Hi! Ok, rhythm and flow... So, rhythm I tend to equate to music, so if anything doesn't make sense there, just let me know. I tend to forget what is and isn't specialized terminology there, and where I'm crossing wires, so to speak, with how others would expect things to be said vs what I actually said.
Ok, in general, your rhythm is very basic, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm not sure it lends anything to your poem, especially since you asked me to look at that specifically. What you want to do with this, though, really depends on what kind of effect you want for your poem. If you want it to read smoother, I'd stick to a simpler structure, keep lines a bit more together - not necessarily long lines, but pick your line breaks with a bit more care, and really look at your word choices and where you sneak into internal rhymes and repeating words.
Just a side note as I think of it - I don't particularly care for starting any work on a phrase like "trees loom on" - I think there's a word for that type of sentence, but it's escaping me right now - but it doesn't accomplish enough, I think, especially for a first line. Plus, rhythmically it's not that interesting. Instead, look at combining that idea into your second line, doing something more with your lines, like... "i cannot climb the trees that.." and continue from there. It's a more definitive statement and sets your imagery up stronger than simply telling a reader that tree are big and looming overhead. Plus, that also sets up a bit more complex sentence structure which means you can do more interesting things rhythmically, too! The way I see it, poetry is still governed by basic grammatical rules; part of what the poet chooses is how to mess with those conventions as well as using them for greater effect.
That said! I like breaking between your two parts: the narrator's sister and the narrator, and the narrator's interpretation of each. In that case, the simplicity of "I am ground bound" works nicely, but I'd like to see it play off of something a bit more... twirly? Something - it creates a nice rhythmic break, but the problem is that it's too similar to what you have in the preceding stanzas as well. It can work really well, but you have to do a bit more set up and then your imagery is grounded in how your words sound as well as the image you're creating.
In terms of flow, it's one of those semi-made up things that poets talk about and I tend to equate it to how a poem reads (on the page and on the tongue), and the use of enjambment and line breaks to alter momentum. What you have so far is relatively basic, which by itself is fine. However, if this is a piece you want to work on, I'd recommend playing with your line breaks, not ending each line necessarily at a natural breaking point, and just rearranging words and phrases to see how they sound and look best - and it's not an exact process by any means. For example, you can take this piece:
My sister,
With her monkey feet and broad horizons,
Taking branches from far above her
And branches from far above her
And bending them to her will
And then play! Maybe try something like
My sister with her monkey feet and broad horizons
takes branches from far above her
[far above]
and bends them to her will
I played with verbs a bit, but otherwise tried not to change your words. Does this help?
Ok! Overall, you have some good bones to work with! Happy editing, and let me know if you have any questions!
Mesh
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