An interesting start to the story.
I think the main feedback I have for your piece is to use more subtext and less direct, straightforward language. The main character's indifferent self-awareness is quite factual; if you want to make your world more realistic, you'd unfold the story naturally and offer descriptions that can lead readers to draw conclusions for themselves.
Instead of telling us the facts, like: "I started growing into this monster, but despite that I was smart and I cared very much for my family," you could try something more like: "I may have a different philosophy to others about life, but why is it that I'm the storybook *villain* and *monster* just because most others don't agree? My methods, you could say, are destructive- yes- but has anyone really stopped to think it over? I'm talking about the bigger picture here. I care for people, believe it or not- my family, specifically... so maybe don't go judging a book by its cover."
^ In this case, you're making the character more relatable, allowing readers to be more engaged with them, and want to root for your protagonist ! It's up to you, but this is just a suggestion.
Points: 137
Reviews: 7
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