Young Writers Society

XXXI

Asenath reclined on the upper portico watching dusk fall. Pale pink lined the dry horizon, the pink faded up into bright orange, then faint yellow, light gray, and lastly a deep dark blue. Three points of starry light shone around the silvery half- moon. Egyptian geese near the river bank called “good night” to their mates in low pitched squawks.

It’s almost like the land is whole and everything is right once more.

She lifted her hand to feel the painful mark the slave’s collar had made on her neck.

But it’s not.

Without notice, Madu, Joseph’s favorite waiting servant, came onto the portico and bowed.

“Madu! You know you don’t have to bow to me. I’ve told you that before. Do you need something?”

“Lord Zaphenath-paneah wishes to speak to you in your room.”

Her heart sank.

Oh no.

“Very well.” She treaded back to her room down, oh so familiar halls.

Joseph had his back to her, facing a window towards the barren gardens where his brothers’ camels lounged.

“Did you want something?” she asked timidly.

He didn’t turn. “Don’t be coy. You know what this is about.”

“I do?”

He rolled his eyes. “Stop the act. I saw you tonight.”

“Oh. Well, I just…I wanted to be there.”

“How many times have I told you to stay out of it?!” he yelled as he whipped around to face her.

“Maybe if you included me in your decisions I wouldn’t have to find out myself!”

“Maybe I’d tell you if you weren’t always sneaking around!”

Asenath sighed, sat on the bed, and put her head in her hands. “If you would just say sorry, all this would be fixed.”

“Me?” Joseph exclaimed in disbelief. “You want me to say sorry? You are the one who needs to say sorry for rebelliously going behind my back!”

“You know what, Joseph. I am tired of fighting. Until you man up and admit that you are wrong, I am done talking to you.” She punctuated her exit by tossing her hair and forcefully slamming the door.

I showed him.

Then she felt a pinch of guilt.

I handled that badly.

She looked down the halls wondering where to go next.

I need to be alone for a while.

She went to the only place she could think of to get alone. Her tired arms pushed back the huge wooden doors to the worship room.

It’s been so long since I’ve been here with Joseph. Or just by myself.

The green candles were lit and their flickering flames created dancing shadows on the smooth black floor. She kneeled on the crimson rug and dug her fingers into its warmth.

Drifting apart from Joseph, drifting apart from Elohim. I used to understand them both. Now both are so far away.

She fixed her gaze on the white altar. “Elohim, I don’t know what to say…you feel so distant and I feel like I am drowning in confusion. I tried to fix it my way. Joseph is trying to it his way. I need you to fix everything. I…” She choked up, and tears began to fall.

“Asenath?” a someone said.

“Elohim?” she answered in disbelief.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just your brother Amnon,” he chuckled.

She turned to see him shut the door behind him. His raven black hair was graying at the roots, but she would not have thought of him as old. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to make sure the candles were still lit. Then I heard you crying.” He kneeled down beside her and placed his hands on hers. “What’s wrong, little sister?”

“Nothing.”

He gave her a look that said “no really.”

“And everything,” she sobbed.

He draped his arm around her and pulled her close, allowing her head to rest on his shoulders. “Tell me about it?”

“Every…everything is wrong. Joseph and I…he has become like a stranger that lives in my house. And Elohim, well, He is the same way. Always there, but always silent.”

“I understand.” After that, they sat in silence for a while.

“What should I do?” Asenath finally whispered.

“Do you want me to tell you what I think?”

“Yes, yes! You know so much more than I do.”

“At times like these, I have realized that we have to investigate. What is keeping you and Joseph and Elohim apart?”

“Joseph is stubborn. He won’t fix things with me!”

“Maybe he is. Maybe he isn’t. But you can’t change him. You can only change yourself.”

She stiffened at this remark. “I don’t need to change.”

“I know someone else that is quite stubborn,” Amnon smiled.

“You’re not helping.”

“Asenath, I love you. That is why I am reminding you that, as a woman, you are called to submit to and respect your husband. You doing that will push him to do the right thing more than stubbornness and anger. Maybe Elohim is trying to teach you something about humility.”

Who does he think he is? But maybe he’s right. No. Yes. I know what I should do. Why is it so hard to do it?

“Think about it, will you? And I’ll be praying for you and Joseph,” he said as he stood and left.

Asenath, swallow your pride and admit it. You’ve been foolish. Amnon’s right.

“Elohim, I have had such a wrong attitude about this whole thing. It’s not about me. If this is how Joseph is going to find peace with his brothers, I should stand with him as his wife. Forgive me?” The room was still silent, but she could feel contentment wash over her like a refreshing rain. “Thank you.” She had new purpose as she stood to go back to Joseph.

Now the hard part.

The lights were out in her room, and Joseph had already crawled into bed. Quietly, she lit a single candle.

“Joseph?”

“I’m sleeping,” he murmured.

“I know. But I wanted to tell you that I was wrong. I should not have deceived you or anybody else. You are my husband and the leader of this family. I respect your decisions. Will you forgive me?”

He didn’t answer. Her heart broke as she blew out the candle and got into bed.

I did what you asked Elohim! Why won’t you fix things?

She was on the edge of sleep when Joseph leaned closer to her and kissed her. “I forgive you.”

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

“Asenath, darling?”

“Yes?” she replied then popped a fig into her mouth. Their family’s small breakfast of figs and bread was a reminder of the ever present famine.

“Today is a big day. Our guests will be coming back.”

“They just left this morning!” Manasseh exclaimed, his mouth full of bread.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” she chided him.

“When I prepare to leave in my chariot after breakfast, I would like you to follow in your litter. Just don’t be seen please.”

He seems tense.

“Of course.”

“I want to go!” Ephraim exclaimed. “I want to see the shepherds again.”

Joseph half smiled. “Maybe you will. Amnon’s study looks out onto the main courtyard, right?”

Both nodded.

“Well, you might see them.”

What is he up to?

Breakfast ended, and the boys went off to their studies. Asenath grabbed Joseph’s hand. “What’s wrong?”

“I guess I am just nervous. What if…never mind. Pray for me?”

She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “Always.”