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Cursed Gemini-Prologue

by parulpathak


Prologue

There she was. Lying on her back, staring towards the roof. Her vision started getting blurred which made her realize the presence of tears . With quivering lips she closed her eyes .Though there wasn’t much of a sound in the room apart from the squeaking fan, yet the felling of blood gushing out of her vein felt like a sound in itself. 

What have I done.. Was this the only way out of my misery?  She was beginning to doubt herself 

yes.. YES!! This WAS my only option. There is nothing left for me now.

Oh my God the pain.. I think I have gone a tad bit far.. this is wrong

But why does it feel so right? Why I couldn't control my self? Why did i cut myself?

She was fighting with her inner self to justify her action.

She got a hold of her scared feeling and looked at the open wound on her wrist. As she saw the pool of blood near her hand, her entire life flash forwarded in front of her eyes. Her family, her friends, her love, her mistakes.. 

And that day which changed the entire life.. 

The moment she became cursed..

The day she was raped..

Remembering that horrifying incident she closed her eyes and waited for the pain to end.. and her life too. 

But little did she knew this was one of her many failed suicide attempts.


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Tue Jun 15, 2021 6:56 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!

First Impression: Well, this was certainly a very intriguing prologue, starting things off on quite a painful and sad note there, and of course a very mysterious ending...well more details on this down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

There she was. Lying on her back, staring towards the roof. Her vision started getting blurred which made her realize the presence of tears . With quivering lips she closed her eyes .Though there wasn’t much of a sound in the room apart from the squeaking fan, yet the felling of blood gushing out of her vein felt like a sound in itself.


Well, that's not a great image to be starting on there...oh dear, lots of tears, lots of blood and just in general a lot of sad imagery that reminds me of death. It appears that we're starting things off on a rather terrible idea here, that's definitely not a great sign for this prologue being about anything happy. But it does certainly get your attention right away.

What have I done.. Was this the only way out of my misery? She was beginning to doubt herself

yes.. YES!! This WAS my only option. There is nothing left for me now.


Oh dear, well that sort of confirms my worst fears about what all the blood might be indicating, oh no, if we're starting off with one of those, well, this is set to be quite a dark story, oh dear, well let's see what comes next I suppose.

Oh my God the pain.. I think I have gone a tad bit far.. this is wrong

But why does it feel so right? Why I couldn't control my self? Why did i cut myself?


Oh yeah, we are definitely tangling around with those particular kind of thoughts. And well the way you depict her really fighting with herself about said thoughts is certainly a pretty intriguing detail here...you can see one part of her wants to actually do this but some part of her doesn't.

She was fighting with her inner self to justify her action.

She got a hold of her scared feeling and looked at the open wound on her wrist. As she saw the pool of blood near her hand, her entire life flash forwarded in front of her eyes. Her family, her friends, her love, her mistakes..


Well here comes the legendary flashing of the life before ones eyes, but ahh, well this is just confirming the worst isn't it...certainly is a very interesting note for a prologue to begin on, I wonder what all of this might end up meaning here for the story.

And that day which changed the entire life..

Remembering that horrifying incident she closed her eyes and waited for the pain to end.. and her life too.

But little did she knew this was one of her many failed suicide attempts.


Well, that doesn't look like a very pleasant series of events to experience in one's life at all, oh dear....well, its no wonder her emotional state got to be quite this bad....but...uhh, well that last line, makes things ten times more mysterious...it doesn't look like she was in a position to save herself so her surviving this means...ahh...well..that's the perfect kind of ending for a prologue to have.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a pretty solid looking prologue this one. Certainly does make you wanna read on, at least makes me wanna find out more. Aaand that's about all I've gotta say here for now. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun Nov 29, 2015 7:41 am
crobbins wrote a review...



Wow. This was a very powerful and emotional prologue. I can tell the main character has been through a lot. When the story is made, I would love to read it to see the backstory to her pain, and to see if she can cope with it in other ways than self harm or suicide. This can touch a lot of people, since many people (too many,) try to commit suicide.

Only two punctuation errors! Here they are:

"Her vision started getting blurred which made her realize the presence of tears ."
You should delete the space after tears so it reads:
"Her vision started getting blurred which made her realize the presence of tears."

"With quivering lips she closed her eyes ."
Again, delete the space after eyes so it reads:
"With quivering lips she closed her eyes."

I also found one sentence that I would reword if I was you:

"Though there wasn’t much of a sound in the room apart from the squeaking fan, yet the felling of blood gushing out of her vein felt like a sound in itself."
I would reword it to:
"Though there wasn’t much sound in the room apart from the squeaking fan, the falling of blood gushing out of her vein felt like a sound itself."

But overall, this is a good intro! I am looking forward to reading the story (if you make it!)
<3




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Sat Nov 21, 2015 3:40 pm
xv0nillaWriterx wrote a review...



I like your prologue and it was very interesting. One thing is add emotions and feelings to the story like how she feels. And what do you mean:"Remembering that horrifying incident she closed her eyes and waited for the pain to end.. and her life too." Please explain this and in the end it is catchy. "But little did she knew this was one of her many failed suicide attempts." And why a puddle of blood is near next to her? Is she suiciding herself? And why? I like your story and i know this is just a prologue and i want you to write more. Check out mine if you need help and HAPPY WRITING!!!



Random avatar
parulpathak says...


Thank you so much.
And yes i intend to write a whole novel-ish way to tell a story so to create the same arising question that you asked i intended to write the prologue this way.
Thank you so much for your comment and yes I'll be writing more of the story.





no problem




she slept with wolves without fear, for the wolves knew there was a lion among them.
— r.m. drake