless, it enhances the the entire piece.The picture you paint is incredible, but its not just the picture you paint its also your ability to keep that picture firmly embedded in the readers mind. The inkblot is a great image, but I don't see it in the traditional black, do to it following the fires in the sky. I see it as a drop of orange, in the night sky. Finally I love the line about painting blue across an orange sky.

I think it would be cool to see a follow up about the sky at dusk that mirrors this poem.





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