16+ Violence

Syfian - Prologue

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

PreviousNext

Prologue:

She found something instantly gratifying about decapitating her enemies.

The feeling of watching a head roll across the ground when that creature had been stabbing a blade towards her gut only moments before. The blood that sprayed across everything. Just knowing that she was the one who was strong enough to slice through sinew and bone with a battle dulled blade. All in one swing too, of course.

Except, her moment of triumph only lasted a mere second before she was spinning out of the way, biting back a cry as an axe scored a long gash down her arm.

Azalia stared down at the wound, slightly woozy as she watched thick globs of crimson trail across her skin, dripping from limp fingers.

“Li!” Thea shouted, spinning away from a sword meant for her throat, “Let’s go!”

Her too long blonde hair stuck to her lips and tongue as she turned towards the voice. Leaping forward, she landed practically on top of the dark elf who was attacking her vincace. She recovered enough to spit, her mouth making an obnoxious noise as she freed her hair. She was going to have to get it cut soon. Sprites.

Taglitum,” she cried as she ducked under the creature’s guard, swirling her ring finger in the air. She wrestled his weapon from his grip, kneeing him in the stomach until he faltered. Using his momentary misstep, she twisted into him, tapping her glowing finger against his throat.

Instantly, a slash appeared in the skin, spraying green goo right into her face. She sputtered and backed away, wincing as the Unseelie elf gave a gurgled scream.

“You are a mess, Li,” Alys, Thea’s other vincace grinned, “Your mother’s going to kill me for letting you ruin your new battle gear.”

“You didn’t let me ruin anything,” the girl retorted, “Feeling alright Thea?”

“Tired,” the brunette in the middle admitted, licking her thumb and rubbing at a drop of emerald blood on her wrist, “Didn’t think it was going to last this long.”

“With any luck, your father and the others will have taken out the main raiding party,” Alys slipped into stance, waiting for the next enemy to appear out of the fog that had slowly been overtaking the group since the start of the battle, “I hate rear guard.”

“Just a bit longer then,” Azalia yanked her second sais out of its sheath, “Shouldn’t be too many more.”

Her black walnut bark boots navigated the uneven earth of the clearing with ease, random clumps of grass doing their best to trip her up in the gloom. The hair on the back of her neck stood at attention as she scanned the area, the number of trees the creatures could hide behind suddenly jumping into focus.

They’re here, she felt, more than heard Thea warn her through their bond.

Ready? Li sent Alys’ way.

Alw- She got a flash of her friend’s grin before her words cut off, a cry that was distinctly her fellow vincace’s echoing up through the branches.

“Alys?!” she asked, spinning to see what was going on. Instead, she was greeted with a thick fluffy whiteness that seemed to form a barrier between her and her comrades, much too dense to be normal.

When had it gotten this bad? She’d seen her two partners just a moment ago-

“Azalia?” she heard Thea call, her voice small, “What happened? What’s going on?”

“Can’t you get rid of this?” she yelled back.

“I’m trying, I can’t seem to grasp hold of it, it’s like…” her words faded.

“Thea?”

There was a scream, a horrible sound that seemed to go on and on.

When it finally stopped, she could hear her friend sobbing.

“What is it, what’s going on?” Azalia stumbled forward blindly, trying to locate someone, anyone. Even a tree would do.

“I found her, I found Alys-”

Thea’s voice broke, followed by a sickening thud and then the connection between the three of them snapped like a piece of too taunt fishing line.

Her mind reeled, and she fell, her knees scraping against the hard root of a sycamore tree. Her weapons tumbled to her sides, their distinct clatter muffled. The air was so thick now that she could hardly breathe, every inhale almost more effort than it was worth.

“Hello?” she croaked, one hand digging into the soil to keep her steady, “Is anyone there?”

“Just me,” she heard someone whisper behind her.

Something connected with her head and her consciousness flooded black. 

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
intrastellars
Review

So I'm guessing that this series is going to be a high fantasy (elves!), which is totally up my alley. I highly enjoyed the beginning (I have a weak spot for fight scenes) and I find it pretty impressive how you made Azalia's actions flow so smoothly. May I give a word of advice? From someone who reads a lot of fantasy and has a particular fondness for that genre, I can confidently say that the tricky thing about writing fantasy is most definitely the world-building. Of course, this is simply the prologue, so I don't think you'd jump right into this world all at once. I can already tell that you may have considered this fantasy world with the use of new words (vincace) and I can't wait to see how you explain these elements in future chapters! All in all, great prologue. Keep up the good work!

User avatar
writerkitty
Review

Hello there HopelessAbandon!! :D

This is a truly amazing prolong! I was just scrolling down the greenroom to find something to review and this caught my eye right away! I was going to read one paragraph and read the rest later, but I was hooked into it right after I read the first sentence! :D

This is one action packed piece of work and your characters and dialogue are amazing! It all seemed so real! :O I don't know how you did it, but this suspenseful prolong connected me with the story and characters and made me feel the horror, pain, and excitement where it was necessary.

This is really well written and I didn't catch any grammatical or spelling errors. I really want to read more! I mean this is the prolong, and yet it was so amazing, and I enjoyed reading every word of it!
Please continue writing this! This is one fantasy novel that I want to grasp in my hands and read till the end! :D

Keep writing and have a good day!
writerkitty

User avatar
JennyImStory
Comment

1st: Wow. 2nd: WOWWW. I just love this! The fighting in the beginning was seamless, the dialogue the most natural thing I've ever heard, and that part near the end . . . I was quite literally worried about characters I'd just met. I wish I could accomplish that! This piece of writing is truly epic, and it had a tad bit of fun (before everybody died that is). I just enjoyed this so much!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D



Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.
— Carl Sandburg